Saturday, August 31, 2013
I walked down and got my membership card from my new gym last night. I would like to do some kind of workout there today -- perhaps a swim. I think I will find a schedule for beginning swimming workouts. I feel better about swimming now than I did a couple of months ago. The range of motion in my shoulders and neck is so much better. Swimming seemed like it would be tough the way I was before. I also want to get in that yoga workout I had scheduled for Thursday night and was not able to do.
Stephanie was over again last night. She just doesn't want to be at home alone so much. Her sister is involved with her boyfriend, etc., so is rarely home. So I spent time with Steph. She had a test done on her adrenal gland (system?) and it had some strange results. So she is being referred to a an endocrinologist. It could explain why she is so worn out. I hope it is something that is highly treatable, if it is anything. It is a little disconcerting, to tell you the truth. You want answers, but you don't want bad answers. I have thought for a while that Stephanie shows signs of significant hormonal imbalance. I don't mean just female hormones, but things like the adrenal gland, insulin resistance, and other things I can't think of right now. I have wondered if all the surgeries she has had in the last 10 years have messed up her system. I pray for answers, but fixable answers. This situation should have had me on my knees more, years ago. I don't know why I have been so slow to commit this to consistent prayer. But there is a lot of stuff tied up in that part of my life that have to do with my ex-husband and my resisting anything that was too much like him. I knew I had swung too far the other way, but I also knew it was just a process I had to go through, to get back to a pure faith that was not tainted by his abuse. Does that make sense?
Now, I'm going to take a break from writing this post to go walk my restless dog.
So, the plan for today is to clean, do at least one workout, and possibly go through some of the clothes in the bins in my closet to see what kind of wardrobe I will have in the next 10-15 pounds. Other than that, I want to read and I am not sure what else. Oh yeah, I also need to go pick up the recliner I ordered. It is smaller than the one I have and will fit the space in my room a lot better. That one can be moved back to my living room. I am pretty sure there will be some assembly involved, so I will have to put it together, but I hope it will make my bedroom feel a little less cramped.
My first bit of chores involved getting my room ready to be bombed for fleas again. I must have done something wrong last time, because the bombs were much more heavy this time and no way could I stay in the apartment, even with my efforts to seal off the room. So I had to quickly get me and the dog and the cat out. I put the cat on a leash, just to have a way to keep him from running away if he got difficult, and boy, did he. I tried to hold on to him, but was getting scratched too much, so put him down on the leash while trying to get to my car. He twisted, and twirled, and howled and tried to climb my body more than once. Ouchies! Lol. Once in the car (we just sat there a bit with the air conditioning on), he settled down and was much more calm than Cas. Cas gets very car sick, and he got very anxious even without the car moving. I finally had to give Cas a break and take him outside for a bit (left the cat in the car and he did fine; it was still cool when I came back). Before getting the cat, I went back in my loft and the fog had let up and I opened windows and put a fan at the window and turned the a/c back on. I felt okay to come back in the main part of the loft, but not my bedroom, so I went and got the cat out of the car, this time with a box. I'm not that dumb, to do it a second time. I hope this does a much better job than last time because, honestly, I have been getting chewed up at night. I change my sheets often and wash them in hot water on a long cycle, and dry them a long time on the hottest setting, but it's not long until I am getting bitten again. I also have my mattresses and pillow covered with protective covers. They also are in my recliner. I spray around the room often, but it was not working well enough. Cas is at the groomer right now, getting a flea treatment, and Aslan is getting an oral flea treatment, so hopefully I will start getting on top of this now. I will bomb it as many times as I have to. I can't keep living with this. I made a mistake the last time I bombed, I realized, and it didn't release the gas as well as it should have and that's why it never fogged up the rest of my loft.
It's a great day for a swim. Hopefully I can get down to the gym in a bit and take advantage of that pool. It is a lap pool, totally. No kids playing in it that I have seen. They also have an aquatic Zumba class at this gym, which I would like to try. Hopefully I can make the time work for me. My swimsuit is getting huge on me, but I have another one in the bins in my closet that I should be able to wear pretty soon, so I don't want to buy another one. So I will just make this one work.
I did go swimming (go me!). It was hard to make myself go, but I didn't want to just talk about it and not do it. I used to be a pretty decent swimmer (not competitive, by any means, but decent). It is going to take a while to get that back. I was hoping I would be alone in the pool, but no such luck. I was kind of self-conscious. The first length down, I swam the breast stroke (is that what it is called?) and almost lost my swimsuit bottoms. Lol. They are tooooo big. I wasn't doing very well at that. So I did a number of laps with my version of a side stroke and a couple with a back stroke. I also did a lot of walking laps and duck walking laps (the pool is not very deep), frontward and backward. Those are actually pretty tiring, especially when I use my arms to create resistance. I also did some stretching that is easier to do in the water than out of the water. I was pretty sore by the time I was done.
