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Friday, August 9, 2013

Time to Break That Addiction


I was working on a post yesterday, but didn’t get it posted.  So here is what Thursday was about:

Thursday

It’s been a busy day so far.  It is almost 3:30, and this is the first chance I have had to get some thoughts down.

I felt slightly more rested when I got up this morning, but was still dragging later in the day – as in my eyes crossing while I am looking at the computer screen because I am sleepy.  I set my alarm for 30 minutes earlier this morning, so it went off at 5:00 a.m.  I do that with the intention of lying there a few minutes before I have to actually get up.  I got up at about 5:20, I think.  I did a few things before taking Cas out to walk.  It is still pretty dark at 6:00 a.m but, of course, there are plenty of people out and about.  I walked Cas and got my workout done – 37 minutes on the recumbent bike.  I tried to talk myself out of it again and just didn’t listen.  It is non-negotiable on a weekday.

The scale is still being stubborn.  I will be surprised if I make my DietBet goal.  But it is not for lack of effort.  I have eaten pretty much on track the whole 28 days and have gotten more exercise this month than I have in a while.  I don’t know why I am plateauing – do we ever really know?  It’s frustrating, but it does not make me want to quit.  One way or another, I am going to get this done.  I don’t know if I need to eat more or not.  If I don’t have a good loss by the end of the week, I am going to try a week of upping my calories to what DietBet said mine should be.

I had thought when I got up that I would have a more regular day, food-wise.  I was pretty hungry yesterday.  But I got to work and did not fix myself anything at home.  My usual breakfast “out” would be a Potbelly breakfast sandwich, which has 10 points.  I was pretty hungry when I got up and I ate a couple of slices of RF cheese before my workout.  That added up to 3 points, so I didn’t want to spend 10 more points at breakfast.  I still had protein bars, so I had one of those (these are 7 points).  I also had a peach.  I got done with my massage at around Noon and I wasn’t really very hungry, so I decided to just have another protein bar instead of something “out”.  I can’t go home for lunch on days when I get a massage.  I did get hungry mid-afternoon, so had some Greek yogurt.  I also had another peach. (I got the best peaches at Wal-Mart this time.  They are juicy and sweet and just right.  Yum!)

I got my massage and it was fantastic, as usual.  It hurts, but you feel so good afterword – so loose and relaxed.  She was talking about in our society we want a quick fix, so if something hurts, we want to take a pill or have surgery, or something like that.  She was saying if we would pay attention to our bodies and notice when we are getting out of balance and stretch daily, we would have a lot less pain and physical issues to deal with.  I know before I started on this stint of getting massages and now starting yoga, my entire body felt tight and sore.  I am going to get with this stretching business.  I did do a couple of moves last night the yoga instructor showed me.  My MT showed me some today to help with problem areas.  I haven’t been doing it lately, but I used to always sleep in a reclining position.  She said that is a big no-no.  Especially when you already sit all day.  If you think about it, the muscles in the front get shortened and tight from sitting so much and the muscles in the back (back, bottom and legs) get longer, but tighter.  You are only reinforcing that at night if you sleep in a reclining position.  Flat on your back is much better.  She said you should have a pillow under your knees, though, which is good since that is much more comfortable.  I am kind of flaring up right now in my lower back and she said my right hip was higher than my left and that was probably causing a problem.  She told me to pay attention to how I sit and be conscious to try to balance that out when I am sitting in the evening and when I sleep.  If you sleep on your side, you need a pillow between your knees and one between your feet to keep everything lined up.  The bad thing about sleeping on your stomach is you have to turn your head to one side all the time, which eventually will create problems.  I have laughingly said I wish my bed was a chiropractor’s table so I could sleep on my stomach without turning my head.  No way can I sleep with my head turned like that all night any more.

I was hoping I might get home in time to make up some chicken tortilla soup.  But I am working a little late and will be too hungry to wait for that.  I may make it anyway, for tomorrow.  I need to use up some rotisserie chicken while it is still good.

I did not get home early enough and ended up having a grilled cheese sandwich.  I was really hungry by the time I got home.

Friday

I woke up this morning and weighed a little more than I did last time I recorded it on DietBet.  That is frustrating.  Because I have not been overeating at all.  That leads me to believe I am not eating enough.  I don’t know, but it led to some extra eating this morning.  Not so much that I blew my day, but more than I would normally eat in the morning.  I don’t see much of a way I can get over 5 pounds off between now and Sunday.  I could be wrong and I am not giving up; I’m just kind of frustrated.  I have tried to eat when my body asked for it, but I have not been eating all my points some days.  That’s probably the problem.

