I have updated my weight chart for the start of Atkins. It hurts, because I have worked harder than this. I was 5 pounds lower than this after the first week of my DietBet challenge, but my body wasn't responding to anything I was doing after that and I even gained weight. But I was not overeating and was exercising fairly regularly. Pretty frustrating. But it is what it is and this is where I am starting. I expect to be on my merry way now. :)
Friday, August 23, 2013
Atkins - Day 4
Like I got ran over by a truck. Yep, that’s pretty much how I feel today. I just keep thinking about my #1 motivation to lose weight, which is to be free of everyday pain. At least this much of it. And I am tired of being tired. I’m so glad it’s Friday! I’m trying to think of more ways to stay on top of my schedule instead of it staying on top of me.
It occurs to me that I am probably having side effects from greatly reducing my carb intake. Does anyone know about that? I guess it makes sense. My body is switching over from burning carbs to burning fat and probably hasn’t quite made it over the hump yet. There has been a day or two when I haven’t even eaten 20 grams, so I should probably be careful to eat my quota. Your body needs some carbs. So I will eat a little more vegetables today. After writing this, I did some reading about it, and I think I am going through what they call “carb crash.” And eating a little more high quality carbs is what I need to do. Then there was this suggestion:
Be good to yourself. You are making a big change and deserve all the pats on the back you can get. Don’t stress yourself out in other ways at this time. Take a bubble bath, take a walk in the woods, cuddle up by the fire with a trashy novel -- whatever makes you feel good.
I have been stressing a little about getting my chores done. I probably need to give myself a mental break about this this week – just do what I can and don’t beat myself up about what I am not getting done. Last night before bed, I decided to just spend a few minutes picking up my room. When I got into it, I realized my room was really not that bad. It looks messy because it is small and full of furniture, but there really wasn’t that much to put away.
So I have begun talking to this guy on a dating website. He seems nice. I sent him a full length picture right off the bat (he asked for more pictures), because if he had a problem with where I am now, I need to know it. Of course, he had already said something that let me know he probably would not have a problem with it. We will see how it goes. He doesn’t have a problem with my looks (he liked my pictures), so I think that’s good. That’s the thing I always worry about. Most people like me who get to know me.
When I went to the wedding this weekend, there was talk among my family about me finding a nice guy. One of my sisters said, “If Sheryl gets married, that is one wedding everybody is going to go to.” They know about my first marriage and they just want me to be happy and find a guy who treats me the way two people in love should treat each other. Then, at the ballgame Wednesday night, my daughter told me that her boyfriend said he doesn’t understand why I am not married. “She is the sweetest, nicest person – I would think someone would have grabbed her up in a hurry.” That was nice to hear. I think my lack of confidence in the past has held me away from people so I have not given myself an opportunity to find someone. I have to say, I feel like I am getting more looks lately. I don’t know if I am misreading them or not, but when a guy seems to make a point to look me in the eyes a certain way, that is what I tend to think. I think a lot of the reason is I am feeling more confident. The positive steps I have been taking to take care of myself are building confidence in me. My countenance is changing, or so I have been told. And I have been told, men are attracted to confident women. I am not an assertive person, but you do not have to be assertive to be confident. I can be confident in who I am. I am much more of a follower, in many ways, than a leader, but I am content in that role and therefore confident. I can take the lead if I need to, but I am more motivated as a follower. Just tell me what to do and I will do it (when it comes to a job, etc.). And I am confident in my competence. I have proved that in my job and in other ways. So why shouldn’t that carry over into every other aspect of my life. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. Everyone has weaknesses, so I needn’t feel less confident than the next person just because I am weaker in an area than they are. I am stronger in other areas.
I went home for lunch today and had a big salad with romaine lettuce, baby spinach, broccoli, avocado, grilled chicken and blue cheese dressing. Yum! I had an Atkins bar mid-morning and will have another or a shake mid-afternoon. The bars are really pretty good. The one I had this morning tasted like a Baby Ruth. The shakes are also pretty good considering I never like nutritional shakes. I don’t gag on this one, lol.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be done raising my children. One is thinking ahead to when her lease is up (my daughters live together). The other could be engaged by then, and she wouldn’t want to sign another lease if she was getting married only a few months after the lease began. The other really does not have the personality or the wherewithal to live by herself. I would really like to see this daughter become more independent, make her own friends and not depend on her sister or me for so much. I don’t want to say too much. It is just a tough situation. You just wish you could fix everything for your kids, but really, it’s the struggle that makes them grow and mature. I shouldn’t do too much for them. I’ve been telling her that she has six months to be thinking about that, so there is no need to panic right now. But she still kind of is, because it is her nature to do so. Not that she can’t grow out of it. That is just how things are right now. I am taking deep breaths because I refuse to take the stress on myself.
My boss has left for the day, which always makes me happy on a Friday afternoon. There was a time when I had to work pretty late most every Friday night. That could start happening again, but I am glad it is not right now. You lose a good chunk of your weekend when you don’t get your Friday evening.
I hope to find some groups on the Atkins website to communicate with. I find it frustrating when you post on these boards and no one replies, and I would think it is the same for other people. So I am trying to make it a point to comment on other people’s posts. I wish they would notify you by e-mail (or give you that option) when someone replies. Maybe they have that option, but I haven’t found it. I guess I just have to check it regularly.
Dinner tonight was steak with green beans (fresh). You are not supposed to have nuts in the Induction Phase, but I read that that is because your appetite has not settled down yet and it is easy to eat too many nuts. There are nuts in the Atkins snack bars, so I figured it would be okay to cook some almonds in with the green beans. I didn't have any almonds, as it turned out, but I had walnuts. So, I cooked them with a few walnuts and some mushrooms. Ilike to cook them in boiling water for 2-3 minutes, then take them out and sautee them in olive oil and butter, along with the mushrooms. I then added a few walnuts and finished it off with a little sesame oil, a little tamari and a very little cayenne pepper. This was absolutely awesome! I enjoyed those green beans. I cooked the steak just right, so dinner was really good.
I think this weekend I will find a recipe for some low carb lettuce wraps. That sounds good and like some good variety.
I hope to get caught up a little and on a more even keel this week. The trip last weekend kind of threw me for a loop.
Happy Friday everyone!