I got up this morning and was really hungry (and thirsty). Sometimes when I am really thirsty, I want cereal. The cereal with the cold milk always tastes good to me. I almost talked myself into eating some more cereal. If my daughter had already been gone to work, I would have eaten some, but when I went to the kitchen, she was there, so I didn't. I kind of snapped out of it and knew I really did not want to be off track another day, so I had my shake for breakfast when I got to work. I'm about to have another for lunch and will have another for snack, if I am hungry. I probably will be and should do that to keep from getting too hungry before going home for dinner. The plan is to eat a protein and vegetable for dinner, and a cup of hot chocolate, which I really enjoy and which I think helps my sweet tooth. I know it is really important that I stay on track today to set the tone for the rest of the week, so I am going to do my best. I really would like to be two sizes down by the wedding, but at least one size, so I have to keep at it, not to mention the pain issues.
I never did have any of the really bad pain over the weekend. I felt close to it after doing some shopping on Saturday. I did have some new pain, which felt like it came from the lower back problem and radiated around my right side to the pelvic area. It was very sharp pain. I do believe it is connected to the lower back problem. After that I was extremely sore in that area all weekend, but never that sharp shooting like it did the first time. However, I dreamed off and on during the night that I was in labor (Lord, no!), so I believe I was having that pain during the night.
Today I have been doing pretty well up until a few minutes ago. I got up to go to the restroom, and when I got up I felt very stiff and painful down the backs of my legs. As I walked to the restroom, the bad sciatic pain hit me again. Not as much as when it made me cry, but the same pain. I had hoped I was starting to get a little better, but I guess not.
I did some more reading about people's experiences with recovery from the type of surgery I would have to have. It's kind of scary to read some of that. My daughter says I need to listen to her, because she actually had the surgery and her recovery was not that bad. I told her the thing that concerned me was 1) I am 27 years older than she is; and 2) it depended on if I had to have more than one level fused. I also think that the people who tend to post on these forums are the ones who have had trouble or generally have a negative outlook. The ones that recover with no problem do not see the need to post on these boards. I also think that, many times, the people that have problems are the type who do not know how to rest and take it easy during the first part of their recovery. I even saw that discussed -- many "Type A" personalities are the ones who cannot stand to let people help them and who try to do too much too soon, and they are also the type to post on the boards. I am not a Type A personality at all. I don't like having to make people wait on me, but I can do it, and I do know how to take it easy. :) If I have the surgery, I think I will be doing a diet similar to what I am doing now (making very sure, however, to eat enough calories and protein to give my body what it needs to heal), so I wouldn't have to be putting much effort into my meals. And I don't have kids to care for, like many people who post on the forums. I would not have a lot of housework to do, especially with my daughter there helping me. My biggest thing will be wanting (needing) to get back to work as soon as I can. But, my job is pretty sedentary, and I can make it more that way by asking my bosses to bring me work and come get the finished product, plus asking others to do things that require me walking too much. Of course, if sitting is painful (which it was, for some), that could be a problem.
I was mentioning yesterday that I needed to be prepared, financially, for missing several weeks of work. My daughter asked me why, since she believes I could be back to work in 2-3 weeks. Some people I read about did not get back to work for months. I told her I wanted to be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best. I do know one thing -- I have a high pain tolerance. And I have had medical people tell me I have a high pain tolerance. I have been used to working while in pain for years. So unless it is an excessive amount of pain, I can't see that working while still having recovery pain will be a problem. I tend to be a Polyanna about things, though, and I am trying to be realistic in my expectations. I wish I knew, for sure, how things were going to be, but there is no way of knowing. So I will spend some more time praying and deciding if the dangers I could face are worse than what I am going through right now. As bad as the pain has been recently, I can't imagine that it would be.
I promised some progress pics, and didn't get them done over the weekend, so did them tonight. I'm going to show the old one and then the new one. As I type this, I don't even know what the difference is going to look like. In the old ones (6/3/12), I weighed 283.6. In the new ones, I weigh right around 242.6.
One last pic. Here's me, all ready for the black tie event Saturday evening. I don't know why, but the picture kind of embarrasses me -- I guess because I look so different than I usually do. I had a great time. It was fun to play Cinderella for the evening.
My daughter dolled me up for the evening, doing my hair and makeup.
I did what I planned for dinner -- grilled chicken with a little parmesan on top, roasted broccoli and some hot chocolate. I was satisfied. I need to drink another bottle of water before bed, so that's the plan.
That's all for tonight. Over and out.