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Sunday, August 31, 2014

Preparations

Well, I'm totally stocked up and ready to get started.  We have a Labor Day get-together to go to tomorrow, so my plan is to really get started Tuesday.  But my eating has been reasonable.  I won't be surprised if I've lost a pound when I weigh tomorrow.

I'm kind of excited, in a way.  I've gone through that sinking feeling for a few months now when you put on something and it is not fitting well.  I put on a shirt this morning that used to be pretty loose and my thought this time was, well at least I will start going the other way soon.  I know I could have done that at any time the last few months, but the confidence was not there.  I didn't have the confidence to even start, most of the time.  I was pretty depressed for a while there, and that always makes me feel paralyzed.  It's a vicious circle.  I'm glad I'm feeling better, and I will start feeling even better when my weight is going in the right direction again and I am practicing better habits.

Sometime between now and Tuesday morning I need to get meals mapped out for at least a couple of days.  I don't have a good grasp on what to do on the low-carb day and high-carb day, so I can't decide in the moment as easily.  Planning is always better anyway.

We bought a ton of groceries and I had to work to get it all in the refrigerator and freezer.  Some of it is going to work with my daughter, so it will get better.  (Why do we do that?)  I am so looking forward to them getting a grocery store downtown (which is supposed to happen in 2016, lol).  I think then I will just buy for a couple of days and hopefully not overbuy like I often do now.  I need to do this (start this eating plan) and not waste the food we have bought.

Things are going pretty well at work, and that is making me feel good.  I'm taking on new projects and doing things I haven't done before (like finding a case for my boss that supports a certain set of facts).  It is challenging and satisfying.  Confidence in one area can help you in another area, so I'm glad for that.

Pain is not too bad, but I've been having headaches and I'm trying to keep them under control.  And one shoulder is really hurting when I move it away from my body.  Sadly, that is just something I have to deal with, so no biggy.  Hopefully the doctor can do something for it.

That's all today.  Just getting ready to get going.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Stocking Up

I am gearing up to really get going.  I have been doing better, but I needed the groceries to really get started on carb-cycling.  I bought a load from Costco today and will get the rest of what I need tomorrow to stock up.  Going to both places was too much for one day.  I am planning a low-carb day tomorrow.  Monday will be high-carb with a cheat meal.  I know that is soon, but we have plans for Labor Day that were already made.  The slow plan on carb cycling allows you to have a cheat meal every other day.  I know that is not advisable, but that is one reason I chose this.  I thought, if nothing else, I could do the slow plan. If I'm struggling, I would know that even if I can't have something today, I can have it tomorrow.  I really want to get started on a faster plan, but that is there if I need it.

I plan to get started on the recumbent bike Tuesday morning.  Today I did a lot of walking and will tomorrow too.  Monday I plan to be in the pool a little bit and am going to do some stretching, etc. then.  And maybe some treading water, which will be a little cardio.  I still haven't gotten through the exercise part of Chris Powell's book, so need to do that.  I won't be able to do everything he recommends.  I do want to start on some core exercises for my back's sake and a lot of stretching, which I think will help my pain levels.  I just need to get going on some sort of routine.

I still feel a little weak-willed, but I need to remember, "There is no try -- just do or don't do."   It's time to get going.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Do, or do not. There is no "try."

I am feeling more motivated today.  I am continuing to read Chris Powell’s book, Choose to Lose:  The 7-Day Carb Cycle Solution.  One reason I am choosing this is because you can work the plan at different levels.  Since my motivation is not great right now, I can do the easy program which provides for slow weight loss.  However, I will likely begin to feel more motivated as I become successful and can move to either the Fit Plan or the Turbo Plan (or rotate from week to week).

I scheduled appointments with 4 different doctors for September 4.  They are:
  1. Foot Doctor – still have trouble with the Achilles tendonopathy.  It was pretty swollen last week and I went back to the boot.  Lord knows I don’t want to rupture my tendon.  I also bought a device (see picture) to facilitate my stretching I am supposed to do.
    Complete Medical Products Foot Rocker Model 10002
  2. Back Doctor – need to follow up on my back surgery and get a neck x-ray to make sure one of the other levels has not collapsed below my fusion.  I am requiring pain medication more consistently than I ever have, which I think is largely due to weight gain.  I want to talk to her about that, too.
  3. Knee/Shoulder Doctor – I have had an ongoing knee problem in my left knee (am almost bone on bone in that knee) and the weight gain is not helping any; a steroid shot should help.  I was diagnosed with shoulder impingement syndrome in February and likely will receive steroid shots in both shoulders to help with the pain there.
  4. Internist – need to follow up on my hormone replacement therapy after my hysterectomy.  Also want to follow up on my antidepressant.  What I am taking is helping some, but not quite enough.  I may need a boost for a while until I can get some positive behaviors kicked into gear, which always helps me feel better.

