I scheduled appointments with 4 different doctors for September 4. They are:
- Foot Doctor – still have trouble with the Achilles tendonopathy. It was pretty swollen last week and I went back to the boot. Lord knows I don’t want to rupture my tendon. I also bought a device (see picture) to facilitate my stretching I am supposed to do.
- Back Doctor – need to follow up on my back surgery and get a neck x-ray to make sure one of the other levels has not collapsed below my fusion. I am requiring pain medication more consistently than I ever have, which I think is largely due to weight gain. I want to talk to her about that, too.
- Knee/Shoulder Doctor – I have had an ongoing knee problem in my left knee (am almost bone on bone in that knee) and the weight gain is not helping any; a steroid shot should help. I was diagnosed with shoulder impingement syndrome in February and likely will receive steroid shots in both shoulders to help with the pain there.
- Internist – need to follow up on my hormone replacement therapy after my hysterectomy. Also want to follow up on my antidepressant. What I am taking is helping some, but not quite enough. I may need a boost for a while until I can get some positive behaviors kicked into gear, which always helps me feel better.
That’s a lot, but it seems easier to do it all in one day because it is hard enough to get away from the office as it is, and my daughter and I have to juggle the car when I go and it will be easier to only have to do that one day instead of several different times. I have cancelled several appointments because I haven’t wanted to deal with juggling the car and getting back to work on the same day.
After I finish Chris Powell’s book, I am going to restart The Beck Diet Solution. In the meantime, I am going to restart the habit of going through my motivation journal every day. I need to keep the possibility of reduced pain at the forefront of my mind because I am having trouble believing that that can actually happen, and weight loss is the most important thing I can do to bring that about.
I ordered another device that I hope will help with my on-again, off-again chronic headaches. They are on again right now, probably from working so many long hours. It is called an occipivot and it works on releasing tension in the muscles at the base of the skull. It was recommended by my massage therapist and it has very good reviews. I am hopeful it will help. It should be here by Friday.
They make other devices like this that work on the rest of the spine, and if I have a good result with this, I may collect the others, one by one. I need to do things at home that give me the benefits getting regular massage therapy gives, but which I cannot afford right now. My back feels in knots all the time.
I want to start planning my mornings (before work) and get myself back into doing a workout on my recumbent bike and walking my dog again. It seems so difficult to face right now. Baby steps. There will be some exercise prescribed in Chris Powell’s book, and I will have to see what of it I can do right now. Don’t want to set off any extra problems in my back, but need to get moving again. Some yoga (at home) would be good too.
Here is a quote from the book I need to keep in mind:
Two simple words can threaten your integrity, your commitment to yourself. At one time or another, most people who want to lose weight make a common blunder when they think about the challenges they face. Instead of committing to triumph in the battle between mind and machine, they say the two weakest words in the English language: “I’ll try.” When we’re not prepared to truly make a commitment, we try. Saying “I’ll try” means our soul isn’t really in it. We tell ourselves “I’ll try” when our inflated egos won’t come clean and admit that we’re actually not all that determined . We can’t overcome obstacles with the words “I’ll try.” As Yoda, the philosopher in the Star Wars movies, says, “Do, or do not. There is no ‘try.’” The choice to do is up to us. We might not be able to do the impossible, but we can achieve the unlikely. Meeting and conquering challenges is within our grasp. Every time we do, we make a leap. One success leads to the next, and before we know it, we’ve reached our goal. There may be bumps along the way, but each one teaches us something that allows us to progress toward our goal. Honor your commitment to yourself:
“Today I won’t just aim for my goal. I’ll take action to reach my goal.”
Am I there yet? I need to be.