I didn’t have a great night’s sleep last night, mostly because my fan (a box fan I use winter or summer as a noise block, but like it blowing on me in the summer) quit in the middle of the night. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning for no reason and my fan was not blowing. I don’t know if that is what woke me up or I did anyway, but I had a hard time going back to sleep. Then, I woke up again at about 3:00 a.m. and had a hard time. I could hear every squeak and creak of the building. I searched the apps on my iPhone and found a white noise app and used that. Not what I’m used to, but better than nothing. Then when my 4:00 alarm went off, it interrupted it, and in my groggy state I could get it going again. Finally I did and got a little more sleep until about 5:20 (with my second alarm going off in the meantime). It seemed like a fitful night.
I got up and did a couple of things to get moving and got on my recumbent bike at 5:45. I did 39 minutes with warm-up at 5R, middle part at 7-8R, with two intervals at the end at 10R, and a 3-minute cool-down at 4R. I did arm work with hand weights during the middle part too. So I had a good workout and I was all done with it by 6:30 a.m. I got on my computer a few minutes and then took Cas for a walk. It felt good to get it all done earlier.
Perhaps I feel a little less tired today. We will see.
I was feeling so munchy last night because of the withdrawal. I did have one piece of reduced calorie bread after I posted last night. But I had 1 point left and the bread was 1 point. Still, in the middle of the night when I was not sleeping well, my stomach was gnawing. I hate that. I didn’t do anything about it, though. When I got up I had a banana before my workout.
I cooked my breakfast of 2 slices of bacon and a little omelet of 2 eggs and a slice of RF pepper jack cheese. Trying to go high protein at least some days. I meant to pack me a lunch of some kind of salad, but didn’t get it done. Hopefully I can go home for lunch. I should be able to since my boss has a lunch appointment. I hope to get a little house cleaning done then too. I need to work harder on that. I hope when I am thinner and have more energy that that comes easier to me.
I just got around to reading Day 1 of the Beck Diet Solution last night. It was about making a list (called an Advantages Response Card) of all the reasons you want to lose weight. You are supposed to put them on note cards (or whatever), carry them with you and read them over twice a day (at the very least) and every time you are struggling to remind yourself why you want to do this. You want to get them so ingrained in your mind that those reasons automatically come up when you are struggling and tempted to veer off your plan. You can post your list at strategic places (either the whole list or one item from the list here and another there). You are to go over them at least twice a day without fail and set reminders for yourself to do that, if necessary. So I made my list yesterday and I have read through it this morning. It does really motivate me. I forgot some of the things I put on there already and I kept thinking, “yeah, that’s right, I do want that.” I even added another one.
A big item on my list is that I want to get to where I know in my heart that I am good enough for any man out there. I’m tired of feeling like a second rate person half the time. Because it is not true. But that feeling has been there a long, long time. I am good enough for any man, although not every man is good enough for me. Lol. Or not the right one for me. I understand that men are sight oriented and most men like a woman who is more slender, but I do not want a man who is going to base my value on that issue. Been there, done that. No sir, not again.
My youngest daughter has a boyfriend now. She now weighs right at 200, at 5’9”. That is much thinner than she used to be, but she is still a good sized girl compared to a lot of girls her age. But her boyfriend thinks she is the hottest girl out there. As he should. They go to the gym together and work out and he gets jealous of all the men looking at his girl. And she is a beautiful girl, even though she has some weight to lose and that she wants to lose. I am glad she found someone who sees her inner beauty as much as her outer beauty, which is substantial. There has to be someone out there like that for me. I have never had the love of my life and I want that. And so much of what gets in the way is my lack of confidence.
|My Beautiful Bethany|
Other than the withdrawal issue last night, I don’t understand why I am so hungry right now. I ate breakfast shortly before leaving for work, and on the elevator going up to my office I was feeling that gnawing feeling again. I ate plenty of breakfast. I am not going to act on it, but it certainly is annoying.
I think I mentioned last week I ordered a video last week for an arm toning workout. You probably guessed it is Arms of Steel. The subtitle says “Go sleeveless in four weeks.” I don’t think they meant when starting with my arms. But at least they will be toned under all that extra fat. J
I woke up with a nasty headache and not enough sleep. Plus I was very frustrated about chores that needed to be done, so I opted to do them instead of my workout this morning. My mental health needed it. What I really wanted to do was skip work so I could do both. I am supposed to go out of town (as in 6-hour one-way trip) this weekend, so if I go, there will be no time for chores then.
