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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Trudging Forward

Being direct with people and telling them something they don't want to hear doesn't come easily to me.  I am merciful to the max and my tendency is to want to soothe instead of confront.  But when the price of not speaking the truth is 100 times worse than their reaction, you have no choice but to say what needs to be said, if you really care about something.  I am having to learn a new kind of strength.  And I am learning that boundaries are not only important for me, but they need to be modeled for the benefit of certain others.  I certainly don't want things to continue as they are.  Something obviously is not working.  So I have to stay strong and keep speaking the truth.  It's tough.

Day 3 of withdrawal from Red Bulls.  I have a powerful caffeine headache this morning.  I am drinking part of a DDP to try to head it off as I wean myself away from the caffeine.  A little better than the Diet Coke, but I am in no danger of getting hooked on these again either.

I got up and did my 30-minute recumbent bike workout.  I did 30 minutes at a resistance of 5, with 6 1-minute intervals at a resistance of 10.  My legs were sore and tired this morning from the yoga workout last night.  It felt tough at the beginning, but with the intervals, I was literally done before I knew it.

Breakfast was my usual 2-egg cheese omelet with some sausage on the side.  I didn't bring anything for a snack, so have not eaten anything.  I could go downstairs and get some almonds or something, but I think I am good until lunchtime.

My weight is still being a little bit stubborn.  I hope more workouts this week will push me along.  I was saying yesterday that I wish I had a doggie daycare to drop Cas off at on my way to the gym.  I feel bad leaving him all day and then going to the gym at night, but I have to do what is best for me.  I'm going to have to figure out the best way to handle this.  There are yoga classes I could go to on Monday and Wednesday mornings at 6:15 a.m. The biggest thing is to get back home, walk Cas, and then get back home in time to get ready.  I think if I prepare ahead of time -- pack my lunch, my bag for work, make breakfast in advance, etc., I can get it done.  I don't think there is any advantage to staying at the gym and getting ready for work there.  I would rather do it at home, and Cas needs to be walked.

I will have to see how good of a workout the yoga classes are before I decide if I will have to do cardio on days that I do yoga.  Maybe one yoga class a week is enough, supplemented with doing stuff at home.  I think that is probably the better plan.  The other class I want to take at the gym is an Aqua Zumba class.  It is on 2 Mondays of the month (in September, the 3rd and 5th) at 5:45 p.m.  I would have to ask my boss to let me go by 5:15 to do that.  I need time to walk to the gym (a couple of blocks) and get changed into my swimsuit.  I'll have to see if that is workable.  I might need to get to work earlier on those days, so that means I couldn't do both the yoga class and the aqua zumba class on the same day.

I was wondering how often you should do yoga to really do some good, and it is recommended to do it 3 times a week if you really want to make progress.  But I think 1 class a week, plus 2 sessions at home would do it, don't you think?  And I do want to make progress.  I think this kind of thing, along with weight loss, is going to help my back more than anything.

I googled "Low Carb Diet:  Why am I not losing more weight?" or something like that.  I found a list of reasons.  The first one on the list I think is my "problem."  Losing weight on a low carb diet (probably any diet) is not linear.  You lose some, you gain a little, you lose some more, you stay the same, etc., etc.  That is if you weigh on a daily basis.  Just because you are not losing weight doesn't mean you are not losing fat.  You have to pay attention to other things -- how your clothes fit and how you feel.  And I do feel like I am getting smaller, slowly.  So I need to not worry about it if the scale is not showing a drop as often as I would like.  That does not mean I am not making progress.

I am quite sleepy today.  Of course, the old temptation is either to eat sweets or drink a Red Bull.  I'm not going to do either one of those.

My boss called into his office about that time and we stayed in there working quite a while.  I began to feel that restless feeling that feels like withdrawal, but since I knew it wasn't that, I knew it was probably carb crash.  I needed a snack, but there wasn't much I could do about it at the time.  It is so uncomfortable to feel like that and to have to sit there and work.

In a while, he went to meet with two other attorneys and I found some cheese in the fridge and had a couple of cheese sticks.  That held me off, anyway.  I worked a little late, but got home before 7:00.  I had made no plans for dinner and I was pretty hungry.  I thawed out a piece of steak and made some cabbage.  However, I ended up not getting the steak done enough and nothing was tasting good to me.  I ended up giving a lot of the steak to Cas.  I ate some nuts and some cheese later.  It felt like I ate less today, but I don't know.

That's it for tonight.  I need to get some more groceries, but hopefully I have enough to make it to the weekend.

Happy hump day!


  1. I guess if you don't know exactly how many calories you are eating it would be hard to know how you are going to lose weight - whether you do Atkins, or whatever, it does boil down to calories in - 3500 calories = 1 pound, so reducing 3500 calories over the course of a week will show a 1 pound loss.

    Then again, so many variables, water intake, etc. Wish it were simpler!

    Good job on kicking the red bulls to the curb!:D

    1. I took a look at my calories today and they need some tweaking. I think I can make some fairly small changes and they will be in a better range.


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