Day 1 went well. I did as I planned. Day 2 is going well, so far. I am following Holly's plan of sugar detox. I am drinking Atkins shakes whenever I get hungry. I am supplementing it with a few almonds when I need something more than the liquid in my tummy (because of medication). I plan to do this for a week, maybe longer. If I do it any longer, I will take a day off. I don't want my body and metabolism to slow down. But I feel it is important to get a good amount of weight off to help with the sciatica. At the same time, I know that what I am doing is a diet and I am working on a lifestyle. This is just a way to get going again and get off of sugar.
I think I will wait to weigh until after this week. I need to get rid of the bloat and get moving again after the holidays.
I feel motivated right now and I would love to pour that motivation into exercise, but I really can't do that right now. It feels kind of like ready, set and...nothing. That is another reason I am following this plan right now. But all the while, I know it is temporary and lifestyle is what is important. I just hope I start feeling better soon so I can do what I need to do. I also need to fight the feeling that I am glad I have the excuse not to have to begin exercising. That's not how I ultimately feel, but starting again is always the hardest part.
I visited with my sister on New Year's Day and she expressed how amazed she is that I have kept going and haven't given up. She attributed that to the blog, and that is part of it. The biggest thing, though, is that I have gotten well on the inside. The self-hatred I struggled with for so many years kept me from being able to keep on doing what I needed to do to have victory over this. I now have strength to at least keep trying. I am a work in progress, but I have come very far! The biggest thing that helped me get well was to get away from the biggest negative force in my life. We should all surround ourselves with the people who will build us up and tell us we can achieve our goals. I lived for many years with not only verbal and emotional abuse, but the constant expectation that I would fail. If you have someone like that in your life, it is time to draw the line and say I am going to separate myself from you until you can support me in what I need to do and begin to believe the best of me. I am not condoning divorce, but I do believe in setting a boundary. If the other person does not want to change, hold your ground. You deserve to be supported and encouraged. Don't settle for anything less. I will never live in that negative environment again. And I will also do my best to be a positive and encouraging person to others.
One thing I have been hearing from many different people is the importance of our words. I am really going to work on that this year. I want to speak positively and always words of encouragement -- to others and to myself. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." The words we speak to ourselves are arguably the most important. If we don't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others effectively? My daughter told me the other day that she was going to start talking to me the way I talk to myself so I can see how it is. I'm really going to work on that.