Didn’t I question a couple of days ago if yoga would count as a workout? Well there is no doubt, it does. I got a very good workout last evening. I can tell this is going to be beneficial – I am stretching my body in ways I have not in years. I was always very flexible as a young person. She said I still am, relatively, and that it will all come back if I keep it up. She also said I have a very strong back. I guess that is good! Stretching hurts so good. Lol. She was also talking about how doing yoga builds your confidence and has a way of opening you up emotionally, as you work on opening up your body and muscles. Just the act of doing something positive for yourself has that effect. When I got home from work last night, I really didn’t want to go. It was storming and I just wanted to hunker down at home after being at work all day. But I didn’t want to break an appointment, especially when Jerry did this for me, so I went. And I was so glad I did. I was laying there doing the deep breathing at the end and thinking, “I would miss this if I didn’t keep doing it when my lessons are over.” It is that positive. I highly recommend it. So I am going to want to find a class after I finish with my lessons. I’m encouraging my daughter (Stephanie) to do it too. I think it will help her with all her physical issues and some emotional ones too. By the way, we are not doing any kind of eastern religion exercise with this. I only say that because some people in my circles might be a little suspicious of yoga. It has only been about relaxing, letting tension flow out of me, stretching and strength training. She does tend to draw me out in conversation about things that might be producing stress in my life. She says she thinks it is good to create an association with those things and relaxation at the same time so you can respond to stress in a healthier way.
She also talks about Jerry to me, and evidently they talk about me at his appointments. She says he is highly complimentary of me and told me some specific things he said. Nice to know your boss talks about you to other people like that. I have only positive things to say about him and I have to assume she tells him, since she does that with me.
After yoga, I went to Target to get another fan. I knew I would not sleep as well without it. I was trying to get there from the opposite direction this time and did a lot of driving around trying to find the road I was looking for. I would have done better just to go back to the freeway and go the way I know to get there. (However, I have now seen Lower Greenville in Dallas and am so glad I did – it is a neat area.) It was after 9:00 when I got home. They did not have the regular box fan like I usually get, so I bought another kind. I had no idea how expensive it was until I was at the register (it was out of place on the shelf). Turns out it had to be assembled. It would have gone a lot faster if I had read the instructions to start with. So I spent about an hour and a half and $100 to sleep better last night (which I did). But it left me with only 6-1/2 hours of sleep, which is not enough for me.
One thing I saw on Lower Greenville that I didn’t know was there was a Trader Joe’s. I had no idea there was one so close! I am going to visit there this weekend.
I woke up sore this morning, which was not unexpected after all I did last night. I will probably be even more sore tomorrow. I will get some kind of workout done this evening if I don’t have to work too late.
I never did the cooking I needed to do last weekend, so that has left me eating less stellar than I could. Like a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and cereal for dinner yesterday. I did have bacon and another small omelet for breakfast this morning. It surprises me that that is only 8 points. I went home for lunch and had a salad with more bacon (I had already cooked it), pecorino romano and a little avocado (along with romaine, cucumber and some broccoli slaw for crunch). I had that with Light Balsamic Dressing. I set the timer on my oven to start baking a sweet potato in time for it to be good and done when I get home this evening. I will probably have some baked tilapia and fresh green beans with that. I also got some more chores done at lunchtime, so that felt good. I wish I could go home for lunch every day and get 30 minutes of chores done daily at that time. But I don’t have time to go on the days I have massage, and many times I have to work through my lunch. But I will do it every chance I get. 30 minutes of concentrated cleaning goes a long way.
This is the first time I have ever had a stove with the delayed start timer. I love that. I can tell the oven to come on at 5:00, and cook for an hour and a half at 300 degrees. If I work later than I anticipate, it shuts off, so I don’t have to worry about it burning. Very convenient! I like sweet potatoes cooked long and slow. They are so much better that way. I don’t even need anything on it.
They finally got my prescription filled and I was able to pick it up today (I called it in Friday). I walked down the street to get it and, although I have been fine all day, including walking home and back at lunch, suddenly the radiating pain kicked in with a vengeance and I literally didn’t think I was going to make it. I kept going – I think a lot of cars were impatient with me for taking so long to cross the street – and by the time I got back, it was feeling better. Ouchies! I hope this doesn’t keep happening. I am sure something last night caused a little flare-up.
This is getting long, so I am going to close. I will close with a question like I see on so many blogs.
Have you ever tried yoga?