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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Working on Staying Focused

I am being flaky about posting, I know. I guess I have been kind of “caught up” the last few days with my daughter staying with me after surgery. She went home last night, so it is just me and the dog again. Kind of nice, I have to admit.

Food has been unfocused the last few days. No good excuses, except the stress of the last few days. I have walked every day.

Today I am trying to get focused again. I woke up thinking about everything and began praying about all the things going on. I prayed for strength and motivation. I also prayed for things having to do with my kids and, particularly, Stephanie. She told me last night her stomach is feeling strange again. She told me she just wanted to let me know, in case I got a call in the middle of the night that it was starting all over again. I pray not. I have noticed that her face is breaking out again. It did that when she had the intestinal blockage and cleared up after they finally got it fixed. So it does give me pause. But worrying about it does absolutely no good, so I have purposed to pray and not worry. That is all I can do. One thing we have considered is that when her system gets slowed down because of taking narcotics for the knee surgery, does that added stuff in her intestines contribute to the problem. I told her to take the maximum dose of stool softeners to help combat that. I hope that helps and that is all it is. Please, Lord, not another blockage.

But, as I said, worrying about it does absolutely no good and I have purposed not to do that. My only problem today was that someone sent our office donuts as a thank-you and I had one of those. But I did stop at one. Usually I would be visiting the break room several times. I had extra pain this morning – the all-over kind that makes you feel like you have been run over by a truck. I used that as motivation and stopped myself. I also had a little candy out of cubie’s candy bowl. Why do people want to do that? But I just have to be strong. There will always be temptations. Today it is already done, but I need to get going on “no sugar” tomorrow. At least for a while until I am under better control with it.

I went home and walked my dog at Noon – about a 30-minute walk. And on the way back in, I climbed the four flights of stairs back to my loft. When we got to the landing on the 2nd floor, he pulled the leash to the exit door and looked up at me soulfully. My response: “Honey, if I can do it, you can do it.” So we went on up to the 4th floor. He made me laugh. A little energetic Yorkie – less than 2 years old and not overweight. But he did not like climbing those stairs. But I need to tire him out more and I can use the extra exercise. I plan to do it each time we walk, which most times will be 3 times a day. If I have to work too late or can’t make it home for lunch (or only long enough to let him out to potty), then less.

I updated my “To Do List” template. I have kept it at times in the past – just a day to day list of what I need to get done. I do so much better if I stay focused. Too much time on my hands does not work for me. Of course, that is usually not a problem, as much as I work, but I do have more time than I used to since I moved. If I stay focused on a list of things I need to get done, that usually helps. And it certainly helps with the fact that I am organizationally challenged. I still have time to watch some television and read, etc. I even have a nap on my list for Sunday afternoon.

One thing I have put on the list is neck exercises in the morning and low back exercises in the evening. I have never done those consistently. But I should be doing all I can do to make my back better. I don’t know why it is so hard to make myself do them – they are not overly strenuous. When I get my recumbent bike fixed, I will add that in too. I can go to the fitness center at the lofts, too.

I did finally connect with the guy who is supposed to repair my recumbent bike. He has come by to see what parts to order, and that is in process. When the parts come in, he will be back by to fix it. I will be glad to have it back. It is so much easier to get it done at home. I know I overdo the guilt about it, but I already feel like I leave my dog alone too much. It feels bad to leave him more to go to the fitness center. I know that is silly.

I have been toying with the idea of getting a kitten. I am hoping if I started with a kitten, it and my dog would get along and they could be company for each other. I do not want a second dog. Dogs are a lot more work than cats. And I never can tell how my dog is going to react with another dog. Some he is fine with and others he goes ballistic. The last thing I need is fighting dogs to deal with.

I am home now and have been working on my list.  I had some cooking to do tonight, since I had some meat thawed out that needed to be finished up.  I am making some stuffed pasta shells with ground turkey and part skim ricotta.  I am also making up a salad to last me two or three days (depending on if I am having it with a main dish or as my main dish) and some rice to go with some left over stir fry.  I really wasn't in the mood to do this, but once I got going on it, it wasn't as involved as I feared.  I hope this recipe is good.  I had another that I have used in the past, but I can't find it.

Hopefully I will have a little time to relax.  There is no law that says I have to do everything on my list.  It is just a tool to keep me focused.  And it is working as far as keeping from not thinking about eating.  I haven't thought about grazing like I do when I just sit and watch television.

I took Cassie for his third walk for the day and another time up the stairs (he still doesn't like that, lol).  He still has enough energy that he has brought me his rope toy and is "asking" me to play tug of war.  He can resist that face?

Guess I will close now.  Time to give him some attention.

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