I woke up feeling like something was wrong (physically), but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  It hit me as I was walking Cas.  I just didn’t feel right.  It is probably just my mood.  I am soooooo draggy right now and I did not work out this morning.  That means I need to tomorrow morning.  My feet were really cramping last night, so I took a warm bath to see if that would help (it did).  I also drank more water.  So, after I walked Cas this morning, I fell asleep in my chair and I didn’t even take a bath this morning.  I just let the bath last night do it.  I didn’t work out, so it’s not like I had gotten sweaty or dirty.  I finally gathered myself and got ready for work, and actually made it in earlier than I have been lately.  I am so glad it is Friday.  Jerry will be in depositions all day (potentially); but it could be cut short.  It just depends on certain things that could happen in this deposition.

I wish I could stop taking the muscle relaxant, but it is the thing that is helping my headaches more than anything.  It seems like I either have to drag around or have a headache.  I don’t know which is worse.  I will keep working on the stretching and relaxation exercises and hopefully I won’t have to keep taking it.  Usually I can get the headaches settled down and I don’t have to take it for a while.  Then they eventually build back up again.  I just have to remember early on when they start doing that, that I need to take a muscle relaxant for a week or two to get my tight muscles calmed down again.  I hope the stretching and relaxation and massage will make those times fewer and further between.

I happened to see part of an infomercial this morning on TruVita B-12 sublingual tabs.  They are supposed to help your energy and concentration.  Has anyone tried them?  I am thinking about ordering some and see if it helps my energy.  In the meantime, I just have to keep keeping on.  I will make progress if I don’t quit.  I am going to eat more regularly (as in regular foods instead of protein bars, etc.) this coming week and see how I do.  I just don’t want this dragging on forever.  Just a little progress each week and I’ll be happy.

I have a book review to write.  It will either be tonight or tomorrow.  I have finished the book, but left it at home, so I don’t have all the information.  In the meantime, I ordered The Beck Diet Solution and have started on it.  I have heard good things about this book.  I got to read during lunch today (while I was covering the switchboard) and so far so good on the book.  I am to the place where you start Day 1, which I will read this evening.

I was wanting something different for lunch.  Like a good burger or pizza.  I wrestled with that for a while and finally decided I would go to this new little Italian place in the food court and have one slice of pizza and a side salad.  So that’s what I did.  They didn’t have any reduced fat salad dressings, so I didn’t get any there.  I had some RF Ranch in the refrigerator and had a little of that.  It’s been a while since I had ranch dressing.  It tasted pretty good, I have to admit.  I was out of the RF balsamic I usually use.  Anyway, I was well satisfied with the one piece of pizza.  So I’m okay with that choice.

My boss’ deposition did end early.  He was back before lunch.  I don’t know what that means for this afternoon, but hopefully I will get to leave at a reasonable time today.  I am so ready for the weekend.

Don’t ask me how I got into this thought process, but anyway.  I was thinking about whether to go to church tomorrow, etc. and about how I feel like I have so little time outside of work.  Yet I find plenty of time to watch TV.  I started thinking – it’s kind of like my eating; if ever I binge, it’s going to be on sweets.  Lots and lots of sweets.  Because if I eat them, I am addicted to them.  So I decided to not eat them anymore.  Then I thought, what takes the most of my time?  Well, if ever I binge on my time, it is on watching TV.  I am either going to have to control that or not watch it at all.  Hmmm.  I feel a little more resistance to that than I like.  But I think I do need to decide how much TV I am “allowed” to watch, decide what programs I want to watch during that allotted amount of time, and don’t watch anything else.  Just like if we are going to limit or cut out eating sweets, we don’t want to have that stuff around to tempt us, I do not need to have all these programs recorded on my DVR that beg me to watch so I can “cross them off my list.”  So I think I am going to have to stop recording a lot of shows.  Just the new shows that I want to see and that I can see with the amount of time I allow myself to watch TV.  No point in tempting myself with more.

During times when I have felt particularly hopeless about my situation, I picture myself growing old (or not), sitting in my recliner, eating and watching TV.  If I don’t change, that is how my life could end.  Alone, overweight and having no purpose.  That is not how I want to live my life.  So I think it is time to set some limits on the TV watching.  If I find I cannot control it, perhaps I need to get rid of my TVs.  Something to think about.  Time to break that addiction.

I could approach it how I’ve approached getting off diet sodas in the past.  When I wasn’t really ready to give them up, I told myself I could have one, but I had to drink 32 oz. of water first.  So, I can allot some time for television, but only if I have gotten whatever else is on my list done first.  Eventually, I was ready to give the diet sodas up and it wasn’t any big deal.

It is 3:15 p.m. and my boss has left for the day.  Yay!  Please understand – it is not that I don’t like my boss – it’s that I get to go home on time on a Friday night.  Something to celebrate.

I am craving beans with avocado slices and some pico de gallo.  I think I have some beans in my freezer that I made a while back.  So that’s what I’ll have for dinner.  And some kind of veggie or probably a salad.

I haven’t gotten to that point in this book I am reading, but she has made reference that one thing to be successful is to always have a meal plan.  So I need to plan this week’s meals this weekend.  And do some cooking, where necessary.

I’ve gone on long enough.  Have a good weekend everyone!

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