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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Stress, Stress and More Stress

I’m tired.  And I am having to be self-motivated at work today, and it’s difficult.  There is so much to do and little help (outside of work).  The thought just occurred to me – what if I switched one of my days off and took another day before the move, instead of after.  As I was mulling all this over, I found out I am going to have to leave work to take my daughter to a doctor’s appointment, so she can get back to work as soon as she can.  We are very worried about her losing her job.  I guess I better just leave things as they are.  Why oh why do we have doctors in Plano when we live in Midlothian?  This is killing me.

I finished under my points allowance yesterday.  I had actually finished eating for the day and realized I was still hungry.  I didn’t really know where I was on points, but I knew I had not overdone.  I kind of gave in and had some frozen yogurt my daughter had gotten and not eaten.  But I tracked it this morning, and I was still under my allowance, so that is good.

I have cooked all three nights after work this week, and I think last night’s meal will be the last big meal I cook in my house.  We have leftovers to eat on and I need to start getting packed up.  The rest of the time we will either fix easy things (sandwiches or whatever) or grab something out.  I need to have things ready so that movers can just pick up boxes and go and don’t need more messes to clean up from cooking.

My stress level is not good.  I am pretty worried about Stephanie’s job.  When I talk about this to anyone, nobody says much to make me feel any better.  If she loses it, this is the worst possible time.  They have already signed a lease for their apartment and I have signed mine for the loft.  Bethany could not handle the apartment without a roommate, so it is essential that Stephanie keep her job.  We just don’t have much control over it.  It’s not like she is doing this on purpose.  I am just hoping they will remain patient.  When I think about this too much, I get so stressed, I start having to take deep breaths to calm myself down.  What is the worst thing that could happen?  They can’t move to their apartment and they come live at the loft with me until Stephanie gets another job.  Perhaps their apartment owners would be a little understanding about the situation.

The rest is stressful, but it does not affect me like this does.  I just have to get through the next week.  The thing is, when I get so worked up about the situation, my stomach gets all tied up in knots, and I don’t want to eat things like salad.  I want to eat comforting things.  So I am really trying to keep a lid on it.  I sit and consciously take deep breaths and pray and try to calm myself down.  I don’t know what else to do.  I just have to take it as it comes.

Honestly, I am hoping I don’t have to come back after this doctor’s appointment.  I am not counting on it, but I am hoping.

Except for drinking two SF Red Bulls, I am on track so far today.  Planning on keeping it that way and beating this stress.  That’s all for today.

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