Search This Blog

Background

I am a 57-year-old single mom with adult children.  I came out of a 21-year abusive marriage over 13 years ago.  I am much more emotionally healthy than I used to be, but I still have some work to do.  I have realized how important being proactive about making changes is to my health and happiness.

I am facing some very real obstacles, physically.  I have fairly severe back and knee problems, and struggle with chronic headaches.  I have recently developed problems in my shoulders and have developed Achilles tendonitis.  I cannot do what an average person can do physically, or even what I could do two years ago.  But my doctor tells me weight loss could make all the difference.

I cannot remember a time when I have not struggled with my weight.  I have been up and down and up and down over the years, but it has been a very long time (since before my first child 30 years ago) since I weighed less than 200 pounds.  My size has always caused me a lot of emotional angst and until not too long ago, I didn't like myself very much.  I have always been my own worst enemy -- very self-critical.  I am the only one I expect "perfection" from.  If I could only extend the grace I so freely extend to others to myself, I might not be in this position.

In 2009, after going through a lot of emotional healing, I was successful at losing from a high of 323 pounds to down to a low of 253 pounds.

During 2010, for a number of reasons, I began to struggle.  The headaches were bad again, and at the end of 2010, my back and neck started getting pretty bad.  I was barely getting around.  In 2011, I worked on getting better through doctors.  I had breast reduction surgery, and I had a double fusion on my neck.  These surgeries helped the upper body symptoms, but my lower back was still pretty bad, which included radiating pain down both of my legs.  Headaches were still a problem, at times, and a headache specialist said I was having rebound headaches from the narcotics.  So I got off of them.  This produced some very real side effects for a while, and I wanted to eat everything in sight, especially sweets.  And I did.  I gained back to a place I never wanted to be again -- 300 pounds.

In 2014, my back pain (sciatica) had gotten so bad, I was barely getting around.  I had decompression surgery on my back.  It helped.  Less than 2 weeks later, I had a full hysterectomy (there was the threat of malignancy, but it turned out to be benign).  My emotions went on a rollercoaster during the last year and I gained back to around 300 pounds.

In 2015, I began to find some answers.  I discovered that I was gluten sensitive.  I fought back and again lost 45-55 pounds.

In the midst of all that, I further injured my right knee and was to the point of needing a replacement in my left.  In November 2015 I had double knee surgery -- I was scoped for the meniscus tear in the right knee, and had a full replacement in the left.

That brings me to 2016.  Although my health has been steadily improving in many ways, my weight seemed to get stuck.  And I continued with a great deal of chronic pain, particularly in my back.  Sciatica has been a constant, although not as bad as it got before my decompression surgery.  But something had to give.  So I am taking some rather drastic steps, some many think, but I am marching onward to better health and less pain.

If history tells me anything, it's that this is something I cannot do on my own.  I have tried countless times.  Sometimes I have success for a season (a lot more since I left my marriage and began to heal), but I always seem to lose my footing and backtrack.  I don't want to keep going around this mountain for the rest of my life.  It is time to conquer this and live in victory, and with God's help, I will do that.  I know it will be a daily struggle that I can never let down my guard about.  I must walk in dependence on Him.

Writing about my struggles and triumphs is therapeutic for me.  The Bible says we overcome "by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony."  So as I walk through this journey, I know with the strength and wisdom God imparts, I will overcome!  Starting this blog was really a step of faith.  I don't want to start writing about this and not finish.  If I can help someone with some of the things I am learning, that would be awesome!  "In our weakness, He is made strong."

After my first successful day on this plan, which I detail on another page, I thought, “1 down, 499 to go.”  I don’t know where I came up with the 500 days number – I just thought I have to do what I did that first day a bunch more times in order to get where I want to go, and 500 days popped into my head.  I thought, if I can have 500 successful days, in near succession, I know I can get where I want to be.  I know there will be days that I am not “on plan.”  And having a day or two off plan here and there does not mean I have to start over.  As long as there is not a long succession of days when I am off plan, I know that if I follow a plan of healthy eating and regular exercise for 500 days, I should get pretty close to where I want to go.

I have begun my 500 days again and again.  Now I know more than ever it is much more than 500 days put together.  It is a new lifestyle that never stops.  But I believe I have found the key.  It is not about 500 days of "eating right."  It is about finding health and the rest takes care of itself.
 

5 comments:

  1. You will do it, I am sure. I am pulling for you. Your story is pretty inpiring. I am glad that God planted the 500 days in you, with Him you will get through it. Praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You will do it, I am sure. I am pulling for you. Your story is pretty inpiring. I am glad that God planted the 500 days in you, with Him you will get through it. Praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! I do believe I will do it too.

      Delete

  3. The way to heal is to get good professional ongoing therapy..a therapist who specializes in Trauma. I know...been there, done that and have recovered beautifully.

    ReplyDelete

I welcome your comments and read every one! However, if you are trying to sell me or my readers something, your comment will be deleted posthaste. Thanks for reading my blog and I hope you receive encouragement from it. --Sheryl