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Thursday, February 21, 2013

I Need to Feel Better


I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now.  The good news is, I stayed on track with my eating yesterday.  I came in exactly at 36 points, which is my daily allowance.  I wanted more late in the evening, but I did not eat anything else.  Not even any fruit (which is zero points) because I knew I was not hungry, I was just wanting to eat.

I am in a rebellious mood or something.  I haven’t gotten my schedule and my motivation in sync yet, either.  Food preparation is taking more time and I did not do any extra exercise last evening other than walking my dog.  And that is all I did this morning.

I am still struggling with the headache, so that is part of it.  But I know that’s not all of it.  (At times, when my head hurts non-stop, I just want to “shoot myself” or something.  Not really, but you know what I mean.  Sometimes I have visions of sticking my neck in the paper cutter and pulling the lever down, lol.  I just want it to go away.)  I just have to keep my eating reigned in until my mood and my headaches improve.  Was it just Monday that I was super-motivated, took the stairs several times that day, along with my walks?  Then Tuesday I fell off the wagon and Wednesday I only just held it together and that’s all I could do.

One good thing is my boss is out of town for the rest of the week, so work will be a little more relaxed.  Sometimes that is good and sometimes that is not good.

One of my problems is I haven’t been drinking my water the last couple of days.  I blew it off Tuesday, but yesterday, the kitchen at work was “closed” because of a water heater problem, so the purified water dispenser was off limits.  I usually go in there and drink down a couple of 12-oz. containers of water, then take some ice water to my desk to sip on (sometimes I add Crystal Light lemonade mix to that).  I do that three times a day, and I think that really helps with the hunger.  I do better to keep a routine.  I keep bottled water in a cooler at home (5-gallon bottles), so I always have it available.  I need to develop a routine at home to make sure I am drinking that water.  Note to self – do that.  I have a good container here at work to do that with, that I am not using, so I will take it home and keep it filled for sipping on all the time when I am home.  When I finish it, I will fill it again.  Sometimes I also drink sparkling mineral water when I want something carbonated.  I love Topo Chico!  But it has such a “bite,” it is not something I can drink down quickly.  So I don’t use it to keep myself hydrated, just as refreshment when I want it.

Maybe it is time to go ahead and start going to WW meetings, even if I do Medifast three more weeks.  The encouragement and support would probably do me good.  I think I will do that Saturday.  This time when I go to WW meetings, I am going to make more of an effort to get to know some people instead of just being an observer who comes and goes without speaking to anyone but the leaders and weighers, etc.  I need to make it a point to talk to other members and start building relationships.  I have never been very good at that.  I can be such a loner.  I need to change that.

The sweater I ordered for my Easter outfit came in.  It is something I want to work down to by that time.  I ordered the 1X, which was supposed to be in the 16W-18W range.  The next smallest they had was an XL, which would be a 16.  I thought that would be a stretch for me to get down to where I could wear a 16 by then.  The 1X fits me now!  It won’t work for something I want to lose down into (and keep losing).  So I am sending it back and ordering the XL.  I hope the sizes for the Misses run proportionately to the Women’s sizes.  This made me pretty happy!  Even if it is a little small (where I wouldn’t want to wear it buttoned yet), as long as it is not too tight in the shoulders and arms, I will be fine with it.  The 1X is plenty roomy in the shoulders and arms.  So back it goes to exchange for the XL.  The sweater is very nice – very soft and quality feeling.  I think it was a good choice.

For food today:  When I first got up, before I took Cas for his early walk, I had an apple.  I was feeling kind of empty.  For breakfast I had pumpkin oats again with a tablespoon of peanut butter and one of all-fruit jelly, plus 2 tablespoons of toasted coconut.  I did not use any brown sugar and used Stevia instead.  That worked better.  Mid-morning I had two clementine oranges.  For lunch I made another wrap, this time with the Laughing Cow cheese spread on the tortilla, with 2 ounces of chicken (all I had), shredded lettuce, some red bell pepper and some onion.  This was much better than yesterday.  The LC made all the difference.  I also had some Dannon Light & Fit Greek yogurt, a piece of string cheese (since I only had two ounces of chicken) and a banana.  I still felt like I wanted something else, but couldn’t think of anything else that wouldn’t be more points than I wanted to eat.  I did stick my finger in the Nutella jar, and will count that as a point.  Probably wasn’t even a teaspoon.  Oops, I hadn’t made any plans for dinner before time to go home.  I was still struggling with a headache, so I decided to go to Subway.  I got me a sandwich and some baked chips, which used all my points except 1.  I had some more clementine oranges and a little later I had some baby carrots dipped in the Laughing Cow cheese, which used the last point.  I felt pretty satisfied after that.  Hopefully it last until bedtime.  So I used exactly 36 points again.

I went to pick up a prescription at lunch and it took way longer than I expected, so I didn’t get to walk my dog.  I got off on time, but was still struggling with a bad headache.  I did take him with me when I went to Subway.  I am sitting here debating whether to take another short walk.  I’m sure I would be fine this late, but I feel a little hesitant.

I just need to get to feeling better.  The good news is, my other pain levels have been great.  I can’t tell you how nice it is to be able to stand up after sitting for a while and not to have to wait while the pain is washing over me.  It doesn’t hurt at all!  Tonight, my goal is to sleep on my back without rolling to my side, at all.  I think that is messing with my neck and that could be triggering the headaches.  I am having some of the hardware issues in my throat right now.  Possibly from the same thing.  So I am going to try that tonight and see if things improve.  I feel like it has something to do with my eyes too.  They feel so tired at the end of the day and I feel aching pressure behind them after working all day.  I wish I had my 20-year-old eyes again that never needed anything to see everything.

Guess I’ll go.  I’m going to read some more of Lori’s blog.  I have the font increased so I don’t need glasses to do it.

I hope I have less to complain about tomorrow.  J

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