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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Tests and Answers

I am sitting in the waiting room at a medical facility, waiting on another one of my daughter’s tests.  Sure hope they figure out what is wrong with her.  This has been a stressful week, and an expensive one.  It’s a good thing I am working so much…but I’m tired!

The encounter with my daughter last night was a discussion trying to decide if I needed to take her to this testing.  I tried to arrange it for her brother to take her (who was not working this morning), but she did not feel comfortable with that.  Long story…nothing to do with my son, but things my daughter has been through.  I want to be there for her, but at the same time, things at work are pretty demanding and it is hard for me to ask off.  I just missed a half day Friday.  My boss is pretty demanding right now – not in a negative way; there is just so much going on and he needs me.  I think he is feeling pretty overwhelmed and tired, too.  He is a brilliant attorney, and evidently a lot of people agree, since he is so busy.  He is lead attorney on a huge case (really, a whole bunch of cases that are intertwined).  There is a lot for him to oversee and handle.  Everything comes to a climax early next year, so we are in the process of completing discovery, depositions, etc.  He also has a couple of pro bono clients whose cases are requiring a lot of him.  And he is charging them nothing.  He is that kind of man.  Can you tell I admire him very much?  I am not in love with my boss, but I sure would like to find someone like him in a lot of ways.  He seems to be a wonderful husband and an awesome father (his kids are grown).  Anyway, I digress.  That is the reason I feel stressed about asking off work.

This morning we were getting off to come here and as soon as I opened the front door, Cassie (my Yorkie) shot out the door and down the street.  It took us 15 minutes to round him up and get him back in the house.  My daughter had to do a little driving around to try to find him because we lost sight of him.  (I am going to get him microchipped!)  We finally got him corralled, took off toward the first stop, the gas station, and got a half mile outside of our neighborhood and ran out of gas!  (This is my daughter’s car and her responsibility to keep it gassed up, so at least that wasn’t my fault.)  She walked back to the house to get the gas can (hoping there was some in it, but there was not).  I flagged down a car (we didn’t have time to wait for my auto help service) and asked if they could take her to fill up the gas can.  (It was nice woman – it happened to be her birthday and she was headed off for some “gaming” –going to find her and take her some cookies or something.)  She took Steph to get gas, we got going, stopped to get more gas, and then I drove like a maniac to get here.  So it wasn’t a stress-free morning, for sure.

These are the times that could really throw me off track in the past, if I let them.  This should all smooth out soon – at least part of it – so I just have to ride it out.  Eating too much and not taking care of myself will only make me feel worse.  These are the things I do for me.  I just have to keep that at the front of my mind.

I did do my workout this morning.  It’s a weekday morning, so no excuse not to.  I did the hills workout on my bike.  It was easy!  Too easy.  Will have to bump it up next time.  I guess that’s a good problem to have.

I did some reading about whether you could run after knee replacement surgery.  The answer is no.  It is because it will break down the components of the artificial knee and they are released into your system.  I hope that after weight loss, maybe I will not need a knee replacement.  But it is probably not very realistic to think I can be a runner, with or without a knee replacement.  I will have to compete in other ways.  I am going to have to focus on bike riding, I guess.  I always wanted to become a runner.  Have you ever seen a fat marathon runner?  Few and far between.  Lol.

I’m going to close now.  Stephanie is done with her procedure and I am waiting for her to wake up a little and for the doctor to let us know results.  Then I will head to work.  I am betting it will be a late night.  I think my boss is going to a Rangers game tomorrow night, so I should get off on time then.  Probably will be a late one Friday night.  My life is a marathon.  Too bad not the kind that burns a lot of calories.  Life is full of tests.   How I handle them is what is important.

P.S.  Just heard from the doctor – she has a severe case of gastritis and some small places in her stomach akin to ulcers.  She said what she saw certainly would have produced the symptoms Steph has been having.  There is some other stuff to deal with (the raised liver enzymes), but she said they would deal with these later – they are not urgent like this situation was.  They could have some to do with her needing to lose weight (which she is working on).  Not pancreatitis, thank the Lord!!!!  We are just glad to have some answers.


It is 10:18 p.m. and I am still at work.  I am really tired.  It is times like these when I start to feeling kind of sorry for myself and I want to eat.  I am not, but that is what I want to do.  I counted up my calories and I had 1485 for the day.  There is a huge jar of Jelly Belly jelly beans in the mail room.  I figured it up once and they have about 4 calories apiece.  I ate 3 of them.  Still under 1500 calories!  Lol.  That alarm is going to feel extra early in the morning.  But I can't use it as an excuse or I will never get this job done.  I am happy that I am seeing a difference in the way I look and I want that to continue.


  1. "Eating too much and not taking care of myself will only make me feel worse. These are the things I do for me. I just have to keep that at the front of my mind."

    These kinds of changes in your thinking will keep you on this journey. After 5 years of this I have become convinced that it's our thoughts, more than anything else, that are at the core of success. Thoughts, behavior. That's it. Keep it up!

  2. Thanks, Michelle. I totally agree. I see my old thinking try to rise up when I am tired or feeling sorry for myself. Funny how we think eating a bunch of food is being good to ourselves. We think it will comfort. But it doesn't.


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