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Friday, March 29, 2013

The End of a Busy Week

I was feeling a little blue this morning.  I confess, this was a one-sided pity party, but I still just need to get out there how I was feeling, even if it is silly, okay?  I was feeling like, other than my kids and the people I work with (which, often, is a lot of output and not a lot of input), I have no one who really cares about me on a day-to-day basis.  No one (other than my daughter) asks me to do anything, and rarely inquires about me.  Seems like I am often the one initiating the contact, and sometimes when I do, I don’t even get a reply.  Now, I will admit, I have been too much of a loner with friends and probably done a little too much talking about myself during all the turmoil of the last few years with my family.  I suppose people get tired of that.  But I would have welcomed the same from those I talked to.  They just usually choose to go elsewhere, I guess.  It’s hard being the only single one in my family.  They all have their spouses to go to.  I have tried to start doing better about being a giver instead of a taker.  I don’t know, I guess I am just kind of lonesome.  I’ll be glad when this trial is over, and I will do some more working on that situation.

Enough of that.  Lots of weakness comes up when you are tired.  I am a big believer in, if you don’t like how things are going in your life, then you need to make some changes so things will change.  So that is what I am trying to do.  I have started doing some little things, and as soon as I have a little more free time, I will do more.  That’s all I can do.

I still don’t think I am going to lose any weight this week.  In fact, I may gain.  It’s discouraging, but I know it is just one of those things.  I just have to stick with the program.  Perhaps my body is making adjustments from going from Medifast to Weight Watchers.  The only way I will fail is if I quit.  I was looking at a weight loss journal I have kept.  I journaled about a time when the scale was being really stubborn.  I was in the high 250’s, when now I am in the low 250’s.  The difference in those weights could be the breast reduction.  Seems like this is somewhere my body likes to get stuck.  But maybe it’s just one of those things.  I don’t know.  I know I need to get more workouts done, but work is taking all of my energy right now.  I do plan to do some more this weekend.  I really want to push past it next week.  I need to get my hair done!  Lol.  And I just need to feel like I am on the move again.

There are cookies in the break room.  Ugh.  Need to stay out of there.  Tomorrow is weigh-in day.  Have to keep that in mind, and that helps.  I did pinch a tiny corner off of one, but that was it.

Breakfast today was Banana Custard Oats again.  I did something different yesterday, but forgot to mention that.  This time I put some toasted coconut on it.  For lunch, I didn’t want to spend too many points and not have enough for tonight.  I got a Farmhouse Salad at Potbelly, hold the bacon.  The points on this are not bad – 7 – but adding my dressing (which is Newman’s Own Lite Balsamic Vinaigrette), that ran it up a couple of more.  So I decided to eat 3/4 of the salad and that way, it was only 5 points, plus 2 for the dressing.  I also had a banana and this is holding me just fine at this moment.  I like to have at least about 15 points available at night, enough for my dinner and a little evening snack.  As I have said, that is my weakest time of day.

Jerry is in mediation today.  If the case does not settle, he could be back ready to work late in the afternoon.  On the other hand, he might be so tired, he does not.  I sincerely hope he does not come back, because I really want to go home on time.  I did get to go home at lunch and walk Cas.  That felt kind of good just to get out of the house.  I had a couple of errands to do too.  Cas looked a little forlorn when we came in from his walk and I immediately left again.  I needed to pick up my BP med, because if I don’t take it, I will retain water.  Not good the day before weigh-in.

I haven’t mentioned, but my back has been a little sore since I did the Walk & Firm video.  I really think it is only a “regular” soreness and not a flare-up.  No radiating pain.  However, last night, I turned on my side and there was not enough support in the lower back area and I got a kink in it.  It was hurting pretty badly before I went to sleep and was pretty sore when I got up, but I guess it worked itself out, because later in the morning, it was pretty much gone.  (It was hurting again in the evening, however.)

Surprise, surprise, I got to leave early today.  They let everybody go early because it was Good Friday, and I guess my boss was not coming back, because we were told we could go.  I got home and wanted to eat.  That’s usually what I do when I first get home.  But it was too early.  So I decided to do what my body really needed, and that was rest and sleep.  So I took a nap until about 6:00.  Then, I was hungry and didn’t want to take a long time fixing dinner.  First, I ate the rest of my salad from lunch.  Then I made a wrap with one egg, an egg white and some onions, peppers and mushrooms cooked with it.  I also put a slice of reduced fat cheese on it.  It was good, but not great.  Then I had my usual crackers with Nutella and some popcorn.  I had finished eating by 7:00, so I had to go the rest of the evening without anything.  I could have eaten some more fruit, but didn’t.

My daughter came over and we just watched some TV.  She was tired too.  I cleaned the kitchen a little too, so I would have as much to do tomorrow.

I think I will head to bed soon, since I don’t want to be tempted to eat anything else.  Gonna finish watching Castle first.

Happy weekend!

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