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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

More About Forgiveness

I thought I posted yesterday -- this is Monday's post.

I started out the morning with my usual struggles about working out.  However, today I did not argue with myself.  I told myself "NO CHOICE" and just did it.  That's what I need to do every day.  I did 40 minutes on the recumbent bike with intervals of 7R and 12R (that's up one notch from what I had been doing).  I turned my toes inward on the 12R intervals (which are a minute each) to isolate my inner leg muscles.  I did four sets of my arm work (shoulder raises, bicep curls, tricep raises -- all with 5-pound dumbbells in each hand, and butterflies -- I think that's what you call these -- with 3-pound weights in each hand).  I debated over whether to do 30 minutes or 40 minutes.  I started out giving myself permission to do just 30 minutes, but as usual, when I got into it, I knew I could do 40, so did.  If I can do 40 minutes on each of the five days, plus raising my resistance, that will give me nice totals for the week.  Oh yeah, I also did 25 crunches.  I will do the rest of the ab work this evening.

The best thing I can do when I get up in the morning is get my headache under control, if that is a problem.  It is 95% of the time, unfortunately.  If I can get it under control, facing my workout is much easier.  Sometimes it doesn't stop until I get into my workout, though.

Did anyone watch last week's Biggest Loser?  That is what I have been watching during my workouts.  It might have been the week before, but I was watching the recording, so I'm not sure.  Anyway, they had a segment in there about forgiveness.  One woman had a very abusive upbringing and she had a lot of unforgiveness toward her family, both for the abuse and toward other family members for not rescuing her from the abuse.  Dolvett told her that that unforgivness would hamper her success both in the house and throughout her life.  I thought the timing on that was so interesting.  I can't remember the other scenario, but I saw another story (can't remember if I read it or saw it on TV) where they were talking about forgiveness and how unforgiveness is toxic to you.  I think God is trying to tell me something!  Dolvett had this lady write a letter to her mother, who had abused her, her other family, who had not rescued her, and she took it upon herself to write a letter to herself because she had been so unforgiving of herself in a certain situation.  I can relate to that.  I do not know if he had her mail any of the letters -- I kind of doubt it.  I know she did not mail the one to her mother, because her mother was deceased.  The forgiveness was for her own healing, even though her mother would never get the message.  I'm going to do this in each situation I feel I am holding unforgiveness (and not mail the letter; this is just for my own healing and release).

I'm trying to watch my calorie intake even further this week.  I usually eat something when I first get up because I need something in my stomach when I take my medication, and I feel a little weak during my workout if my stomach is empty.  This morning I ate a cheese stick for starters.  I still felt a little hungry before my workout, so I ate two celery sticks.  Less calories, but helped fill my tummy.

Last night I made my Ham & Swiss Pie.  I made enough for all five days of this week (actually made 6 servings), so I don't have to take time to cook breakfast during the week.  (I hope to get to the gym at least a couple of mornings this week.)  This time I sauteed some sliced mushrooms and added that to the mixture.  So, breakfast this morning was a slice of Ham & Swiss Pie.  I again felt like I was not quite satisfied with that, so I ate a couple of more celery sticks.  I didn't want to repeat my recent behavior of eating what I had brought for later right when I got to work.  And I did not do that this morning.

"Lunch" was 2 dill pickle spears, each wrapped with a slice of sharp cheddar and a slice of smoked turkey luncheon meat.  I also had about 3/4 of a serving of smoked almonds.  I bought a larger bag of almonds, and to discourage overdoing on them, I divided up servings in snack-size ziploc bags.  I could tell the one I picked up to bring today was the last one I filled, which was a few short of a whole serving.  This amount of "lunch" felt just right and the calorie content is reasonable.  That will hold me until dinner.

Later

I have been holed up in an office with Jerry all afternoon (actually since 10:30 this morning, except for a break at lunch) and now that I am done, I realize I am hungry.  Good thing it is after 5:30.  Whew!

I felt too hungry to wait to cook something when I got home, so I ate the extra serving of Ham & Swiss Pie and some almonds for dinner.  I should have had a vegetable, but never did.  I did my leg lifts before going to bed, but that was all I got done.

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