Well, hello there! It has certainly been a while since I posted. The last two months have not been all bad, but I have not been focused on weight loss. I have pretty much maintained the last few weeks. I am feeling ready (I hope) to get back to it.
My appetite lately seems to have decreased. I don’t know what is causing it, but I need to listen to it. I am supremely uncomfortable if I eat too much and I do not like that feeling. I am not sure what kind of program I want to do, but as I am getting started again, my plan is first, to get off sugar, and second, listen to my appetite. My other goals will be to drink more water and to get started on some light exercise. I hope my weight will start to move as I do these things and then I will think more intently about what “plan” I want to follow. The last thing I need right now is to start something rather drastic and fail again.
Here is an example of my appetite. I had some cereal left in the house and wanted an easy breakfast, so I poured a smallish bowl (for me) of cereal. (The cereal does have some sugar in it, but not the kind I am worried about. I am not going to binge on this cereal. I don’t know if I will buy it again, but I feel okay about finishing it up.) Anyway, after eating about half of what I poured out, I was pretty much having to force it down, so I stopped. I really felt like I was going to have to eat something else later in the morning, and did get a little hungry at one point, but was busy and never got around to it. For lunch I brought a Lean Cuisine panini that Stephanie had bought and never eaten. I finished it and right now, I feel satisfied. We will see if it lasts me all afternoon. (It is now about 4:00 and so far, so good.)
I have been on a cleaning and organizational kick (for me) the last few days. It really wasn’t motivated by a New Year’s resolution or something like that. I got things all cleaned up after Christmas and I liked how it felt so much, I have really been trying to maintain. Something just feels different about it. I am doing it because I like the way a clean house feels instead of because of some feeling that I have to be that way to be acceptable. I began to want to get things “underneath” looking organized and pretty too, so I have started working on that. Things are really not that bad, as in it won’t take weeks to get things in shape. Sometimes it feels that way because the loft is small and a little bit of clutter seems like a lot. One thing I have decided is that we are too comfortable with clutter. I want to find a place for things that are just sitting out all the time because there is no place to keep them (or I haven’t decided on a place to keep them). I am starting with one area and am buying what I need to get it like I want it, and the goal is to work on another small area each month and purchase the things I need to keep it more organized.
For example, my first project is the biggest – my laundry closet. It is too full and has stuff in it that we don’t even use. I have decided it would be more efficient to stack my front load washer and dryer, so have ordered a kit to do that. Then my plan is to buy a cubby and some baskets or bins to organize the other things I keep in there. I also bought an over-the-door rack to hang my ironing board on and it has a shelf for the iron. On the other door I will put a rack for my brooms and mops (which I also bought) I took a before picture and will take an after picture after it is done and post them both. I also bought some stuff for my pantry, since I have some extra Christmas money left – just some stacking containers to make better use of space, etc.
Next month I plan to start on 1 or 2 cabinets at a time and buy the pull-out drawers so you can store your pots and pans (or whatever) and be able to pull out the drawer and see everything that’s in the cabinet.
That stuff can be a little pricy, but hopefully I can get enough for at least one cabinet each month. Then I will do the same in the bathroom and buy some things to better organize the linen closet (although it is not bad).
I am also trying to make things more accessible. Although my shoulders are better than they were, I still do not want to have get things down from high places that I use often. I am trying to put lesser used items up high and things I use regularly down where they are more accessible. For instance, we made this kind of coffee bar on an “island” we purchased for the kitchen (it was called an island, but we keep it against a wall). There is a Keurig machine, coffee pods, flavored syrups (which we also use for hot chocolate and other things), etc. It’s cute, but the thing is, neither one of us are drinking coffee right now. I don’t drink it at all and Stephanie has been getting hers at Starbucks. I do want to keep it for when we have company. Up above that “island” is a shelf we installed which had my canisters (flour, sugar, etc.) on it. I use those pretty regularly. So I reversed them and put the coffee bar stuff on the shelf and the canisters down on the island where I don’t have to reach to get them.
As for my pain issues, as I said, my shoulders are feeling some better most days. If I do something that uses them too much, they will flare up, but they are much better than they were. (Hence, moving things I use more often to where they are more accessible.) My back feels decent some days, but if I do quite a bit more because it is feeling decent, then I pay for it the next day. I guess I am okay with that, rather than never having a good day. I need to get more done when I can. But I will definitely have to be careful as I start trying to get some exercise. Walking will not be a part of it. I think the best thing I can do is my recumbent bike and some light yoga type things for now. Then, hopefully, as my weight starts to come down, I will start having more “good” days to work with. Having only major pain issue to deal with (my back issues) instead of two (my back issues and my shoulders) is much easier to take. I also have my knee, but it is not as debilitating. I am back to taking a full dose of pain medication almost every time and I seem to be tolerating it a little better. I still get sleepy, but not like I can’t work through it most of the time. If I sit still, I could definitely fall asleep, though. Hopefully that will get even better. I am just thankful to have some pain relief. At the end of four hours, I am always feeling the need for more – because of pain, not because of addiction. I am hurting all over when the medication wears off (probably fibromyalgia, as well as the back issues).
My goal for 2015 is to take my life back from pain. I want to get my weight down and feel well enough to get out and do more.
I am planning (and have saved the money for) a trip to New York City in early April. I would like to feel at least some better by then, because I know there will be a lot of walking. But regardless, I’m going to go. I will ask the doctor for a round of steroids when I go, and that will help. It won’t help afterwards, but you have to live life a little, even if it causes pain.
If I get things more on track with keeping things clean, I will feel more like having people over to my home and at least get to be with people that way. I know one reason I close myself off to people and don’t ask them over is because I feel like my house is always messy. But the reverse is true, too. I think sometimes the messy house is my way of shutting myself off from people. I just know I love the feeling of peace and wellbeing that comes when my home is in order. So much more restful. I want to do it, if just for that.
That’s all for today. Happy 2015 everyone!!!