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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Done, Just Done

Goodness, I feel stressed to the max today.  Some of it, I probably should not be dealing with, but it is so hard for me, when one of my kids has a problem that was not their fault, to not help them out with it.

That was this morning.  My day was packed until now, 8:11 p.m., when I finally have a little time to think.  I am done, just done.  Things seem to be coming at me from every side and I just want to crawl in a hole for a little while.  But I don't have that luxury.

I didn't get a real meal today.  Breakfast was bacon.  That's it -- just bacon.  I was going to get some eggs when I got to work, but didn't have a chance.  "Lunch" was some cashews and some celery with cream cheese.  Dinner (so far) was what you would call pulled pork nachos, without the tortilla chips.  I need to do more than that, but I am just too tired.  Maybe I'll make myself a little salad.

I did try to do some deep breathing during the day to try to de-stress.

Biz, concerning your comment on yesterday's post, I DO have a nice boss.  But he does tend to get a blind spot where people's time is concerned.  Like the night my daughter was in the ER beginning at about 5:00 p.m. and he kept me until after midnight and then I had to go meet her there.  And another night I worked until 3:00 in the morning when Steph was in the hospital.  But, in spite of that being an issue sometimes, he makes up for it in so many other ways.  He asks a lot of me, but he gives a lot in return.  And, as you know, this is just part of litigation -- sometimes you have to burn the midnight oil.  There are people who want to get mad at him for me, but most of the time, he treats me very well and I don't feel that way at all.

I need my kids to be more independent.  And I need to talk to them about putting themselves in a place where they can be more independent -- like having money in savings.  At some point, I need to not be called for everything that goes wrong.  One reason I was so stressed this morning was I have been called upon by too many people to help solve their issues.  To come up with an answer.  I am so tired of being the one who is supposed to have all the answers.  Something's got to change.

That's all I've got.  I know it's not very inspiring, but it does help me to be able to talk it out.

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