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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Things are Looking Up?


Monday

Well, I don’t have a lot of news.  Other than I really need to get back on track.  I had four days off from work, which I sorely needed.  I didn’t do much except rest.

Of course, I had Thanksgiving Dinner with my kids.  They helped a lot with dinner and it did not seem overwhelming and everything turned out wonderfully.  Nothing dietetic about it, other than everything was made with fresh food.  No casseroles made from cans of soup and that kind of thing.  My daughters love green bean casserole, but I do not like using canned soup because it is so full of MSG and preservatives.  But we made a green bean casserole from fresh green beans, fresh mushrooms, and a crunch topping made from fresh shallots.  It is delicious – so much better than the kind with canned soup and French’s onion rings.  My son made a squash casserole, also from fresh ingredients.  Best squash casserole we ever had!

I remember the “old days” when I was quite a bit younger.  I could eat a couple of platefuls of dinner and then several desserts throughout the day and leftovers for dinner.  Can’t do that anymore.  One plateful and I was done.  I did have too much dessert, but no leftovers that evening.  So although the food was not low calorie, I was not able to eat nearly as much of it as I used to.

I did take some walks over the holidays.  I rested quite a bit, but that gets my body to hurting more, so yesterday I was up and around a little more.  Still, I seem to have this paralysis outside of work.  When I get home, except for walking my dog, I am not doing much.  I don’t like the way I feel when I am like that.  But I did need some rest.  Yesterday I tried to alternate times of rest and relaxation with times of being up and being busy.  But I still felt like I should have been doing more.  I need to push myself more.  I wish I wasn’t constantly having to deal with this pain, but at this point, that is wishful thinking and I just have to find a way to get what needs to be done, done and push through this.

The kids have been over a lot.  Of course, my son is staying with me right now, and my daughters are at my house pretty much all of their free time.  Of course, this was a holiday weekend, so I guess that is one reason.  The girls bring their dogs, so my loft is full of 4 people and 3 dogs.  It is keeping things pretty lively.  I am less likely to get up and be busy around the house when they are all there.  Hopefully things will get a little more like normal this week.

Steph will be changing jobs soon.  Actually, she is waiting to hear back about the one she really wants, but if she does not get that one, she does have another offer on the table too.  It will be enough for her to be able to pay her bills.  If she gets the one she really wants, she will have enough to pay her medical insurance too (which she will need, because they are nanny positions, and do not come with health insurance provided).  The one she wants would be for a couple, the wife of which is an attorney.  Stephanie told this lady who her mom worked for (Jerry), and as it turns out, this attorney’s firm is the opposing counsel on the big case I am always talking about that my boss is working on.  She knew who my boss was, for sure, although she wasn’t personally working on the case.  (Did I mention we are whipping the other side’s butt so far in this case?)  She is also friends with one of the female attorneys here in our firm.  I hope that will work in Stephanie’s favor and not against her.

The other family she met with wants her pretty badly and increased their offer to her.  If she does not get the one she wants most, she will take this one.  It pays significantly more than she makes now and she could make it on that income, except for the medical insurance part.  I would have to help her with that.  So, of course, I am wanting her to get the other one too.

My son also thinks he might have a job.  If he gets this one, it will be just a block away from my loft.  I am sure he will continue staying with me until he saves up enough to get a place in Dallas.

I say all this because these are things that would help me immensely.  It would help me a lot not to have to carry all this load.  I “worry” when I don’t have as much overtime, instead of being glad for the rest, because I need the extra money to keep us all afloat.  I can make it fine on my salary without any overtime if I wasn’t having to help my kids so much.  There are a couple of things I have had to help Bethany with lately, too.  One being she had a wreck and has to pay the deductible for the car insurance, and one is something she would probably prefer I not go into detail about.  Just one of those things that happens when you procrastinate because you are low on funds.  She says she is going to pay me back, but I don’t see how when she has just enough to cover her bills as it is.

Again, I am thankful that I have the means to help when it is needed – I just don’t want it to be needed so much.  This load is too heavy.

My eating today has been under better control.  The candy bowl is empty, so that is helping. My cubie is out today, so she didn’t refill it.  I would like to hide the bowl and see if she gets the hint.  People groan all the time about it, but she just laughs.  She is a tiny little thing and rarely eats anything like that, but I guess enjoys watching other people eat it.  Aside from the candy bowl, I have had some thoughts of getting something sweet (always sweet cravings with me), but I am in enough pain today that it is reminding me that is not going to get me where I want to go.  I had a bowl of soup (some homemade chicken tortilla soup I had left over), and that seemed to satisfy me.  I don’t seem to be thinking about eating all day long when the candy bowl is not staring at me all the time.

