I have decided to do a protein bar day today (which means a protein bar for breakfast and lunch, supplemented with fruit and raw veggies, and a balanced meal tonight). The scale is being a little stubborn and I am trying to have a good loss between now and October 5. This would be like having a Medifast day – I am just buying the protein bars at the grocery store instead of Medifast foods. I may do this twice a week, if my weight loss needs a little tweaking. I have a little ground to make up for my weeks of not doing so well.
I do think the AD is making all the difference. I don’t feel that mental and emotional paralysis I was feeling for the last couple of months. I still might not want to get out and walk the dog, for example, but now my motivation is such that my common sense takes over and I get out and do that. There were days, lately, that I just couldn’t do that before getting on the AD. Poor baby was getting so much pent-up energy because Mama was in such a mental state. I just couldn’t make myself leave the house sometimes if I didn’t absolutely have to. I feel more ready to get out of bed in the morning and face my day, including a morning workout. It also doesn't bother me to be hungry. Shoot, before, I never let myself get near hungry. It is hard to describe the difference. It was not that I walked around sad all the time. But my reclusive tendencies were getting too strong and I wasn’t overcoming them. And something was missing that helped me motivate myself to do what I needed to do. (If you are having that problem on an ongoing basis, maybe an antidepressant is something that would benefit you. Of course, that is between you and your doctor.) I remember one time years ago, I was talking to my sister about things that were bothering me – things I was not getting done that were depressing me. She said, maybe it’s not those things that are depressing you – maybe you are not getting things done because you are depressed. She was right. I am looking forward to see how well the antidepressant works this time, since the other times I was on it I was living in an abusive situation or just coming out of my divorce, which was a highly abusive situation, mentally and emotionally. Now that I am more healed from that and free from that environment, and I am so much more able to be proactive about changes I want to make than I was then, I am interested to see how I will do. Time will tell. I do know that depression runs in my family and there is a likely a chemical imbalance there that is inherited. I fully expect to move into a whole new phase of healing and wholeness. I will work to establish new healthy patterns in my life, and hopefully in a few months, I won't need the AD anymore. Especially when I get established in a regular workout routine. That is the best AD there is, for me.
The headache is better today, although still coming and going. But it is not so relentless as it had been. I did not use a muscle relaxant last night, so I am not quite so draggy today.
I’ve gotten almost to the end of my work day (or so I thought), and so far so good. My boss came and asked me if I was going to be here Friday. I said I was (the firm is open), unless I was told I did not have to be. In other words, if I was given the option to take a vacation day, I would. He said that was okay with him, so I cleared it with the Office Administrator and I now have a 4-day weekend. Yay! However, I have to stay late to get done what my boss wants to do before the holiday. I would have had to do that whether I got Friday off or not. So I am happy.
I was pretty hungry, and knowing I won’t be going home for a while, I went and got a sandwich and some baked chips at Subway. When I get home, I will eat some fruit and call it a day. It will be a good one, eating-wise.
Tomorrow we are planning an outing at White Rock Lake (my kids and me). We will be cooking out, so there will be options for me, and I will bring what I need to make it healthy choices for me. I’m still going strong on getting off sugar. I really haven’t had any big problem. That is how it happened the other time, too. It was like I was just ready. If I can stay away from that, I think that will go a long, long way to building the new lifestyle I need to have to lose this weight and keep it off forever.
I will get at least one good workout tomorrow; hopefully two. We plan to take our dogs to the lake, so I will probably walk Cas some then and get some exercise for me. Poor kitty will be home by himself. I wish I could take him too, but my daughters’ dogs would probably eat him. And it would be too traumatic, I am sure, even if he was in a carrier where the dogs couldn't get him.
I am home now -- got off at about 8:00. I had some fresh pineapple, and may have a little more in a bit. I was afraid it was too ripe, the way some of it looked, but it was really good! The very bottom of it is probably too ripe, though. Usually I buy them not ripe enough and have to wait. This time I didn't do that, so probably should have eaten it right after I brought it home. I bought me a pineapple wedger from the Pampered Chef and it works really well. It "peels," cores and cuts it in wedges.
That's it for tonight. I will do a regular eating day tomorrow, and probably another protein bar day on Friday. Hopefully I will do some good sweating to help things along tomorrow.
Have a great Independence Day everyone! I am thankful for the freedoms we enjoy in this country and pray those trying to take away our freedom will not be successful. I am thankful to all who have served our country in the armed forces, past and present, who have sacrificed so much for our freedom. May we never take it for granted.