Then I went to pick up my recliner. I had to stand and wait a while and I was kind of hurting. I was having a hard time not tensing up or standing on leg (which is bad for my back, the way I do it). I paced around and it felt better. I finally got the box and they loaded it in the car. I got it home and got it in my loft myself. It had a nylon strap on the box and dragged it in, since it weighed 80 pounds. After all that, I was ready to sit about. Soon I need to get started on putting my chair together so I can enjoy my room. I can't really read or watch television in bed. It bothers my neck. I need my recliner.
Even though my loft doesn't look much like it yet, I am having a pretty productive day. I just need to hang in there and keep going.
Breakfast this morning was bacon and a 2-egg omelet with sharp cheddar cheese. I had a snack bar mid-morning and lunch was a taco salad (who knew you could have a low carb taco salad?) at around 1:00. Another snack bar later in the afternoon. I may have another taco salad for dinner. That was really good (ground meat with taco seasonings, lettuce, onion, avocado, shredded cheese, salsa and ranch dressing)!
I have a ton of things left to do, so I'm going to get this posted. Happy Labor Day Weekend!
Friday, August 30, 2013
I was so looking forward to getting through today and getting to the 3-day weekend. I am pretty fed up with the way my family has been beat up over the last few years. This needs to stop. I need to be more serious about praying over the situation. Enough is enough. When my daughter talked to me about all those things last night, my normal reaction is I just want to fix it. But I can't fix this, try as I might. But I know the One Who can.
I am doing my best not to hold onto the stress of this. I am feeling so much better in a lot of ways. I was marveling this morning over the range of motion in my neck. It hasn't been this way for a long, long time. And I am having very few headaches. As far as the rest of my body, most of what I feel today is muscle soreness from the exercise and my thighs are tired from the workouts. I can deal with that. My MT did a major stretch on my feet and the backs of my legs, for the plantar fasciitis. I was amazed at how much my left leg fought it. I tried to stop resisting, but I couldn't. I didn't realize how much I was fighting it until she took her hand and pushed my left knee down. Then the sciatic pain started kicking in. She said I had probably developed a protective mechanism from the sciatica. Ouchies. When she did my right leg, I was able to see the difference -- I didn't have any trouble keeping that leg straight and not fighting what she was doing. She showed me more stretches to do on my left hip. There is only so much I can tolerate, because it really causes the radiating pain to kick in while I am doing it. But I don't seem to have any residual pain today, thank the Lord. So I will do these several times during the week, just a little at a time.
Despite the goings-on from last night and the heaviness of my heart, plus getting to bed later than I like to and oversleeping, I did my recumbent bike workout. That means I have gotten 8 workouts this week, even though some of them were small. They count.
I have now passed 5 pounds lost, so I can set another 5-pound goal. The Beck Diet Solution says you should reward yourself for each goal met. Perhaps I over-indulged a 5-pound loss, but these 5 pounds were a long time coming. Here is my reward (my pets insisted on being in the pictures):
|This will go with a blouse I have|
(among other things)
|This will go great with a dress I have.|
Today turned out to be pretty busy. But that's good -- it makes the day go fast. I got off on time. I have been feeling a little bored with my food the last couple of days. I looked at some Atkins recipes, and with all the sauces you can make, there is no need to have some plain, tasteless meat for dinner. I got a grilled chicken breast from the cafeteria downstairs at work, and it just seemed like it was missing something -- to me it need a little sweetness in the seasoning, but you can't do that much with Atkins. I only ate half of it for lunch. And the broccoli I got was really bland, so I only ate a couple of bites (but I did eat a salad). So I had those for dinner and made a little cheese sauce with cream and some cheddar melted in, with some seasonings added. Much better! I printed off a lot of recipes for sauces and salad dressings. If I could have just dipped the broccoli in salad dressing, that would have made it better, but I didn't have any. I know all this sounds funny for a weight loss diet, but that's Atkins. We have been fed a line of bull about low fat diets. I try not to go overboard on what I am eating, but they encourage you to eat good fats for satiety. And I am losing weight. When I am ready to go to the next phase (after I have completed at least 2 weeks), I can add more carbs, but not too much. It's working, so I am not going to argue with success. The good thing is, my appetite is just not that big eating like this.
That's it for tonight. I think I am going to walk down to my new gym and pick up my membership card. I will take Cas and just carry him while I go in to get the card. He will enjoy the walk.
Just to show you how my thinking goes sometimes, after writing the above, I gave some thought to how my body is really feeling. Yes, I am sore from the new exercises I have been doing. Other than that, I really was not hurting any more than usual. If I wait until I quit hurting, I won't get anywhere. So I did the Walk & Firm video and did fine with it. I implemented the tweaks my yoga instructor showed me (tightening my abs and tucking my bottom while doing all the other moves is the hardest thing to remember), and I felt good. The only significant struggle I have is on lunges when the left leg is back. I really feel the sciatica then. However, because of the way my YI showed me to position my feet and widen my stance, it felt a lot better than last time.
