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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Feeling Burned Out

I am feeling a little dangerous today.  I think it is burnout.  I was not wanting to stay late, at all, last night.  So got home after 9:00 and the pets were restless.  I fed them and hoped they would settle down so I could sleep.  They were rough-housing for quite a while, even after I went to bed.  They kept romping around on my bed chasing each other and wrestling.  Once the cat jumped up on the bed, inside the covers, and grabbed on to my foot.  That hurt!  My foot is all scratched up.  He wasn’t trying to scratch me – my foot just happened to be what was there to grab onto.  I was just about to shut them out of my room (which isn’t always a good idea, because then they will whine or scratch at the door and wake me up later), when they must have settled down and gone to sleep.  But the cat woke up at about 5:00 and started jumping at anything that moved under the cover.  I did close him up in the closet/ bathroom area then so I could get a little more sleep.  I had left my phone at work (again!), so my alarm didn’t go off, so I got a late start, so didn’t get to do my workout. Darn!

I was able to go to lunch today, since Jerry scheduled a luncheon appointment with someone.  I decided to get a sandwich at Potbelly and save what I had brought for lunch from home until dinner, in case I had to work late.  I got a Skinny T-K-Y on wheat and some Pop Chips.  Those sandwiches really have quite a few points.  It’s all the bread.  I used 12 points for lunch, since I put a little guacamole on the sandwich when I got home, instead of mustard or mayo.  I remember this is why I finally decided to make my own Subway type sandwiches at home after doing the Subway Diet for a while.  I could get a bread that didn’t count so many points, but bulk it up with more protein if I wanted to.  That is actually what I had brought from home, so that is what I had for dinner.

I took a little longer for lunch than a usual lunch hour so I had time to get my sandwich, eat it and then get Cas a decent walk.  He has too much pent-up energy.  I wasn’t surprised that I had to work late again tonight, based on what my boss said last night.  That’s the way it’s going to be a lot of the time leading up to trial.  The thing that made me grouchy last night, besides being hungry, was he told me that morning he had to leave at 6:30.  I know better than to count on that, but I was hungry enough, I wasn’t feeling reasonable.  At least I stayed with my eating plan.  A friend of mine at work said I could have eaten some of her food she had in the fridge.  What she doesn’t understand is, I don’t want to eat something just to be eating it.  If I am going to spend the points, I want to want what I am eating.  (She had cheese and yogurt and stuff.)  I just didn’t want to deviate from my plan with snacky stuff and mess things up, even if they were fairly healthy things.

I felt kind of like crying all day yesterday (no reason, just one of those things), and when the cat scratched me, it hurt so much I almost cried.  I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t already been feeling that way.  I think it is just burnout.  There is nothing “wrong”.  I could just use a break.  I can tell my boss is feeling a little grouchy too.  I guess it is getting to all of us who are working so hard leading up to the trial.  When people are pulling at you for other things, you want to come back at them.  Today is his birthday and he strongly admonished that no one should plan any kind of celebration for it right now.  He said he will be ready for some “uplifting” after this trial is over.  Me too.  The uplift a good vacation provides.  I and my co-worker did get him something for his birthday.  He is so difficult to buy for, since anything he wants, he buys.  But we did good!  He loved it!

For some reason, I feel like I have gained weight.  I have not, so that is strange.  Maybe I am kind of bloated, which might also explain why the scale is being so stubborn.  But I think I am just at one of those weights my body “likes” and it takes some convincing to move it on past here.  Darn it!

I did work late tonight – until 8:00.  Funny how I felt like I was getting off early.  That’s the difference attitude makes.  I didn’t mind so much tonight.  It’s one of those weeks.

I was not satisfied after my dinner.  I only had one point left.  I don’t like using too many points at lunch.  I had the same crackers and Nutella I had last night, for 3 points.  So I used 2 of my activity points.

I consider Saturday the last day of my “diet week.”  It certainly was for Medifast.  But WW considers Saturday my first day.  So it says I have used my weekly points already.  I am looking at it like I have used 2 of my weekly points already.  I looked to see if I could change my settings to reflect what is my first day, but didn’t see a way to do that.  It doesn’t matter as long as I keep track of it.

I’m still kind of wanting something to eat, so may go to bed early.  I don’t want to fight this all evening.  At least I got through my dangerous feeling day.

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