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Thursday, May 23, 2013

5 Days Off, Here I Come!

It’s another busy day and I have a lot to get done so I don’t have to give up my weekend off.  The attorneys don’t want to work this weekend either, so hopefully we are pretty safe.  Anyway, I wanted to get a few thoughts down in the midst of all the busy-ness.

I’m pretty sure I’ve had an almost non-stop headache all week (and longer).  It seems I am never completely without one.  I am taking my muscle relaxants, so hopefully that will begin to get it calmed down soon.  I will use them more regularly on my days off.  When I am working I just take a half of one, which helps a little, but I really need to take a whole one every 8 hours until this calms down.  I have a lot of tension built up in my neck and shoulders.  Comes from sitting a computer so much.  That is one reason I am missing my laptop so much.  To be on the computer at home, I have to sit at a desk and I already spend so much time doing that, that’s the last thing I want to do when I get home.  It’s different when I am on my laptop, sitting in my recliner watching my favorite shows.

People ask me sometimes how I am able to function with having a headache so often.  The only answer I have is that I have just learned to cope over the years.  I have had them going on 20 years now.  They are better, and not as chronic, as they were before.  I had a breast reduction in 2011 that helped some and I had neck surgery in 2011 that helped some (but obviously the problem that caused me to have surgery was not the cause for all those years).  It has taken a long, long time to completely come to a conclusion as to what causes them.  And it is pretty much what I always thought it was.  They are tension headaches caused from tightness in my neck and shoulders.  I have learned that taking a muscle relaxant for a few days will get a bad spell of them to clear up.  They will be better for a while after that (not so chronic in nature), and then the tension will build up again.  Massage therapy helps some too.  If they don’t improve in the next few days, I will go get some massage work done.  It just takes so much time to do that.  Headaches were a big reason over the years why I was so tired and unmotivated so much of the time.  I cope with them so much that getting through my work day is all I can do, and when I get home, I have no energy left for anything else.  I suffered with these without fully understanding them during my marriage.  I was so down on myself because I was like I was, but I would like to challenge anyone to go through life day after day after day with a headache (that normal medication does not really help) and then tell me how motivated you are to get up and clean house, work out, be social, etc., etc.  I often just want to stare into space (or the TV screen) or go to sleep to get away from them.  Now that I am learning how to treat them, I will have spells of them, but if I do what is necessary to get things calmed down, I will have a time when I don’t struggle with them so much, until the tension builds up again.  I think not having to sit at a computer all day would help immensely, but unfortunately, this is the way I make my living and I don’t have the luxury of quitting.  So I cope.  If I stay home from work because I have a headache, it is not because the headache is so much worse than usual, it is just that I have lost my ability to cope, so have to have a day to regroup.  The muscle relaxants help, but they are hard to take day after day because they make me so sleepy and draggy.  Exercise does help some, but not completely.  It would be nice to marry someone who made the bulk of the living so I could venture out and find some other way to help financially that did not involve sitting at a computer all day.

I am feeling a little more motivated today.  I am doing protein bars again to eke out a loss in the midst of my lack of motivation.  I plan to do that today and tomorrow, and then work really hard starting Saturday to get on a regular WW  plan.  But I don’t want to lose the week and not have a loss.  Every time I do that, I look back with disappointment that I wasted a week that could have brought me one more step toward my goal.

I have a lot I want to get done on my days off.  I have decided to devote at least 2 hours a day to getting my loft like I want it, until it is done.  Hopefully it will not take a full 10 hours (2 hours a day for 5 days).  It is not just cleaning, but organizing and getting rid of stuff I am not using.  I want to have less clutter.  Might as well make a list:

1.     At least 2 hours of house cleaning and organizing per day (averaged out) until everything is done.

2.     Clean out my car and have it detailed.

3.     3 walks with Cas per day each day I am off (he needs the exercise – he is acting up from being cooped up too much, since I have been working through my lunch all week).

4.     Get my bike serviced.

5.     At least 1 bike ride.

6.     Some kind of workout each day I am off.  (I haven’t been doing it, so don’t need a vacation from it.  J)

7.     Outing with singles class to barbecue restaurant in Fort Worth Saturday evening.

8.     Singles class and church Sunday morning.

9.     Outing with other singles class Sunday evening (possibly).  (We are not required to bring any food, but I think I will take some to help my efforts.  They are having hot dogs, so I thought I would cook up some sautéed onions and peppers to put on the hot dogs and maybe a fruit salad, so I am sure there is stuff there to make my meal interesting.)

10.  Take Cas to the dog park at least once.  He needs a good romp off-leash.

11.  Make use of the pool at the loft community at least once (can be one of my workouts).

I think those are some good goals.  I don’t want to be doing something constantly every day I am off, but I don’t want to sit around all day either (which I have a tendency to do).  This list is just to give me direction and structure.  If I don’t get it all done, that is okay.  But I know getting some of these things done will make my everyday life more enjoyable.

I got a package at work today from Target.  I couldn’t even remember what I ordered.  Then I remembered I ordered some curtains for my living/dining area (I have 4 large windows down the exterior wall of my living space).  It was like Christmas – just what I wanted (since I forgot that I ordered it).  Lol!  I’ll post pictures when I get them hung.  Now I need a different rug for my dining area.

Headache is pretty bad this afternoon.  I don’t know what’s up with that.  Must.keep.working.  Ugh.  I did a little reading.  My high protein days might be the culprit.  Low carb intake acts as a diuretic and depletes sodium.  I put some salt in my hand and licked it and that seemed to help a little.

As I said, I am feeling a little more motivated today.  I was thinking that my next smaller goal is to get down to 235.  I am only about 12-13 pounds from there.  The thought of wasting a week with no progress, because I am slacking off, is motivating me.  I want to keep moving.  I will keep up with the high protein days until weigh-in.  Then I really want to get back with the program where WW is concerned.

I have to work late tonight, but am going to go ahead and get this posted.  5 days off, here I come!

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