I now see how supremely important it is for us to keep moving as we get older. I think more pain in our backs and joints comes from that than most anything. Stretching is especially beneficial. We need to be stretching every day no matter how old we are.
My new habit I am working on of cleaning 30 consecutive minutes a day is going well. I am amazed at how much better my loft is looking just this week. Of course, I always did chores here and there, picking up after myself, washing my dishes, etc., but devoting the 30 minutes without stopping a day is making a big difference. I am getting things like sweeping and mopping and vacuuming, etc. done more consistently already. This, along with the cleaning I do on weekends, should keep things in much better shape. Plus, since things are looking better, I work harder at maintaining than I do when I am feeling overwhelmed. I was tired last night and wanted to blow it off, but I did it for me. I feel so much better when things are clean, orderly and pretty. :)
On the agenda tonight is a yoga workout. There is a short yoga workout on the end of my Arms of Steel video, so I am going to do that. I feel a little apprehensive about it, but really, I just have to do what I can do and no more. That doesn't mean I don't push myself a little, but if something is too hard, I modify it to my level. That from my yoga instructor. She keeps telling me I am really more flexible than a lot of people. And I showed her the balance exercise that is on my Walk & Firm video and she said I had much more balance than most "new yogi's." That is good to know. I will be finding one yoga class to go to at my new gym next week so I can ask my instructor any necessary questions at my last appointment.
My daughter just called. She continues to have concerning symptoms and says she feels suspiciously like she did last summer after she had the first obstruction and before the second one (which was actually the first never being fixed properly). This makes my stress want to rise significantly, but that will do me no good. I have to release it and just take things as they come.
My backup at work is doing things that are bothering me. She has access to my boss' e-mail, and instead of allowing me to be the one to report on things that come in when he is busy with other matters, she jumps in and does it herself. It feels like she is invading my territory. I don't like feeling this way, but I do. I would never do that with the attorney she works for.
I had another massage appointment today. I am learning more and more. If you have pain issues, I suggest you find someone who understands myofascial release. I just know I am feeling better and better and learning why all these things are helping me. The fascia of the body (which is the connective tissue all over your body, including your skull) tightens up over time and squeezes the muscles, nerves, organs, etc. and causes pain. Scar tissue builds in the fascial system, so when injuries occur, it affects the fascial system. I know before I started all this, I had a very tight feeling all over. My body is starting to feel more loose and open and, as a result, pain is decreasing. I am going to order a book that teaches me what to do at home (my MT also tells me stretches to do). I am determined to get better and stay better. This stretching has to be a way of life and I would rather be able to do it myself, as much as possible. She was telling me my left hip is higher than the other one. I asked her what caused it and she mentioned ways you sit that begin to form holding patterns. Crossing your legs can do it, as well as one leg stretched out ahead of the other. I am trying to be careful of the way I sit, but also want to learn how to release that area each day so that it does not create a problem. At my desk, I tend to pull my feet back under my chair and cross my feet, left over right. I can see how that right there would lift the left hip. Also the way I sit in my recliner at home.
After writing all of the above, my daughter called and said she was tanking at work and was going to the doctor at 2:15. She did not feel she should drive because of the way she was feeling, so I went and got her and took her to the doctor. She is just not bouncing back from this last surgery. No real answers yet. She was in tears as she talked to the doctor, she is just so frustrated, which made me tear up. After that, I had to get back to work, so got back at 4:30 and worked until 7:30. I just got home and got me some dinner, when she came over to get something. She stayed until 10:00 talking about her situation, including the conflict she is having with her sister. So I did not get my yoga workout done last night. Sometimes life just happens.
My heart is heavy about Stephanie. She just wants to feel better and get on with her life (and not have this keep happening). And I am frustrated about the situation with my daughters. I won't say more than that here. I'm just trying not to hold on to the stress this creates. Breathe and release.... And pray.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
I was kind of empty when I got up this morning, but I wasn't really hungry. I didn't eat anything before my workout and felt fine. My weight is starting to drop a little each morning. Yay!
My chapter from The Beck Diet Solution day before yesterday was to set reasonable goals. She recommended that your goals be 5 pounds apiece. When you reach that, set another 5-pound goal. And reward yourself each time you reach your goal. That way you don't get discouraged by looking at how long getting to your ultimate goal is going to take. I am .4 pound from my first 5-pound goal. I'm not sure what the reward should be. My chapter yesterday was to learn to recognize true hunger, vs. desire and craving. So I will be working on that. Right now I am moderately hungry. My stomach is gnawing, but I don't have any real craving and no desire to eat just to eat. I'm liking this program.
Breakfast this morning (a little later after writing the above) was bacon and a 2-egg omelet with a little minced onion mixed in (the dehydrated kind) and some sharp cheddar cheese. This was so good! I only added the onion because it caught my eye in the cabinet and I thought I would see how it tasted. I actually liked this a lot better than the frittata the last few days.
