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Thursday, August 16, 2012

Super Mom???

Well, everything didn’t go as planned last night on the eating front.  I stopped at Chipotle and got my salad/bowl, as planned.  When I got to the hospital, someone had brought cupcakes and cookies from a bakery and had brought a lime cupcake just for me (lime is one of my favorite flavors).  I had plenty of points available, and I decided to partake.  I also ate about 1/10th of a big M&M cookie.  I counted 16 points for the cupcake and 2 points for the piece of cookie (they are big cookies).  After a little research this morning, I think the points on the cupcake are high, but I would rather count them high than low.

Bottom line is, I really don’t want to eat unplanned things like that.  But, at the same time, life is full of unexpected opportunities and events and you can’t plan everything.  Since I had the points available and I was not eating out of control, I am okay with this.  But I would rather not do it often.  I still have 8 weekly points left, and probably will not use those.

I left work at 6:45 last night and asked my friend if she would send out the last two things I was waiting on my boss for last night (he was on a conference call), and she ended up having to stay until 9:00.  I don’t think she was too happy about it and I don’t want her to have to do that.  She has enough going on in her life too, and has too much stress as it is.  I am trying to make sure someone else can be at the hospital tonight, in case it happens again.  I hate for Stephanie to have to spend most of the day by herself and then no one be there at night either.  I don’t expect them to let her go home today.  Maybe tomorrow, but I won’t be surprised if it is Saturday.  I just need things to get back to normal.  But I can’t let myself get stressed out.  That just has a negative effect on everything.  I am just trying to keep all the balls in the air right now.

I talked to another friend at work about the deal last night and how I felt bad about it.  She has a different opinion of my boss than I do.  She thinks he is extremely selfish and has no respect for other people’s time.  She knows the things he does for me, and she doesn’t think that matters.  I do not feel that way.  And, the thing is, I would rather stay in ignorance and denial about this situation (unless it got a lot worse), because if I start focusing on it with that attitude, I would become extremely unhappy with my job.  I don’t want to live like that.  I can’t find a better job, as far as pay goes, and to me, my boss makes up for the things he asks of me in so many ways.  And I am genuinely fond of my boss and we have a good working relationship.  There may come a time when I have to “demand” that I have certain nights where I am not expected to work late, and I think when I do, he will be fine with that (barring deadlines that have to be met in a law office).  I just have to learn that when things like last night happen, I should not feel overly bad about them.  My friend has offered to stay for me when I cannot, and I think my daughter being in the hospital is a good enough “excuse” to ask.  I do feel bad that she was not happy about it.  I will offer to help her so she can leave early sometime soon.

I am sincerely hoping that Stephanie doesn’t lose her job over this.  It’s not like she could do anything differently.  You can’t postpone getting treatment for a blocked intestine until a more convenient time.  And the fact that she struggled between the first surgery and the second was not her fault either.  She kept telling her doctors she didn’t feel right, and they kept telling her she was just still recovering from the first time it happened.  Stephanie did her best not to miss work and to make up for being gone to doctor’s appointments by working through her lunch, etc., but bottom line, employers just want you there.  I hope they will continue to be understanding.

This morning, for breakfast, I stopped at the cafeteria at the hospital and got me an omelet with deli ham, spinach, onion, bell pepper, mushroom and a little cheese.  It was soooo good.  That and a banana was breakfast.  The plan for lunch today was exactly like yesterday.  However, it didn’t appeal to me much when it came time to eat, so I went and got me some chicken tortilla soup from a Mexican restaurant nearby, and will have the other for lunch tomorrow.  When you get the soup to go, they don’t assemble it, so the tortilla strips were on the side, and so was the cheese.  This way I had a better idea of how much was in it.  I only used about one-fourth of the tortilla strips, and there was about 2 tablespoons of shredded cheese in it.  The soup itself was more like a chicken vegetable, so the points on all of it added together came out to 11.  The same type of soup at On the Border has 13 points, and it has rice and avocados in it.  This had neither.  I had some 1% cottage cheese with me, so also had that to bump my protein a little, and some fruit with that was lunch.

It is not looking like I will have to work late, so that is good.

My clothes are looking pretty loose.  It will be interesting to see what the scale says on Saturday (or whenever I get to weigh).

Some friends came to visit Stephanie late last evening, so I took that opportunity to go back to the hotel and get to bed.  As I was leaving, the woman said, “Good night, Supermom.”  I don’t feel much like a Supermom, but I do try my best to keep everyone taken care of, sometimes to my own detriment.  But really, what choice do I have?  I have to keep working – there is no one else to provide for me.  I’m not going to leave my daughter uncared for when she is seriously sick.  That’s her dad, not me.  I have no choice but to keep going.  I am trying my best to take care of myself during all of this, but sometimes the road just gets tough and you just have to keep going until things settle down again.  If that’s a Supermom, then I guess that’s what I am.  But I think it is what most moms do.

Okay, I am going to finish out my day and try to stay awake.  I almost fell asleep driving to work this morning.  Kind of scared myself.  I’m trying to get enough sleep; this whole situation is just tiring.  No rest for the weary for a couple of weeks, so I will just have to get through.

1 comment:

  1. It's hard when unexpected treats pop up - if you have the calories/points available and want to indulge, then do so...and don't feel bad about it.

    And on your boss vs. your friend's opinion, only you know how it's working out for you - yes, it looks very intense to those of us on the outside, but you said that you can go in later on mornings after you've stayed late, and once you live closer, I hope you take advantage of that. Plus, like you said, you are well-paid, and that speaks volumes to a big reason to stay. And if you're not really unhappy, then why rock the boat?

    Lots of advice from an unemployed person, right?

    Anyway, hope you get some rest!

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