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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Today is a New Day

Yesterday did not go well.  My main excuse is I did not feel well.  I have been fighting a headache for days and yesterday it got to the point where I was not coping.  I got to work and someone had left Paradise Bakery cookies in the break room.  I was not very well prepared and it started with “just a bite.”  I ended up going home late in the afternoon and going to sleep and getting my headache to go away.  I wish I could have done that from the start.  Incidentally, I think my headache was vision related.  I broke my prescription glasses 2-3 weeks ago, and when I look back, I think that’s when my headaches started (although I struggle with different kinds of headaches regularly – usually tension related).  My right eye and my left are two different prescriptions, so I think over-the-counter readers were causing the headaches.  I have made an appointment to get my eyes checked again.

Today is a new day.  I started with oatmeal with a half-cup of pumpkin cooked in.  My toppings were some toasted coconut, a tablespoon of almond butter and a tablespoon of all-fruit jelly.  I mixed in some brown sugar and some pumpkin pie spice while cooking.  I have decided that next time I will leave the brown sugar out.  The amount I am putting does not really sweeten it and it adds a point to my total.  I would rather sweeten it after cooking with a little Stevia so it will actually be a little sweeter without having to add more sugar.  I wonder if a little honey would sweeten it more than the brown sugar?  I don’t know, but I don’t mind using Stevia.  The pumpkin adds no points, but bulks it up quite a bit.  It was very good, but I needed to add a tad more salt and a little Stevia.  I don’t want it REAL sweet, but just a little sweeter than I am getting with the little bit of brown sugar.  I added only a tablespoon of coconut, hoping it would be zero points (2 tablespoons is 1 point).  I tracked it when I got to work, and 1 tablespoon is still 1 point, so I might as well have had 2!  Anyway, this is very tasty and it will be a regular. It is very filling.  I also want to try it with banana cooked in, when I have some riper bananas.

I had two clementine oranges for mid-morning snack.

Yesterday morning, before everything went south, I had Lori’s protein pancakes for breakfast.  They were very good!  The texture was very tender and the taste was good.  I will probably add a little Stevia next time – just a little.  I made her blueberry topping and liked it too.  This will also be a regular, although it took a little time to scrape the batter out of my blender.  You have to blend it to get it smooth.  I realize I am used to things being sweeter, so when I do add some Stevia, I am going to leave it a little less sweet than my current taste and I know my tastes will begin to change.  I wonder if you can make the batter in advance and keep it in the fridge.  I can’t think of why you could not.  I could make enough for two days, which would save me some time.

My food is probably going to be similar, at times, to Lori’s blog, since that is the one I am reading right now.  I get ideas from each blog I read, so I am sure my meals will reflect that.  I will get set on what I like as I go along and try new things.

I am not going to expect a loss this week, with all my struggles.  I am “okay” with that, but I am trying to refocus on my short-term goals today – my preliminary goal of reaching 250 and my reward of a new haircut and highlight, plus the outfit I want to get into by March 31 (this dress is a size 18, so this is not an unrealistic goal).  I really want those things and I don’t want to spend unnecessary time getting there.  I know weight loss is a process and I learn from success and failure.  But I want to keep moving.  I want to go back on Medifast for three weeks beginning Sunday.

For lunch today I made a wrap – a very blah, non-satisfying wrap.  I intended to bring some Laughing Cow cheese to put on it, but left that at home.  I am sure it would have been better with it.  I put some Light Balsamic dressing on it instead.  I am going to have to work with this.  If I had been at home, I would have just thrown it out and eaten something else (or worked on it to make it better).  But since I didn’t get to go home for lunch today, I was stuck with it.  So, my lunch was not satisfying.at.all.  I think next time that happens, I just need to throw it away and go downstairs (they have restaurants, fast food places, etc. in the lower levels of these high rise buildings downtown) and get me something that is a good choice, but that will satisfy me.  Why eat something that uses all your points, but still leaves you wanting to eat?  On top of that, I had a banana in my lunch bag in the refrigerator, and someone pushed my bag to the back to make room for theirs and smushed by banana to the point of being inedible.  How rude.

Non-scale victory today.  There is a lady on our floor who I see in the bathroom sometimes.  She always wants to see what necklace I am wearing that day, and admires them.  We chatted a bit and I told her if I am wearing jewelry, you know I am feeling reasonably good about myself, because when I am not feeling good about myself I may not make the effort.  She said, “Well, the whole package (motioning from head to toe) always looks really good.”  I have never considered myself a very snappy dresser (although I have gotten better since my divorce – as my daughters have grown up, they have coached me).  I have worked on it the last 3 years or so.  I do think it has everything to do with self-esteem, but taking that little extra effort helps my self-esteem too.  Anyway, she made my day.

It’s raining today, so that means no walks.  I am spending a lot of time in the morning fixing breakfast, so I need to streamline that process a little.  I will either do my Leslie Sansone video tonight or my recumbent bike.  I wish that got Cas exercised too.  I didn’t walk him as much yesterday, either, because of not feeling well.  That was a killer headache.  I asked about roller blades the other day.  I got to thinking, since I was always pretty good at roller skating and feel more confident with that, why not just get myself some roller skates.  There are two levels of our parking garage that are for residents only.  Since they are higher up, most people don’t take the trouble to go up there unless they are going to leave their car there for an extended time.  Consequently, there is almost no traffic.  So I could go up there with my roller skates on days like today and skate around and run Cas so he can let off some energy and I can get exercise too.  Then, when I get more confident and make sure I can handle it, I can get out on Katy Trail or the like and skate there.  I think it sounds fun, once I get used to being so “out there.”

I need to get a plan for dinner before I go home.  Since I haven’t thawed out any meat, it will probably be tilapia.  Okay, I have now mapped out a meal that I think will be filling and satisfying.  There is one thing I am going to experiment with.  If it turns out good, I share it tomorrow.

One bit of encouraging news.  Last night was a little rough because I kept having night sweats.  I don’t think it’s menopause – I’ve been done with that for a while.  I realized this morning that I had not had any pain medicine since yesterday morning, so I think the night sweats were withdrawal symptoms.  I keep forgetting to take it because I am not hurting.  So, I think it’s about time to start weaning myself off of them.  We’ll see how the next couple of weeks go, but I have only taken half-doses today – which is how I intended to begin weaning myself off.  My pain level has been fine (except for the headache – I don’t take pain meds for headaches).  As I have said, I intend to take weaning myself off of them very slow, since I don’t want to gain a bunch of weight like I did last time.  Then I would have to start taking them again because I would be hurting again.

Progress.

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