I did join the gym yesterday. I signed up by e-mail, so haven't been by there yet. Probably won't make it before the weekend, but maybe tomorrow or Friday evening. I'm feeling pretty tired today, and want an evening without somewhere to go. However, I do plan my 10-minute AOS workout this evening.
It is 10:20 a.m., along about the time I usually have a snack bar. So I am trying to assess my hunger. I'm not hungry at all. I must confess, I think sometimes the reason I have a snack bar when I do is because I like the way they taste. Some of them are pretty good, and they helped with the carb cravings, even though they were low carb. Right now, I am not really hungry and I could take or leave anything, so I will leave it for now. When I get hungry, I will have one. I think I have probably switched over fully from burning carbs to burning fat. You are supposed to be much less hungry then.
Okay, I did have a snack bar at around 11:30, because I was hungry. I ate it, and 30 minutes later, I am really hungry! I don't know if it's the snack bar, or if my hunger was just a delayed reaction. At least it is almost lunchtime.
I didn't feel much like doing my concentrated cleaning during lunch today. Although I did a couple of things, I will save the 30 uninterrupted minutes for this evening. I'm feeling tired. Lunch was sautéed cabbage with sausage. I didn't have as much sausage as I needed, so I added a little bacon too. Usually when I have made sautéed cabbage before, it was when I was on a virtually no extra fat diet. This way is much better. :) I wonder how much damage that no extra fat diet really was doing. Actually it was fairly low carb too -- it was a pretty extreme diet.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
I did everything on my Victory List today. This included an AOS (Arms of Steel) workout. I did the first one on the video, which a lot of the time used your own resistance, with a little work with hand weights. This was not overly hard, but challenging enough. It was 10 minutes long. I also felt it working my chest and upper back, and even my abs. I will do it maybe 6 times before moving on. There is an arm slimming 5-minute workout that I might either add to it or alternate days on (2 days on one, 2 days on another). Is that too much arm work? I would like my arms to look better by October, although I know they won't truly look good until I lose more weight. But at least I can get them more toned so that as the fat is lost, they will be looking good and any loose skin can be filled in a little better with muscle.
The last workout on AOS was a yoga workout. Maybe I will use that for now for the other yoga workout (besides my class). She uses some of the same moves I have been learning, and I'm sure I will be learning more of what is on this video at my upcoming lessons. Looks like good stretching. I also want to get one specifically for my back. And I want to look like those girls on the video -- long and lean. Not to compare myself to them. I just want to be my best self with the body I have. I will likely be a little curvier than them, although some of my curves were surgically removed. :)
I got my 30 minutes of cleaning done. As I often do, once I get going, I go longer because I get on a roll. But I just want to build consistency of working those 30 minutes a day at first, and if I do more, that's a bonus.
My lower back was hurting last night and I took a muscle relaxant. Consequently, I overslept a little. I hate that! I bet you're thinking I didn't get my workout done. That would be wrong. :) Within 15 minutes of opening my eyes, I was starting my Walk & Firm video and did the whole thing. Actually I cut the cool-down short, just a little, because I knew I would be walking Cas next. I notice as I am doing this video how much pain and stiffness I have in my left hip and quad. When I sat down after my workout, I could tell that is coming from the lower back. Something to talk to my MT and YI (yoga instructor) about. I've been noticing how very stiff and sore my hips always are. I know what that will mean. More of those hip stretches that don't feel very good, but that's why we have to do them. If I don't stretch them, they will never get better. I'm going to do some stretching outside of my appointments, except a little less intense, to try to help them along.
Time to get moving.
Breakfast this morning was the last of the frittata and some sausage patties. I drank a good bit of water before leaving home today, so I am ahead of the game (at least what I usually do).
I forgot to say yesterday that my feet are doing better. They don't feel too good when I am barefoot, which is seldom, but after wearing my athletic shoes with inserts all day Sunday, they were feeling a lot better, and even more this morning. My MT showed me a stretch to do for that too.
I have been trying to pay attention to the little things I leave out and accumulate over the week which contribute to a less than clean looking home. I am trying to put up my stuff before going to bed and before leaving for work. The realization about being overwhelmed is a revelation. I don't mind cleaning someone else's house, that is already in pretty decent shape, nearly as much as cleaning my own. That is because cleaning mine usually starts from a mess instead of maintaining a relatively clean and orderly home. With mine, I feel overwhelmed, so I just sit and watch TV sometimes (which, of course, is a vicious circle). I also recognize this from family gatherings. After a big holiday meal, a lot of people would pitch in and do the kitchen cleanup. You would think that would help me, but it actually overwhelms me because I don't know what to do. In recent years, I started trying to start cleanup before everyone else so I could snag a job to be mine and only mine -- like manning the sink. This helped me a lot. I got criticized by my stepmother one time for leaving work for everyone else, but that was why. There were already too many people in the kitchen, so I would go elsewhere in the house and pick up, like put away bedding, etc. She didn't know that; she just knew I wasn't there in the kitchen. That's when I started trying to snag an early job. But it was all because I felt overwhelmed with too many people trying to do one job.
