Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Depression and Checking In
I’ve started a number of posts and never get them posted. Depression can be a powerful thing, and that’s where I’ve been. I’m not sure what brought it on, but it both causes and perpetuates my struggle. Being depressed has made me not feel like doing anything, and not doing anything has added to my depression. I at least know enough to know I need a little help right now. I got started back on my antidepressant last week. When I am doing other things that make me feel better, like exercise and eating better, I don’t need the antidepressant, but I am having difficulty getting myself to do those things with the level of depression I am dealing with right now, so I need the boost. I have noticed the last couple of days that the desire for emotional eating is decreasing a little. I can have a thought of wanting something undesirable to eat and then realize I would rather make a little better choice. Hopefully that will continue to strengthen. Just wanted to let you know I am still here. I know I will get going again. I’m just not there yet. Still struggling with some pain issues. The biggest issue is the headaches. They are back with a vengeance. Always related to neck tension, but I don’t know why I struggle with it sometimes and don’t as much at other times. I know massage therapy was helping, but I don’t have the funds to do that right now. I am trying to stretch semi-regularly and work on posture and position. I set off a rather severe bout of sciatica last week by doing something stupid (lifting heavy weight) weekend before last. As I babied it the following week, it eventually settled back down. I did something else this past weekend that was less than desirable (played “Top Golf”), so it is kind of “twinge-y” right now. I’m going to have to be smarter. Never has it been as bad as it was before surgery, but I still have to be careful. We are still in a waiting game with Stephanie (seems to have another obstruction building). She feels constantly nauseous and every few days will feel like this will be the day that she has to go back to the ER, but it hasn’t happened thus far. Bless her heart. There are other things going on that have been part of the depression, but I’ll leave those unsaid. Just things I have to work through. I know I will get back on track. But as I said, I’m not there yet.