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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Life is a Little Overwhelming Right Now

worked until 11:00 last night.  It was tough.  As I wrote last night, I did not go get me a sandwich and ate a WW dinner that was in the freezer.  I had that and the rest of the grapes I had brought yesterday.  I was still hungry afterward and fought it for a while, but the longer we stayed, the hungrier I was and the more tempted I was to overeat.  There are things to eat here and there in the office.  A friend of mine keeps some granola bars for just such times (for everyone) and there were things in the refrigerator that belonged to other people, and candy in the mail room.  Of course, I did not want to eat other people’s food, but it’s tough when you are hungry!  I had about 106 calories left (of 1500) and was trying to think of something I could do.  I decided to make my limit 1600 for yesterday (I had been planning to set it there anyway, and my BodyMedia armband kept defaulting it back to 1500, so I decided to leave it there).  I ate one of the packages of granola bars my friend keeps, which was 190 calories.  So I came in just under 1600.  I am okay with that.  It took some discipline to stop there, because I still felt hungry, but I did.

I dropped by the grocery store on the way to work this morning and picked up a couple of things to help.  I bought some baby carrots, a bag of salad, a package of the 100-calorie packs of guacamole, some Newman’s Own Light Balsamic Vinaigrette and some strawberries.  I don’t like bagged salad that much, but it will do in a pinch (and it’s not like I had time to make a salad last night or this morning).  This way I can have a salad with my sandwich, if I want one.  The last couple of days I have been getting a roasted chicken breast sandwich with some avocado (looks like guacamole to me), instead of cheese, at Subway.  I decided to get the 100-calorie packs of guacamole because I could save some money spreading the guacamole on myself and I had better control over portion that way.  I can use the Newman’s Own dressing both for my salad, and to jazz up my sandwich a little more, if I want to.  I have the baby carrots to go with my salad or to snack on, if I need them.  I feel a little more prepared for nights like last night now.  The WW dinner I ate last night was not mine, so I bought one this morning to replace it so the person who brought it would have it when they needed it.  I am pretty sure it has been in the freezer for a few weeks.  (I hope that wasn’t overstepping, but I think it was okay in a pinch.  I wouldn’t mind someone doing that as long as they replaced it before I needed it.)

I am blowing the “don’t have time to work out” excuse out of the water.  I worked until 11:00 p.m. last night (a 15-hour day because I had meals at my desk), got home around 11:45, got to bed around midnight and fell asleep sometime after that (it took a little while).  But my alarm went off at 4:45 a.m., I turned over and snoozed a little more and got up at around 5:15.  I was on my bike at 5:30 a.m. and finished my workout by 6:00.  I cannot use these days as an excuse to not work out, because they happen too often.  This is too important.  I hoped I would have the opportunity today to take a little nap in the extra office.  It didn’t happen.  It always depends on when Jerry gets there and gets rolling.  Lots of times he comes in close to Noon, ready to work, when I have been here since 8:00 a.m.  By then I am ready for my lunch!

I certainly don’t want to work this much forever, but the case we are working on is at a busy stage (to say the least) and I have extra expenses with moving and helping Stephanie with her medical bills.  So the OT does come in handy.  Jerry tells me these long hours will have a big payoff someday.  He paid off his former assistant’s car when a big case they were working on settled favorably for us and our client.  Plus he takes care of me here and there by handing me cash and taking me to plays and music events, etc. (all in an honorable, upright manner).  Sometimes we attend these events with him and his wife and/or kids, and sometimes it is three of four of us from the office.  He expects a lot out of you, but he is the most generous man I have ever met.  Sometimes, for example, if he finds out I am going to a movie, he gives me a $50 bill to cover it.  And his confidence in me means a lot.  He is the big reason I started regaining my confidence after my divorce.

I didn’t realize it, but the guacamole I bought was spicy.  It certainly added a lot of flavor to my sandwich.  I also put a little of the Newman’s Own on it.  It was very tasty.  I had some baby carrots both in the morning and afternoon when I got hungry.  I worked until after 7:30, then had some difficulties leaving work, so didn’t get home until after 8:30, by the time I stopped for my sandwich.  I ate my sandwich and chips.  I still feel a little hungry, but it is so late, I think I will leave it at that.  I have about 50-60 calories left.

I have been kind of “down” this afternoon and evening.  I think I am just tired and feeling a little overwhelmed.  I will be okay tomorrow.  At least I didn’t have to work quite so late tonight.  It just goes to show, I can stay on track even when I am not feeling “up” and really motivated.  I know what to do and I do it.  It doesn’t matter how I feel.  If it were earlier, I would do a workout and it would probably help, but I am too tired.  I need to catch up on some sleep.

I just had another encounter with my daughter and now am feeling really overwhelmed.  Why does life have to be so hard?  Sorry.  I know it will get better.  I am just trying to deal with it all.

That’s all.  I’m going to bed now.  Good night all.

2 comments:

  1. Dang, Sheryl - I'm impressed that you woke up early to exercise after that long day! Big, big kudos to you for that! :)

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  2. I realized a while back that I get a lot more out of the 30-minute workout than I do from one more hour of (usually bad) sleep. Bad because my alarm has already gone off and I fight with myself. It's a good thing I'm a morning person! (Too bad my boss is not!)

    Thanks, Shelley. Just read about your first 10-mile run. And I love your Friday fashion thing. (I'm not sure if you still do that, since I am still reading archives.) I can't wait to get to looking good in clothes. Your blog keeps me dreaming.

    ReplyDelete

I welcome your comments and read every one! However, if you are trying to sell me or my readers something, your comment will be deleted posthaste. Thanks for reading my blog and I hope you receive encouragement from it. --Sheryl