When I was reading over the weekend about chronic disorganization, a couple of articles said that obesity and chronic disorganization are often tied together. In other words, many people who struggle with one, struggle with the other. I know that is not always true, by a long shot. But I always thought I was just lazy and there has always been much shame associated with my housekeeping. But this article was not painting it in that light. Many of the emotional things obese people struggle with also are the root cause of the chronic disorganization. Such as depression. And it is very common when people are trying to lose weight that they want to overcome in this area too. For me, I think one root of my bad housekeeping is it is a way for me to hide. It keeps people away. I am too ashamed to have people over, and since I already tend to isolate myself, it is another barrier. It can actually be a cushion of my own making. A way of closing myself off from other people. But I don't want to be closed off anymore, so I want to overcome both of the things that keep people at arm's length. Does that make sense? Of course, when it gets down to it, changing in both areas boils down to developing new habits and the choices you make each day. That is what I am working on.
Someone shared an excellent article on Facebook this morning. It talked about inflammation and its effect on your body. It shows me I am on the right track, and it also comports with my own experience. In 2009, I lost 60 something pounds. I was working out almost every day and sometimes two and three times a day. I was basically following a low-fat diet. When I had my annual checkup late in the year, I was 1 point below being diabetic for the first time ever. My blood sugar had jumped significantly during that year. The only weight loss efforts that have worked for me longer term were to stop eating sugar. I needed to carry it further with other simple carbs and processed foods, but I lost significant weight and kept it off for quite a while by not eating sweets. I have done a lot of reading about the danger of the low fat diet, and this explains it very well. I need to do some tweaking and make sure I am not using any of the wrong oils, at all (I mostly use olive oil and butter). I also need to start eating grass fed beef and naturally raised poultry and pork, etc. and watch the preservatives. After menopause is when many women start having heart problems, so it is very important I get this straightened out now. And Alzheimer's is prevalent in my family, and he even mentions that in this article. I'm feeling good about what I am doing. As I go, I will tighten up on the other areas. I am in the process of getting off grains (haven't had any in a week), so when I start adding more carbs back in, I want them to be from starchy vegetables and fruit most of the time, instead of anything processed.
I made a decision today. I used to belong to a nice fitness club downtown. It is where I worked out faithfully in 2009-2010. We have a discounted rate through our firm at almost half what an individual would pay. Since I am going to want to continue yoga classes after my instruction, and I want access to a pool where I can swim laps, and for other reasons, I have decided to rejoin the Texas Club. I have a good mental association with this place. I probably will not do morning workouts here (like I did then), because I have my dog to take care of, but I can go for after-work workouts and on weekends. And for specific classes. It is only $40 per month and I would likely pay that much for yoga classes a lot further away. If I'm going to spend my money anywhere, I want to spend it on getting healthier. I will give some thought to going there for my morning workouts, since that is when I have historically been the most faithful about doing workouts, but I would have to get up a lot earlier and I already get up at 5:00 a.m. And if I am going up there to do a recumbent bike workout, for instance, I might as well do it at home.
Lunch today was a salad with grilled chicken, romaine lettuce, baby spinach, broccoli, zucchini, avocado and blue cheese dressing. It tasted just okay today. I don't know why. I did my 30 minutes of cleaning while home for lunch. I have yoga tonight, so I wanted to make sure I got it done. I would actually like to get a little more done this evening, but at least I have done my minimum.
My muscle relaxant from last night is catching up with me. Very sleepy.... Actually I decided I was carb crashing again (but I didn't do anything about it). I was feeling shaky and weak for a few minutes, as well as very sleepy. But it passed after a while. I didn't really have anything I could eat, anyway.
For dinner I had a "hamburger" with a lettuce bun. I put the ground sirloin, pepper jack cheese, onion and avocado between lettuce leaves. I different kind of lettuce might have worked better, but it was good. That was all I ate.
Then I went to yoga. I told her what I had been doing and she wanted to see different moves in my routines. She showed me how to better do some of them so I got more good out of them and didn't hurt my back. They made a lot of difference. We did a few more new stretches. I have two more lessons and she wanted me to try going to a class at Texas Club before my last one so I could let her know if I had any questions. Once again, it was a very positive experience and I was glad I went.
I have a little more to do to finish my Victory List, so better get this posted.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Well, I just posted and once again I have more to say. I was watching Extreme Weight Loss and the girl on this episode said something that I instantly knew was true of me. When she felt overwhelmed, she shut down and did nothing a lot of the time. I do that. That's what is going on with my exercise right now and that is what has been going on for years with my house cleaning issues. So I need to develop the "just do something" mentality when I feel like that. I do sometimes. For instance, sometimes if all I can do is get up and work during some commercials, I do that. But I also think I need to start working on one habit at a time and build on that. I think the first one with house cleaning is the deal of working 30 consecutive minutes a day. It doesn't matter what I work on, but it helps when I put 30 minutes together instead of breaking it up into too many smaller time slots. So that is the first habit I am going to work on. I just need to remember this.
