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Monday, February 2, 2015

Right Back To It

The scale showed possibly a .2-pound (that’s point two, not 2 pounds) “gain” after yesterday.  I am very good with that.  I won’t be spending my whole week making up for it.  I am back to it today.

I read my blog in a couple of spots most of the weekend.  First I wanted to read when I was on Medifast last time.  Man, I was kickin’ it pretty good at that time.  I didn’t remember how much I was trying to exercise too during that time.  Of course, now I remember that was why I did Medifast in the first place.  I wanted to get some weight off quickly so my pain levels improved enough to where I could get exercise.  Looks like I accomplished that pretty well.

The second spot I read in my blog is the time leading up to my back surgery.  What was I doing that may have brought it on when it did?  Was I heavier at that time, etc.?  I probably need to go a little further back than I did to see when the pain started getting worse, but I got to my lightest weight yet at the time my back was getting the worst.  So I guess that shows it is not all weight that was my problem.  Now that I have had that decompression surgery, if I can get my weight back down again, I am interested to see how much better I will feel.  I know I felt so much better after surgery.  Then I had a full hysterectomy less than two weeks later and my emotions got all wompy, and I just could not pull it together, so gained all the weight.  Do I regret that?  Of course.  But it does no good to kick myself for it.  I just have to take things as they are and go from here.

One thing I did right before it got really bad is we moved and I did a lot of lifting.  I remember now that it was getting worse before that.  But I think the move pushed me over the edge.  Note to self:  next time I move, pay someone to do it for me.  I’ve never had the luxury of doing that, but I have the financial ability to do that now, if I planned ahead.

 I do fancy I feel some better, even after just 10-12 pounds lost.  That’s good!  It remains to be seen whether it is just a coincidence or if the weight-loss is really doing that much good.  I was a little surprised to be feeling this much better after only 10-12 pounds lost.

Early in 2014, before back surgery, I had a post or two about how your words are important and inner healing, etc.  It’s funny, but that is the part I struggled with so much after the hysterectomy.  I know my hormones were out of whack, but I would like to get to the place where I do not revert back to being so self-critical.  I was very unforgiving of myself during that time, which was a lot of the problem.  Looking back, I know I had to be extremely hormonal because I wasn’t nearly so self-critical before I started last week.  I know that I did not take enough time off after those two surgeries.  I did not give myself time to heal.  Physically I felt okay, but that didn’t mean I was ready to go back to work that soon.  I just felt so pressured for some reason.  Next time, I need to stand up for me more.  Hopefully there isn’t a next time, but real life says there probably will be.  Also, my daughter got married the weekend after I went back to work, so we were trying to get a wedding done in the midst of my recovery.  That’s a lot of pressure for anyone.  But I could not have enjoyed the wedding if I did not have the surgery when I did.

I am glad that in my blog during the time I was on Medifast I was pretty detailed about what I ate.  It helped when buying groceries yesterday and helps me know what I can eat and be successful.

This morning, before breakfast, I had a couple of celery sticks after taking my medication.  I was hungry and I needed something in my tummy, but I didn’t want to eat breakfast that early.  I woke up with some minor withdrawal symptoms and couldn’t go back to sleep, but it seems my current medication took care of it.  For breakfast I had a MF pancake with a little sugar-free jelly.  Later I had a couple of baby carrots.  I drank down a little more than a bottle of water (probably about 20 oz.) before leaving for work.  That is one thing I am focusing on today.  On my last bathroom break, I stopped and drank down two 12-ounce cups of water.  I will keep doing that until I have met “my quota.”  That seems to work for me pretty well.  One thing I am not giving up yet is drinking a SF Monster every day.  My medication makes me sleepy.  Plus, I enjoy them and I don’t have much to make my taste buds happy during the day on Medifast.  I will do with this habit after I move on from MF.  However, on my old medication (which made me soooooo sleepy all the time), I was drinking two Monsters a day.  I am cutting it down to one.

Mid-morning I had a MF snack bar.  So far I haven’t needed any raw veggies to stave off hunger this morning.  Lunch will be a MF shake.  I will probably eat a few raw veggies and an apple at some point this afternoon.  Then, late afternoon I will have another MF snack bar.

Later

My hunger is staying much more satisfied today.  That lets me know a lot of the issue last week was the withdrawal problem.  However, even yesterday on my off-day, I would eat what should have filled me up, but I still felt a little hollow.  Maybe I just needed to get used to eating less.

I started getting hungry after that and then realized it was almost 3:00.  Not too long until I can have an afternoon snack.  Definitely better this week.  Then I got busy with my boss and it was 4:30 before I had my afternoon snack.  That was good, since I'm not as hungry when I get home as if I have it earlier.

Evening

It's bedtime, so I want to finish this up and get to bed.  I finished out on track.  I had a small flat iron steak and some green beans (fresh) with a few slivered almonds sprinkled on them for dinner.  Those seemed like the best green beans I ever tasted.  I had a piece of fruit to finish it out, since I never did have one earlier in the day.  My evening snack was a MF shake.

Before having my shake, I was having to talk myself out of eating "just a little something" or eating yogurt instead of my MF food, but I drank the shake down, it took care of any hunger and I was fine.  But I sure don't like 'em.  They do fill you up pretty good, though, and I ordered enough for two a day, so need to do that for everything to come out like it should on my order.

Going to bed now.  Over and out.

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