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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Slow Improvement

Doing a little better today, although it is still quite painful to walk after sitting for a while.  I may try a short walk with my dog this evening, if I get off on time.  I did walk to work this morning.  I did quite a bit of walking at work yesterday, though, and it was beginning to take its toll.  I just want to be careful.  Perhaps I can get on the recumbent bike tomorrow morning.

My eating yesterday was good, almost very good.  Breakfast was Kashi GoLean cereal with milk.  Lunch was a Farmhouse (grilled chicken) salad at Potbelly.  Dinner was a roasted chicken sandwich from Subway, an apple, and 5 whole grain crackers with Nutella.  A little later I had probably 5 more crackers (no Nutella).  I also had 2 hard cinnamon candies during the day (not from my cubie’s candy bowl, but from the mint bowl we have in the lobby).  I needed something after the salad, which had red onion and blue cheese in it.  I didn’t touch my cubie’s candy bowl, which is full of chocolate and Starburst candy.  Too dangerous for me to get started on.

This morning, I had a ham, mushroom, egg and swiss on a wheat square at Potbelly (I was running late, so didn’t have time to eat at home).  A square is the size of half a regular sandwich, or about 3 inches.  With that I had a banana.  Lunch was a Southwest Chicken Caesar salad and an apple.  I ordered the dressing on the side, so I could control how much went on it.  Usually, for me, the less carb thing is a more important choice than a low fat thing.  Within reason.  For dinner, I think I will have parmesan crusted chicken, a little rice and some steamed veggies.

There are Christmas goodies in the break room calling out to me.  I just keep thinking:  “Christmas goodies or less pain?”  I have to choose less pain.  I wish the result of good choices was immediate, but then I would probably stop making the good choices.  I have to keep in the forefront of my mind that I have to make changes, and the changes have to be permanent, if I want to have a life that is not filled with pain.  I need a shock collar to remind me when I choose not to remember that.

This does not mean, however, that I will not have any Christmas goodies at all.  I just cannot make it a month-long thing, like it tends to be in this law office.  Clients and vendors deliver things to our office all month long, not to mention coworkers bringing goodies they have made.  There have been years that I just don’t eat some meals because I know I will be indulging in the goodies around here and I am trying to save at least some calories.  But I have to exercise more discretion this year and partake of the goodies only on limited occasions.

I keep thinking that after Christmas I would like to do something for a few weeks to get some weight off more quickly (like Medifast or something) so I can more quickly get to a place where my pain level is improved enough to where I can be more active to help with my efforts.  Does anyone have any thoughts about that idea?  A big question is, would I do it?  I might.  I hate that I have let it get to this point before I am motivated enough to do something about it.  There was just too much junk going on in my life.

I did not have the family meeting last weekend.  I have, however, been speaking up more to my kids individually.  And there is more I need to say.  I also need to speak up more at work.  I didn’t tell my boss yesterday that I didn’t think I needed to be making 20 trips down the hall to the other end of the office.  He was in a meeting and I didn’t want to make an issue in front of the other people, plus I was feeling some better.  However, toward the end of it, it was beginning to take its toll.  And it was more walking than I needed to be doing.  He is down there in that same office today.  So far, I have only had to make one trip down there.  If it starts up again, I will tell him, or I will take my co-worker up on her offer to walk down there for me.


It didn’t wind up being too bad, and I am slowly feeling better.  Now I am going to walk home from work.

I did have a little “white trash” that somebody brought.  But very little.  I also had a fun-size Snickers from the candy bowl (darn it).  Of course, that made me want more, but I fought that urge off.

Gotta run!  (Or walk slowly.)

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