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Thursday, November 29, 2012

It's Time to Get Moving Again

I can see some improvements in myself this week.  Not so much desire for emotional eating.  I eat a reasonable amount and I am okay with that for several hours until the next meal.  I don’t have this constant urge to munch all day like I have had for a while.

It’s time to make a plan, shop for what I need to carry that out, and get going again.

I got up “on time” this morning.  I took the dog for our usual first-thing-in-the-morning walk.  I got back and was thinking what to do next.  Typically I would go into the living room and turn on the TV while I checked e-mail, etc. for a while before getting ready for work.  Since my son is staying with me right now and sleeping on my couch, I haven’t been doing that.  I thought about going to the gym, but wasn’t feeling very motivated.  I began to think about how nothing was going to change or get better if I didn’t make some changes, so I got up and went to the fitness center at my lofts and did 20 minutes on the recumbent bike.  It’s a start anyway.

I’ve been behind on reading other blogs, but I have been doing more of that the last couple of days.  This really is a motivating thing for me, so I need to spend more of my free time doing that.  Michelle’s, in particular, motivates me.  I am not sure I will be physically able to become the athlete she has become, but she certainly makes me want to try.  I have to break myself out of this paralysis I have been feeling when I get home and start doing more physically.  I think if I will do that, the eating will begin to follow.

One of the things that I keep using as an excuse is that the kids are around all the time.  Jacob is staying with me and the girls are coming over every night after work.  I think this is partly because everyone is short on money, so they are coming to my house to eat.  And they also come to watch my TV, since I have cable.  Bethany comes and uses the gym at the lofts and rides my bike and takes her dog for a run through the downtown streets, etc.  For some reason, when the kids are there, I am less likely to get up and get busy.  I sit and watch TV.  I need to take my cues from Bethany.  I have to get myself up out of that chair, whether it is to get out and walk, go to the gym, ride my bike, do some housework, or whatever, even with the kids there.  Just because they are there doesn’t mean I have to sit around.

I am still having a significant amount of pain this week.  I don’t know what brought it on.  I thought it was from sitting around too much on my days off, but it sure is hanging on.  Perhaps I have gained some weight and it is having its effect.  I haven’t gotten on the scales, because sometimes that traumatizes me.  My clothes don’t feel significantly tighter, however.  But I am sure I have gained a few.  That is probably having an effect on the spondylolisthesis and pulling me more out of alignment.  I have an appointment with the reflexologist on Saturday, so maybe she can help.  I don’t know how to explain it, but when I get up to walk, the pain is pretty severe and I am bent over and slow and the radiating pain is increased.  It is hard to pick up my feet and I am more apt to trip.  I am also having more problems in my feet and ankles, so that makes it difficult.  I was also having trouble in my upper back yesterday.  Something I must have done in my sleep, because I woke up feeling like something was out of place at the level of my bra line on my spine.  There is a big knot of pain there, something feels out of place and I can feel numbness and tingling going out from that spot.  Last night when I lay down, I begin to feel like I was not going to be able to keep laying there.  Something about it was so uncomfortable, I didn’t think I was going to be able to sleep.  I realized I had a pillow by my left side and my arm was on top of that pillow.  I moved the pillow so my arm was resting on the bed itself (I sleep in an inclined position, so this caused my arm to fall away from my side more), and it suddenly relieved all the pressure I was feeling in that area.  I think sleeping with that pillow there the night before is what set it off.  Who knew an arm position could make that much difference?  But my spine is so sensitive and “fragile,” the least little bit of misalignment causes something to flare up.  It makes me feel old.  I think I may go get a chair massage this afternoon.  Maybe that will help work the soreness out of that area.

I remember Michelle saying in her blog (or one of her FB posts) that life was so much better after losing 80 or so pounds (that’s how much she had to lose).  She had so much more energy and pain issues were improved, etc., etc.  I want to get there.  I actually had twice that much to lose when I started, so it seems like it would make even more difference for me.  I don’t know how healthy my spine can become by losing weight and getting physically fit, but it would have to help a lot, I would think.  I am very tired of living this way.  I am very tired of being in constant pain.  And this is life with pain medicine.  I can’t imagine how it would be without it.

It’s time to get moving again.

One other thing -- Jacob and Stephanie both got jobs!!!  Yay!!!

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