The report on how I did on Thanksgiving is not good for Thanksgiving Day. But I did plan on having one day to enjoy Thanksgiving and then get right back to it. So I did what I planned, and that is a good thing.
I hosted Thanksgiving Dinner for my daughter's fiance and his family, so we had 10 people. Everything went really well, all the food turned out very well, and we had a good time visiting and playing games. It was a good day.
I had been pretty hit and miss leading up to Thanksgiving. The good news is, I have pulled it together quite well since Thanksgiving Day. The next day I did not do well by Atkins standards, but I stayed away from sweets and my portions were fine. Saturday and Sunday I did really well. I am following a plan to do some catching up and have done well so far. My goal is to be down 15 pounds from my lowest by the time I go back to the doctor in January. That would put my weight somewhere around 232 by then. I will have to work very hard for that to happen. I've got my motivation pictures (Mother of the Bride dresses) propped up on my desk for a constant reminder.
Life has been quite busy. First there was getting ready for a houseful on Thanksgiving. Then we immediately had to start packing for the move the next day (packing, not moving). I am making good progress. We also got out and did some Christmas shopping, and then I immediately did my wrapping as soon as the gifts were purchased. We are also working hard at keeping things picked up and clean around the loft -- there are too many people, too many pets and too much stuff in it to leave clutter laying around. I am anxious to get the move done and get settled before Christmas.
This morning was not without its trials. Someone brought fun size candy bars and left them in the mail room, so every time I walk by, they tempt me. I have held off -- keeping my mind on my goal.
I was sitting in an office with my boss and a young associate later. The associate was talking about having pecan pie for breakfast and banana pudding at around 10:30 a.m., leftovers from Thanksgiving (of course, he is as trim as he needs to be), and my boss talked about having pecan pie last night late. I said that sounded good because my breakfast this morning was an Atkins shake (kind of yucky). He said, "well that is how you are getting so skinny." That made me feel good and strengthened my resolve, so I am holding firm with my plan today.
I had ordered a sweater and a pair of pants last week and they came in today. I got a 14/16 in the sweater. That may be kind of tight right now, but that gave me further motivation to stick with it. My motivation is starting to come back after the busyness and distractions of the last couple of weeks. I hope this plan will keep me moving between now and Christmas. I do plan to indulge a little on Christmas, but not between. My plan is to work hard between now and then, have the one day to indulge (to a degree), and then back to it the day after. No giving up the whole time between Thanksgiving and Christmas with plans to get back to it after New Years. I will not reach my goal (or get anywhere near it) if I do that. In fact, I would backtrack.
Unfortunately, my pain levels are not improving. Not to be negative, but if there is not vast improvement, I am coming to believe there will be back surgery next year. There is a lot of time between now and then, so that could definitely change, but it is getting more and more difficult to live with this amount and degree of pain. I don't want to live like this. I will keep trying and hoping weight loss will make the difference, but if not, it is certainly a possibility in my mind.
I am also having trouble with my shoulders. I had this secret fear that my neck was messing up again because the pain in my shoulders and arms is similar to when the nerve was so pinched before the fusion surgery. But it is not as bad. However, my most recent x-ray shows the fusion is as it should be and no additional levels are collapsing. I am wondering if I have rotator cuff problems. If this pain continues, that is something else I will be checking out after the first of the year. You can see why, at times, I feel like one big ball of pain. It is getting to where I need more medication to get to sleep some nights. That means I have to go without, sometime during the day, but I would rather endure it for a while during the day and be able to take enough to help the pain enough to sleep than the other way around. I always try to get to sleep on the usual dose, but if I cannot, I want the option to be able to take the extra. It is all getting very old.
It is now 5:20. I'm feeling pretty hungry, but it is so close to time to go home that I am thinking, "I can do this!" I can make it until 6:00. I talked to my daughter about having a vegetable ready when I get home to have with some leftover Pesto Chicken. She promised to have it ready when I get home. :) That is an arrangement I could get used to.
My eating today so far has been an Atkins shake for breakfast, 2 cheese sticks, an Atkins shake for lunch and an apple. I am eating this way, at least some days, to jump start my weight loss. My hunger tends to build on me, though, so some days I will likely eat more than that. Another reason I am doing this is it is a method I read about on a blog to get off of sugar (by someone who has an even bigger sensitivity and addiction to sugar than I do). I have been eating sugar for the past month or so and it was starting to get to be too much of a "habit," so time to nip that in the bud. At this point, I do plan to eat some on Christmas, but I will decide for sure when I get closer. I may not want to risk triggering anything by doing that. But if I am successful this time, it gives me more confidence that I can do it that one day and that's all. I can't eat it regularly, or I will fall into old traps, but perhaps I can eat it once in a great while in this scenario. I will have to see how well I do.
I think I will get this posted, or I am likely not to get it done later. Things are too busy right now.