Hey there! It's been a while. Things have been better in some ways, but not in others. I haven't been as depressed as I had been, and not as down on myself. But I still haven't put very many good days together to get back on track with losing weight.
I have worked a lot lately. I had two 70+-hour work weeks in the last 4 weeks. In some ways, that has helped. I haven't been as depressed, because I haven't had time to dwell on failures.
I was watching Extreme Weight Loss tonight and a couple of things Chris said (to the woman who got kicked out of the program) hit home for me. He said she was waiting for the world to change and not owning up to the fact that it never will -- she has to be the one to change.
I think one thing that happened in the last few months was I lost my faith that I could actually do this. There is so much physical pain to live with every day, and I just have doubted I could get it done. But I know if I do, there will be less pain. And I don't have to get all the way to the finish line to reap that benefit.
So, I don't know that I will get totally started tomorrow, but I'm going to start prepping for success. I had started reading Chris Powell's book and will read more to know what I need to be doing on his program. In the meantime, I'm going to work on getting away from sweets and drinking more water.
I am trying to coordinate a day of doctor's appointments in the near future. It will involve my back and neck doctor, my shoulder and knee doctor, my foot doctor and my internist (to deal with hormonal and depression issues). If I can get a little more pain control going (especially with the shoulders), I think that will help my motivation to exercise. But regardless, I need to get going on exercise, even if it hurts. I have to get away from the fear of being uncomfortable. I am already uncomfortable and that is not going to stop if I don't start making progress.
Over and out.