I walked my dog at noon, so that is my second walk today.  I had forgotten to take my medicine mid-morning, when my dose was due, and so I was really feeling it on my walk.  I’m really “waddling” today (which is the word they use to describe the typical gait for people with spondylolisthesis, which is certainly true for me when it is flaring up).  You want to limp, but both sides hurt, so you end up kind of waddling.  And my hips don’t feel right when I am walking.

I really need to make an effort to get up when my alarm clock goes off at 5:45 (instead of squeezing out 30 minutes more of sleep) so I have time to go to the gym and ride the recumbent bike.  I keep thinking they will be here to fix mine any day, but they haven’t yet.  I confess that one excuse I was making was that I felt bad leaving Cassie for the 30 minutes I am at the gym.  I try to use opportunities for exercise as opportunities to spend time with him and get him exercised too, but I can’t really do that when I ride the recumbent bike (unless I could ever get him trained on a treadmill – not sure how apartment management would feel about that).  But he would be fine those 30 minutes.  And with my son staying with me, he is not having as much time spent alone in my apartment.  So I just need to do it and start building that habit again.  I’m going to make a goal to do that in the morning.  If I get moving more, it would probably motivate me on my eating too.

December is always really tough.  There are tons of goodies around and special events to attend.  So moving as much as possible is important.  And I don’t have to eat it just because it is there.

Tuesday

My eating was definitely better yesterday.  When I got home, I had a ham and cheese sandwich (from leftover Thanksgiving ham).  I ate a few – maybe 5 – crackers with some peanut butter, and that was it.  That was pretty good for me, lately.  I can eat a whole sleeve of crackers with peanut butter pretty easily (heh-heh).

My improved eating has continued today.  I keep thinking about wanting to go get me something sweet, but I just never get around to it.  I had cereal for breakfast and a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch.  My son is cooking something for dinner, I think.  If it is like the last meal he cooked me, it will be fish with some rice and a veggie.  That’ll work!

Steph did not get the offer that was her first choice, so she will be taking the other one that was offered.  The good thing about this one is it starts before the other one would have (either Friday or Monday).  And she will be paid weekly, so she should have money coming in quickly.  That is good, because I don’t think I have enough coming in to cover all the bills this paycheck.

My son has a second interview tomorrow and hopefully has a job right down the street from my loft.  He can get started on that (it is waiting tables) and start making money pretty quickly.  I am sure tips will be pretty good – it is a fairly nice restaurant and the downtown crowd should be pretty good about tipping.  Lots of attorneys and business people going there for lunch, and residents and visitors at night.  Hopefully he can manage getting his own place (hopefully with a roommate) in the not-too-distant future.  At some point we need to make the switch (in our minds, mostly) to my car being my own again and his use of it being “borrowing it” instead of me feeling like I am borrowing his car.  Too bad he can’t move in with his sisters and cut their expenses into thirds instead of halves.  But they would really need a bigger place to be able to do that.

Anyway, hopefully a lot of the financial load is going to be lifting soon.  That should help with my motivation.  Now if we can keep everyone healthy and out of “trouble”!!!

My pain has been increased the last couple of days.  My friend at work who has similar problems to me with back and radiating pain says her pain has been increased the last couple of days too.  We wonder if the change in weather is having an effect.  I don’t know.

I broke down and ordered me some things I needed in the way of clothing.  Actually, most of it is shoes – or actually boots.  I didn’t have much of any decent “closed in” shoes for the colder weather, especially that are comfortable enough for walking to work every day.  My feet have been bothering me some.  I can’t wear flats – they do not provide enough support, but I also cannot wear too much heel, at least when I am walking to work (I could always change when I get here, though).  Anyway, I hit a “Black Friday” online sale and ordered me two pair of boots (dress boots, for work), some ankle boots, a jacket for weather when I need something to keep warm, but not so cold that I need my heavy coat, and a skirt.  I ordered a kind of brown trench-style coat, but it is hip length rather than full length.  I also ordered a denim type skirt that will look cute with the boots I have ordered and that can be worn with tops I already have.  I got all of this for $200 with the sale.  I put these on a credit card, which I don’t typically do, but I really needed these things for the sake of pain issues and weather issues.  But I budget $100 per month for clothing and I can pay this off quickly.  I do not like to keep a credit card balance and times seem so uncertain these days, I don’t think debt is very wise.

I did not get up and go to the gym this morning.  I was sleeping so good this morning, I just couldn’t make myself get up.  So often by morning I just can’t stand the bed any longer, because of my back, so with some good pain-free sleep, I wanted to take advantage of it.  But I really need to get going on this.  Sure would help with my pain issues would let up, but I have to push through anyway.  Hopefully I can report something positive tomorrow about that.

This is way too long, so I will close.  Maybe things are on their way to smoothing out a little.

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