Search This Blog

Friday, February 15, 2013

Today is a Struggle!

I really have the blahs this morning.  I don’t feel bad, I don’t feel sad and I don’t feel upset about anything.  Just blah.  I would have liked to step out of the rat race for the day.  But, I cannot.  And it’s payday anyway.  You have to go to work on payday.  Wish I had direct deposit, but my firm doesn’t do that.

I am really hungry this morning.  That’s probably part of the problem.  I ate four baby carrots before taking Cas to walk, just to get a little something in my tummy.  I was still really hungry, so ate a clementine with my Medifast pancake.  If I am going to deviate from the program because of hunger, I think this is the best way to do it.  I don’t feel tempted – like I am having cravings – I am just hungry.  The scale was down a little more this morning, though.  J  As the morning progressed, at about 11:00, even though I had my mid-morning snack at about 9:30, I was REALLY HUNGRY.  I was beginning to entertain thoughts about what to do about it.  I don’t know if my body is telling me, “I really need something more to eat,” or if I am at that place where if I stay the course, a good amount of progress can be made for staying with the plan.  I would like to think it was the last thought.  I had thoughts of having another crunch bar – not such a bad thing, it is only 110 calories, but I would run short later if I did that.  I finally went and got some baby carrots out of the fridge and decided to eat those.  My hope is that when I have my shake at lunch, that will nip this in the bud and I will have no problem continuing through the day on plan.  I plan to continue through the day on plan, I just hope I am not this hungry all day.  I can stand to be hungry, but I don’t think I could stand this all day.  Whatever I do, I want to make wise choices, not go off and eat something totally off plan because I am this hungry.

I did 10 minutes of the Leslie Sansone video last night.  I was thinking the one I was doing was the Weight Loss Walk, but the one I had in the machine was the Muscle Mile.  She uses some light weights in the hands for part of it.  I felt like I could have kept going, endurance-wise, but I wanted to be wise and not stir up anything.  I did not do any knee lifts (just did kicks instead).  I felt fine.  The only twinge I had was when I stopped and turned to sit down, I felt a little twinge in my knee.  But only a twinge and it did not come back.  I did as much of the arm movements as I could (which was most of them), but did not use any weights yet.  Again, I want to be wise.  I will keep doing this.  The video only lasted 5 more minutes before cool-down, so if I do it once or twice more without any twinges, I will go ahead and do the whole thing.  But I will have to watch it on some of the cool-down stuff.  She does some mini-squats, and my knees do not take those well.  Although I think it is probably the radiating pain I am feeling when I do stuff  like that, so I guess it affects my back more than knees.  I hate that I have to baby my body so much.  I am having to start at such a lower level than I used to because of these things.

I checked my steps on my armband readout when I got home from work last night.  I believe I had something like 7,700 (my target right now is 8,000).  Not bad!  I forgot to put it back on when I took Cas for a short walk, but did put it back on for the Leslie Sansone video.  I came out at around 9,200, so I probably was in the 9,800 range total.  Pretty good!  I found some new features on the readouts I didn’t know about.  Graphs on how your activity looks through the day, etc.  It was pretty much what I expected.  It had graphs on my sleep activity too.  It showed when I was just lying down vs. when I was actually asleep.  It wasn’t too bad.  I would have a few minutes here and there during the night where it showed I was lying down but not asleep, but not more than five or six minutes at a time.  There were some blank times when I guess it was not picking up activity (maybe I was in a position that made it not be able to read anything).  There was one night a week or so ago that had been a rough night for me.  I had quite a bit of interrupted sleep, and when I saw how many minutes it said I slept (56 for the whole night), I thought, I knew I had a bad night, but I didn’t think it was this bad.  Turns out, it had a long period it wasn’t reading anything.  I guess the fact that it shows I am getting sleep is good.  I had a sleep study some years ago (when I was trying to get approved for gastric bypass) and, although, I didn’t have much of any periods where I stopped breathing, it did show that I got very little deep REM sleep.  Hopefully that is improved since I am about 60 pounds lighter now than I was then.  Anyway, the information this armband provides is pretty interesting.  Here are some pictures of the information my armband recorded.  Not a bad day.

Remember, this left off one walk (although it doesn't look like it).  I took my armband off and forgot to put it back on.  The tallest spike of calorie burning was when I was doing the Leslie Sansone video.

I went to lunch and I still am really struggling.  I didn’t walk my dog like I usually do.  It’s kind of cold and breezy and I just didn’t do it.  It wasn’t the exercise so much as getting outside.  While home I decided to make me some cooked vegetables to see if the warm food would help.  I had a few roasted Brussels sprouts and some steamed baby carrots.  I also had my Medifast strawberry shake.  My tummy is pretty full, but I do not feel satisfied.  The thing that is holding me together is knowing that tomorrow is weigh-in day.  I really want to get through this without falling apart.  I am drinking a SF Red Bull, hoping it will give me a pick-me-up.  Plus I like the way they taste, so maybe it will help with my satisfaction.  I thought about buying an individual piece of candy – something that is just a bite or two – to see if that would help.  But I am afraid that would just set me off, so I have not done that.  I did eat a few peanuts out of a coworkers jar and I ended up eating my afternoon snack (the planned one) early.  It was a crunch bar and I think that helped.  I felt better after that.  Hopefully I can make it through the rest of the day with no problem.

I am considering making tomorrow an off day instead of just an off meal, with the proviso that it is not a license to eat as much as I want to.  Just a normal WW day, using a few extra points.  I don’t have any huge cravings.  I just want a “normal” day.  But it will depend on how in control I feel tomorrow.  And I may wake up more motivated and ready to just do the day like I have been doing, with one meal off.  I just don’t want my hunger to build too much, or I will slip up the middle of next week.

I will update this post later and confirm that I made it through without any further slip-ups.  Have to stay accountable!


Well, I’ve made it through mostly on plan.  I did get into the Kashi GoLean Crisp and ate about a cup of it.  My body feels like it’s crying out for carbs.  The only thing that kept me going was that tomorrow is weigh-in.  This was rough!

No comments:

Post a Comment

I welcome your comments and read every one! However, if you are trying to sell me or my readers something, your comment will be deleted posthaste. Thanks for reading my blog and I hope you receive encouragement from it. --Sheryl