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Monday, January 14, 2013

Two Down...

Well, I made it through yesterday.  Yay me!  This morning I was down a total of 5.2 pounds.  That’s pretty motivating.  Too bad I can’t lose 2.6 pounds per day for the next 30 days.  But I know it is better to lose it more slowly.

Eating clean is going to sound so good when I am done with this.  I had the Chocolate Mint Soft-Serve last night (which is supposed to be like soft serve ice cream).  I think it might have been the worst thing yet.  But I spooned it in and tried not to gag.  No, really.  I had Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal this morning and added a whole package of Stevia, some cinnamon and some salt.  It was a little more palatable, but nowhere near good.  For lunch I had the Chicken Noodle Soup.  It was edible, but that is about it.  There is just some element (I suspect the soy protein they put in everything) that makes everything undesirable.  I may have to order all snack bars to make it through a second two weeks of this, but I am determined to do this to get to feeling better and get on a better track.  The weight loss is keeping me motivated, at least.

I had my mammogram this morning.  It was kind of unsettling.  You go in and they take you back and you have to put on this tent-type gown over your upper half (leaving clothes on the bottom half).  Then you go out in this waiting room full of ladies with similar gowns.  Some are cold, so they wrap themselves in warm robes and blankets.  I am having so many hot flashes from my medication, I didn’t want to do that.  Then they call you back, do their films (all you mature ladies know what that is like) and send you back out to the waiting area, still in your gown, until the radiologist looks at the films.  Usually they come give you a report, you get dressed and go home.  They called me back in for a second set of films.  She said the doctor wanted her to “rotate the tissue” a different way.  In the meantime, I can see pictures on the screen of my breast with the lump.  So I get a second set of films done (fun, fun!).  They told me to go back out to the waiting room and wait.  Then they come tell me they want to do an ultrasound and will call me into that room as soon as a room is available.  20 minutes later, they take me in the ultrasound room and lay me on a table in an awkward position while they scope my right breast.  The technician then left the room and said the radiologist would be in in a few minutes and would probably want to look at it herself.  So I lay in there another 20 minutes, looking at the screen with the lump in my breast marked.  It was somewhere between the second set of films and the ultrasound that some nasty little thoughts started creeping in.  Results?  The lump is a fat necrosis or scar tissue.  Everything is fine.  They want to see me again in six months to make sure nothing changes.  Sigh of relief.

I have been having a pretty strong headache and body aches the last couple of days.  I am sure it is my body throwing off toxins from the weight loss.  I feel kind of like I have the flu.  I wish I could just sleep all day.  But in another way, I am glad to go to work to keep my mind off of any cravings.  Staying busy is better.

I had the knee problem again last night.  It started soon after I went to bed.  I tried changing positions a little and that didn’t help.  Then I got the heating pad and put it on my knee.  That helped a little, but it was still enough to keep me awake.  When I stand up, I can tell it is radiating from my back.  I had to get all my pillows and prop myself into an almost sitting position, with more pillows under my knees, to take the pressure off my back to make the pain shooting down to my knee stop.  I didn’t get to sleep until after Midnight, and consequently overslept this morning.  I hope this lets up soon.  I do not like interrupted sleep.

Don’t let this freak you out, Michelle, but I printed out before and after pictures of you for inspiration.  You really are my hero.  It’s not only that you lost the weight, but that you have become such an athlete.  That is what I have always wanted to do.  I may have to do it in a different way (because of back and knee issues), but I can still do it!  I don’t just want to be thin; I want to be fit – obviously so.  It is so awesome that you are now a lifetime member at WW too.  I think WW is the way to go, for a set plan.  You can make so many different ways of eating work under the WW guidelines.  I am even logging my food intake on the WW site while doing what I am doing now.  I am not eating nearly enough points, but it gets me in the habit of doing it for next month when I switch over.

I have been behind on everyone’s blogs.  Not only has it been time constraints, but I think I have been hiding my head in the sand until I could get my head in the game again.  That’s silly, because reading your blogs might have gotten me there sooner.  There is some verse in the Bible that talks about God not only helps us do what we should, but He helps us WANT to do what we should.  Many times that is the problem with me.  I will not even pray for strength because I do not really want to overcome at that moment; I want the food.  I pray that He helps me want to do what I should, each time my motivation is lacking.

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