I was a bit moody this morning. It started when my co-worker and I were going over what was going to be coming up with getting ready for this trial. My life is about to be extremely busy. I am talking about working-until-the-wee-hours-of-the-morning-a-lot-of-the-time busy. I am fine with that. I knew it was coming. This is my first big trial and I am kind of excited about it. What she said after that is what upset me. Just something Jerry asked her to tell me and help me with. A minor criticism. What upset me was the criticism was about something I am already actively working on. In fact, I made a resolution about it at the first of the year. I don’t always have time to work on it (it’s about organization), because I get in the middle of it and then get pulled off to do something else and then things look worse than they did temporarily. But I am working on it every chance I get. That was why it upset me. I wasn’t upset with Jerry; just frustrated because I felt misunderstood. Don’t get me wrong – I know this is a weakness of mine, but instead of wishing I was different, I made a decision this year that I was going to work on overcoming it. And I have worked on it. You just can’t see it yet unless you know where to look. I have to work on clearing space taken up by past cases to have room to put up stuff from current cases. I don’t want to just move some piles of stuff so things look cleaner. I want it organized. So I have been working on closing some files and weeding out unnecessary stuff, and that is some of what you see cluttering my area. I felt silly to be tearing up over that, but I did. Not while she was telling me, but later as I thought about it. I think the root of it is feeling criticized when you were really working hard. I have felt that way before, when certain people get all uptight about how much overtime they are having to pay when I am just doing what my boss asks of me (especially since my boss is the president and big money earner of the firm).
I had a little bit of a rough night last night. I forgot to say yesterday that after my walk last night, my knees (it was radiating pain) were hurting A LOT -- throbbing. It took some doing to get them to settle down. I put Biofreeze on them and massaged them and took pain medication. But during the night, they really started throbbing so that I couldn’t sleep. This is all because I flared up after doing the Leslie Sansone video. I had to get up and sleep in the chair a while and take more pain medication. During this period of being half-awake and half-asleep because of pain, my neighbors kept going in and out the door to their loft and out the door to the parking garage, and they would let those heavy doors slam every time they went through. I don’t know what they were doing. My bed is on the other side of the wall right by those doors. It was really loud and this kept me from being able to go back to sleep too. I wrote out a little note and taped it on their door, politely asking them if they could catch the door and not allow it to slam when they are going in and out those doors late at night. (This has happened on several nights.) Anyway, I finally went to sleep in the chair and woke up around 3:45 and the pain had settled down enough to get back into bed. After I got back in the bed, Cas kept getting up next to me and “digging” like he often does (but never in the middle of the night). I don’t know what he was doing, but he kept it up off and on from the time I got in the bed until I got up at a little before 6:00.
I took my early morning dose of pain med so I would be okay to walk Cas in the morning, which I did. My armband is supposed to be able to tell how much you sleep. Last night: 56 minutes. Ugh.
I don’t know, maybe I need to back off on the walking until my back/knees settle down again, but they were not doing this at all until I messed something up doing those knee lifts. I hope it will settle down without me having to stop walking.
I did go for a long walk at lunchtime today and did fine. I’m not hurting like I was last night, so maybe it was just one of those things. I just don’t want to get so flared up I can’t do anything.
I am surprisingly less hungry today; I don’t know why. I was pretty hungry when I got up this morning, so I ate a few baby carrots before walking Cas to hold me over. I also wanted to take an anti-inflammatory and needed something in my stomach first. I didn’t eat my morning snack until after 10:30 (usually have it at 9:30) and I didn’t have my lunchtime shake until I got back from walking and getting settled in again, so it was about 1:45. I was glad for this, since I had to work late and having everything pushed later helps with that.
So, knowing that I am about to be really, really busy in the next four months, and knowing that can really throw you off in weight loss efforts (not having time to focus on meal plans or get as much exercise, being overly tired, etc.), I want to be prepared ahead of time as much as I can. I need to make sure I have meals I can rely on for nights I am working late (stuff at the office I can warm up or fix quickly), have a plan for getting in exercise as much as possible, contingency plans when I am tired (which is a big trigger for me), etc., etc. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know your thoughts. I think my idea of getting some meal plans thought out beforehand would be good. I need to make plans about what I will do when I am extra tired and at work. Having something healthy to fill up on (like raw veggies) is a good idea, and I am not opposed to keeping a SF Red Bull handy, during this stage. Whatever it takes to help keep me on track. I will likely still be on Medifast when the busyness starts, but should transition out of it during the middle of it. So I need to be ready. I always do better when I am prepared.
This means morning workouts are going to be a must (unless I have worked until 3:00 in the morning). But if I have gotten some kind of workout done in the morning and never have a chance to do anything else exercise-wise for the rest of the day, at least I will have that done. That has always been my philosophy. I also need to find ways to grab exercise throughout the day. And there will be days, I am quite sure, when I just won’t be able to work out. But my plan will be to get morning workouts unless something drastic prevents it. WW is designed for you to lose weight without the exercise, but you can increase your rate of loss with exercise and you can also trade points earned from exercise for more food. So if I wasn’t getting any formal exercise, I would just have to stick to my daily points allowance. Whether I chose to eat my weekly points allowance would depend on how fast I wanted to lose. Sometimes it would be worth it to go slower and get to eat more; other times I may want to cut it back and increase my weight loss.
I checked my steps when I got home and my long walk at lunchtime paid off. I have 7,660 steps already. I may or may not get the other 340. It’s windy and a cold front is blowing in. I don’t think I want to try the walking video again yet.