That’s a lot, but it seems easier to do it all in one day because it is hard enough to get away from the office as it is, and my daughter and I have to juggle the car when I go and it will be easier to only have to do that one day instead of several different times.  I have cancelled several appointments because I haven’t wanted to deal with juggling the car and getting back to work on the same day.

After I finish Chris Powell’s book, I am going to restart The Beck Diet Solution.  In the meantime, I am going to restart the habit of going through my motivation journal every day.  I need to keep the possibility of reduced pain at the forefront of my mind because I am having trouble believing that that can actually happen, and weight loss is the most important thing I can do to bring that about.

I ordered another device that I hope will help with my on-again, off-again chronic headaches.  They are on again right now, probably from working so many long hours.  It is called an occipivot and it works on releasing tension in the muscles at the base of the skull.  It was recommended by my massage therapist and it has very good reviews.  I am hopeful it will help.  It should be here by Friday.

Occipivot

 

They make other devices like this that work on the rest of the spine, and if I have a good result with this, I may collect the others, one by one.  I need to do things at home that give me the benefits getting regular massage therapy gives, but which I cannot afford right now.  My back feels in knots all the time.

I want to start planning my mornings (before work) and get myself back into doing a workout on my recumbent bike and walking my dog again.  It seems so difficult to face right now.  Baby steps.  There will be some exercise prescribed in Chris Powell’s book, and I will have to see what of it I can do right now.  Don’t want to set off any extra problems in my back, but need to get moving again.  Some yoga (at home) would be good too.

Here is a quote from the book I need to keep in mind:

Two simple words can threaten your integrity, your commitment to yourself. At one time or another, most people who want to lose weight make a common blunder when they think about the challenges they face. Instead of committing to triumph in the battle between mind and machine, they say the two weakest words in the English language: “I’ll try.” When we’re not prepared to truly make a commitment, we try. Saying “I’ll try” means our soul isn’t really in it. We tell ourselves “I’ll try” when our inflated egos won’t come clean and admit that we’re actually not all that determined . We can’t overcome obstacles with the words “I’ll try.” As Yoda, the philosopher in the Star Wars movies, says, “Do, or do not. There is no ‘try.’” The choice to do is up to us. We might not be able to do the impossible, but we can achieve the unlikely. Meeting and conquering challenges is within our grasp. Every time we do, we make a leap. One success leads to the next, and before we know it, we’ve reached our goal. There may be bumps along the way, but each one teaches us something that allows us to progress toward our goal. Honor your commitment to yourself:

“Today I won’t just aim for my goal. I’ll take action to reach my goal.”

Am I there yet?  I need to be.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

It's Been a While

Hey there!  It's been a while.  Things have been better in some ways, but not in others.  I haven't been as depressed as I had been, and not as down on myself.  But I still haven't put very many good days together to get back on track with losing weight.

I have worked a lot lately.  I had two 70+-hour work weeks in the last 4 weeks.  In some ways, that has helped.  I haven't been as depressed, because I haven't had time to dwell on failures.

I was watching Extreme Weight Loss tonight and a couple of things Chris said (to the woman who got kicked out of the program) hit home for me.  He said she was waiting for the world to change and not owning up to the fact that it never will -- she has to be the one to change.

I think one thing that happened in the last few months was I lost my faith that I could actually do this.  There is so much physical pain to live with every day, and I just have doubted I could get it done.  But I know if I do, there will be less pain.  And I don't have to get all the way to the finish line to reap that benefit.

So, I don't know that I will get totally started tomorrow, but I'm going to start prepping for success.  I had started reading Chris Powell's book and will read more to know what I need to be doing on his program.  In the meantime, I'm going to work on getting away from sweets and drinking more water.

I am trying to coordinate a day of doctor's appointments in the near future.  It will involve my back and neck doctor, my shoulder and knee doctor, my foot doctor and my internist (to deal with hormonal and depression issues).  If I can get a little more pain control going (especially with the shoulders), I think that will help my motivation to exercise.  But regardless, I need to get going on exercise, even if it hurts.  I have to get away from the fear of being uncomfortable.  I am already uncomfortable and that is not going to stop if I don't start making progress.

Over and out.