For exercise, I am going to work on getting 5 workouts a week done, each weekday morning. If all I can do is 15 minutes, then I will do 15 minutes. Most of the time I will keep going if I have gotten started. But I have to give myself permission to do that if it's feeling overwhelming.
I'm having headaches today, but they feel different. I think they are probably more about my body throwing off stuff than the usual.
Goodness, it was kind of a rough night. I had told my daughter yesterday I felt like I was going through some kind of medication withdrawal. I assessed to see if I had missed any of my medication lately, and I had not, so that was not it and I didn't think much more about it. In the night, however, I started feeling very strange. I was awakened with pretty severe symptoms and couldn't go back to sleep. I finally decided I was carb crashing, which I had read about. The article I read said if that happened, rather than endure those more severe symptoms, eat some low-carb fruit. I had some frozen blackberries, so I ate some of those. I felt a little better, but still awoke again with some symptoms. I really didn't have much carbs in the house that were an easy fix. So I ate a few walnuts. I felt better after that and was able to go back to sleep. I guess that's what it was. Hopefully my body can go on now and make the total switch. The article said that this would eventually go away, but even Dr. Atkins did not recommend enduring it. Anyway, they were some very unpleasant symptoms for the middle of the night -- jittery, restless, weakness, etc.
I didn't finish counting up my carbs yesterday, but I might have gone under a little. I need to be careful not to do that. I did that another day -- only got 10 grams the whole day. That's not enough. I needed to eat more vegetables.
I did get up and do a workout today. I did 30 minutes on the recumbent bike. 5 minutes 5R, 23 minutes of 7R with some intervals of 1 minute each mixed in at 10R, then 2 minutes of 5R to cool down. I think I am going to stick to 30 minutes right now, unless I feel like doing more on any given day. Most "experts" recommend 30 minutes a day, 3-5 days a week for a minimum. Since I also want to do some strength training and my yoga on some days, I decided to do that so as not to feel so overwhelmed (and then do nothing). I watched the first two segments of my Arms of Steel video last night (I like to know what to expect before doing it the first time). The first segment of 10 minutes looks fairly doable. Even though the title is Arms of Steel, these workouts work other areas, like your chest and back. So that's good. I think it will be a good starting workout using only hand weights and/or band. I'm thinking twice a week on this until it gets easy. Then there will be yoga one night a week for my instruction, and at least one other time a week of doing the moves at home. I am planning to get a yoga video to work on this at home with a "coach". I would also like to do some leg work, and would probably do that with my Walk and Firm video, which starts with mini squats and lunges. Here is my plan (which was the task I was supposed to do with my last chapter from The Beck Diet Solution):
Cardio – Recumbent Bike
Toning – Arms of Steel
Cardio/Toning – Walk & Firm
Cardio – Recumbent Bike
Toning – Arms of Steel
Cardio/Toning – Walk & Firm
Yoga (at home)
Cardio – Recumbent Bike
Optional: Hike or Bike Ride (will do more as weather cools)
The relaxation I am talking about on Friday night is a deliberate "exercise" to try to release stress and relax (like what I attempted last week). This week it might be spending some time in the hot tub at my lofts, if the weather is not so hot it would make it unpleasant. Otherwise I will try what I did last time again (this time no smoke alarm and the cat closed up in the other bathroom, where I can't hear him). :) Sometime over the weekend I think I will try to get a pedicure too. Sometimes that is not the most relaxing thing to get to, but I do enjoy them.
Breakfast this morning was leftover frittata and bacon. Snack was an Atkins snack bar.
I have switchboard duty during my usual lunch today and then massage after that, so lunch will be after that (which I will likely eat at my desk).
I got a chance to do some reading while doing switchboard duty, which was nice. Now I will want to finish the book, since I started it. I haven't been doing any reading for pleasure in a while.
The MT gave me a workover. She said I am going to be sore and to drink lots of water.
Lunch was a Chicken Caesar Salad without any croutons. Then I had another Atkins snack bar for snack. I expect dinner will be the other pork chop I cooked and leftover roasted cauliflower. The mashed cauliflower last night was so good, taste-wise, but not mashed up enough to be "creamy". Next time I will use the blender or food processor, but I was too hungry to bother. I added a little cream and some parmigiano-reggiano (so nice to be able to do this). I was pretty hungry a lot of the day yesterday (at least the latter part), and I am not today, so I hope that means I have gotten over the hump with switching over from carb burning to fat burning.
