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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Hurting

I woke up feeling a little weak this morning.  My stomach doesn't feel extremely hungry, but I can tell it's because my body is wanting food.  I may have to increase my calories a bit today.  We will see.  I would expect to be hungry, so will eat what I have been eating first before doing that.

I was really seeing a difference in myself, looking in the mirrors in the elevator this morning.  However, I tried on a couple of "party" dresses I have that were my daughters', one size 16 and one size 18, and still feel like I have so much work to do.  For one thing, my arms really bother me.  I need to get to work on those arm exercises I started a while back.

As the day has gone on, my hunger has been okay.  It's 2:30 and I'm just about to drink my second shake.  I have had a few almonds.

The sciatica is trying to act up again today.  I was standing talking to someone (just for a minute) and I felt it begin to shoot down my leg.  I quickly sat down and warded off anything worse.  But my back feels very catchy and I have had a little sciatic pain while sitting at my desk.  MRI tonight.

I was thinking last night about my purpose.  I have always believed that our purpose is often born out of our greatest struggle.  The thing that motivates me the most, as far as a person in life, is to help other people who are going through what I have been through. I'm going to be giving that some thought.

As the day went on, I did fine with my appetite.  I've stuck with the mostly liquid diet.

The MRI was rough.  I had been hurting anyway, and I thought I was not going to make it through without moving, I was hurting so much.  But I did.  I really need to get well (or better).  The wedding is coming up in a little more than 2 months.  I certainly don't want to have back surgery before then, if that is what ends up happening.  I kind of wish I had a scooter.  Weight bearing sets things off more than anything.

I don't feel like saying anything else.  I'm hurting.  :(

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