Steph is not feeling well again (having pain and nausea issues) and they are going to do a CT scan and blood tests on her tomorrow. She is so ready for this to be over. So am I. She says it does not feel like a blockage, just pain. I don't have any indication that it will, but I certainly hope it does not lead to another hospitalization. I'm so done with that situation. Or ready to be. I never will be as long as my daughter needs me. Prayers appreciated.
I also got word that my sister-in-law may have breast cancer, so they will have to be dealing with that. I don't know if they have medical insurance. Hopefully they have some kind of policy, but he is an independent contractor, so doesn't have any group insurance, I don't guess. She helps him in his work, so no insurance there either.
On the agenda tonight is 30 minutes of house cleaning (at least), Arms of Steel workout and preparing for tomorrow. There will be some reading in there somewhere too, and some sort of relaxation exercise. Too much going on and I don't want to take it on my body. Or my soul, for that matter.
Over and out.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
I've already posted, but feel the need to "talk" a little.
I'm really struggling with the issues between my two daughters. It would be so much easier if Steph was completely healthy. But a lot of what they struggle with has to do with her not feeling well a lot of the time. I see both girls' points of view and they both need to improve, but neither one seems to listen to me. I kind of wish we could get some counseling. Regardless, I have to not let this stress me out too much. They say stress is a big reason the body produces cortisol, which causes your body to store belly fat as a protection to your organs. So I need to learn to release this stress and not carry it around. I personally cannot do anything to fix this, so I cannot take this on myself. I pray that some solutions come to light in the coming months.
One opinion I have about the situation. I think my girls should not have dogs. They cannot agree on how to take care of them and the one who wants them the most is not healthy enough to give them the care they need, which is to exercise them regularly. Because of that, the dogs' behavior is creating stress. I think they are creating more problems than what joy and satisfaction they receive from them. Some animal lovers may not like what I am saying, but this is not a normal situation. Someone else could provide a better home for them and give them the care and attention they need.
I'm going to go do some relaxation exercises to try to release some of the stress I am feeling.
Well, my relaxation attempts were interesting last night. I decided to take a hot bath by candlelight, with soothing music playing. So I got everything ready and went in the bathroom and closed the door. Aaaaahhhhh. It was nice. Then the cat started meowing and scratching at the door and did that basically the whole time I was in there. (I don't know why -- I take a bath every morning with the door shut and he doesn't do that.) I continued with my bath and tried to ignore him. Then the smoke alarm went off. I had taken it off a couple of weeks ago because I was bombing for bugs. It had been on the kitchen cabinet, but I put it in the bathroom when I was cooking because I didn't want to set it off. Either the steam from the bath or the candle set it off. Oh well. I tried. Lol. I posted this story on Facebook and everyone thanked me for relieving their stress by how much laughter it produced.
I had taken my meds before bed, including a muscle relaxant. I intended to do some deep breathing while falling asleep. I started doing it, but it didn't last long. I was out. I guess that is the ultimate relaxation, though. I had weird dreams, so I must have been sleeping deeper than I sometimes sleep.
My foot is feeling a little better this morning. It's not there yet, but definitely improved. I am wearing my athletic shoes with inserts all day.
I weighed in this morning, although I just started Atkins on Tuesday. But Saturday would be my normal weigh-in. I've lost 2.6 pounds since Tuesday. So hopefully it is getting started. From what I have read, the first 3 days are tough, and you experience a lot of side effects in days 4-6, but after the first week you should start feeling better and seeing big results. I hope so.
I was dragging this morning and having some sugar cravings. I made a lovely frittata for breakfast -- diced onion, Anaheim pepper, asparagus and mushrooms, sautéed in olive oil and butter, with some adobo seasoning. To that I added 8 eggs, seasoned with Adobo seasoning and pepper. I let that set just a little and put 4 slices of sharp cheddar cheese on top and put the whole thing in the oven to finish setting up. 15 minutes at 350 degrees and it was ready. It was set, by not browned. It was very good. One-fourth of that was a serving. I had that with some breakfast sausage. But later in the morning I was dragging and craving sugar. I had a Total Zero Red Bull and my Atkins snack bar a little later, and that helped. I figure that is better than falling off the wagon. Hopefully these cravings will decrease.
I did get up and walk Cas first thing. I didn't want to, but I knew it would be too hot as it got later, so I did it then. He certainly needs it. He gets a lot more exercise when the weather is not so hot.
Otherwise, I'm getting some work done around the loft. I don't really want to go anywhere and I want to get things spiffied up, including de-cluttering and down sizing, so I have more peace and can rest. So that's the plan for today.
I did go out to lunch/dinner with my girls. I told them I didn't want to leave downtown because once I get out, I have trouble getting back to it when I get home. So we went to Iron Cactus, which is just across the street and down a little bit from my loft. I ordered shrimp stuffed with cheese and jalapenos and wrapped in bacon. There were four of them. Instead of the rice and beans that usually comes with it, I asked for a side salad with jalapeno ranch dressing. The shrimp also came with sautéed onions and peppers. It was all delicious. The highest carb thing on that plate was the onions and peppers. Those added up to about 5.1 carbs. Next time I will eat half of them, but they were delicious!
Later I had another Atkins snack bar. All of my meals were pushed later than usual. I had some cheese later and was debating whether to eat anything else. I added up my carbs and I had gone over by 1 (which I am not going to worry about), but I knew that limited what else I could eat. I did get a little hungry so I ate a ground sirloin patty I had cooked earlier before I knew I was going to eat with my daughters. No carbs in that.
I got quite a bit done today, so that was good. I still have more to do, though.
My feet were sore again this morning (both of them). But first thing in the morning is always the worst time. I ended up wearing my flip-flops part of the day yesterday, after we went to eat, and that was a mistake. I will not do that today. I also plan to do a little icing and stretching today. I walked Cas with my athletic shoes on and they didn't bother me much then. I did not want to get out and walk. It was later than usual and I figured it would already be pretty hot. But I got out and it was so beautiful outside. I rarely see the wind so calm, and it was mild and very beautiful. I'm glad I went and Cas appreciated it.
The scale was down a little more this morning. I hope I am on my way now. Now to get back with regular exercise this week. My lesson in The Beck Diet Solution was to decide on an exercise plan and to write it down to make yourself more accountable. I will post that tomorrow.
I had leftover frittata and sausage again this morning. So good.
Later in the morning I had a snack bar. Those really help with cravings and only 2 grams of carbs.
I really wanted to rest up and catch up this weekend so things did not feel so overwhelming this week. Seems like I have been dragging since Steph was in the hospital and haven't fully gotten on top of my schedule (if I ever have). After the work I do this weekend, I'm going to try to do a better job of maintaining this week. I got a message this week that my rent was going to be raised 3% in the coming year. I "fought" it a little, to no avail -- everyone gets a 3% raise each year -- but they did offer some complimentary house keeping services in the coming year. So I get 2 cleanings anytime during the next year. I have been wanting to start having someone clean every month, but I feel like I need to be on top of things better for it to do much good. Things are going much better on the house training with Cas -- he consistently uses pee pads when I can't get home to take him out -- so I feel much better about that. I just have to stay up on things better, and it shouldn't be that much work. The real problem comes when you get behind. I need to use cognitive therapy techniques for this situation too. The 30 concentrated minutes a day makes a difference. Plus doing work here and there like I have always done. I don't know why it is so hard for me. Someone told me that some people are just wired differently so that organization is a much bigger challenge for them. That would be me.
On the agenda today -- mopping, carpet cleaning and cleaning bathrooms.
For lunch, I had an Atkins meal bar. I just didn't feel like cooking and making mess I had to clean up. I was afraid it wouldn't be enough, but I was busy and did fine until snack time. You are only supposed to have Atkins bars or shakes twice a day, at the most, so I had some cheese for snack. And some dill pickle spears. :)
Well, so far today I haven't done everything I planned. I did some reading about cognitive behavioral therapy for disorganization. The article I found talked about hoarding. I am not a hoarder. But I did a little more reading and I have what they called chronic disorganization or challenged disorganization. It is not a mental condition, but a behavioral thing and basically you just have to learn new habits. There are many causes, a couple of which I recognized. Anyway, I spent some time going through the drawers in my bedroom and closet and purging. I will keep working all evening.
I ran across something while I was doing this. I found a CD and I wanted to find out what was on it to see if I could throw it out. It was a series of pictures that were taken of me in 2006. I remember why, but the why is not the issue. The pictures made me want to cry, to tell you the truth. I remember that woman and how much she hurt. But I can also rejoice, because that woman has healed so much and has come so far. Anyway, here is one of those pictures.
It is very hard to look at for me. This brings me to my second reason for wanting to lose weight, which I illustrated with pictures in my notebook. I am reading these over at least twice a day and the pictures help me remember those reasons more vividly. My second reason is: "I want to win this battle I have fought my whole life."
I have always hated that first picture. I was in 6th grade. To tell you the truth, I have a hard time loving that little girl. I did not like her and I have always been very unforgiving of her. That needs to change. The second reminds me that I was not as big as I thought I was as a teenager. I was 14 in that picture, I think. The third one is after the birth of my first baby, my son. The last one was in 2007 -- I've kind of used it as my before picture, but now I have more with those I found today.
Okay, I'm going to close this and cook myself some dinner. The plan is a pork chop and some mashed roasted cauliflower. I think I'll have some green beans with that if I have enough carbs left. I should.
I'm on my way.
Friday, August 23, 2013
I have updated my weight chart for the start of Atkins. It hurts, because I have worked harder than this. I was 5 pounds lower than this after the first week of my DietBet challenge, but my body wasn't responding to anything I was doing after that and I even gained weight. But I was not overeating and was exercising fairly regularly. Pretty frustrating. But it is what it is and this is where I am starting. I expect to be on my merry way now. :)