I am struggling a little right now. I am not struggling, too much, with staying on plan. Just struggling with life in general. I think I am just tired.
Do you ever have those times when you just want to cry, but you don’t really know why? That’s how I am today. And there is nothing really wrong that I can point at. Everything is going pretty good. Again, I think I am just tired. And probably menopausal. Lol. I think I am through the worst of menopause (I certainly hope so). There were times the last couple of years I felt like I was losing my mind.
I will say that in times past, if I was going through a patch like this one, I probably would have fallen off the wagon. I think this 500 days concept has kept me on track (I just have to do what I did yesterday and if I do that enough times, I will get where I want to go). And I think this blog is keeping me on track. If I look at the bigger picture, I might be tempted to give up at times like these. But if I just stay focused on what I need to get done today, I can do it.
I got off at a halfway reasonable hour yesterday – 7:00 p.m. It is kind of sad when an 11 hour day is considered getting off at a reasonable time, but that’s life right now. I could have done a workout when I got home, but honestly, I was just too tired. I was extra careful to make sure my calories were on track since I wouldn’t have the added bonus of burning more calories. And my armband showed I burned about as many calories as I usually do. Honestly, I don't really know how accurate it is. But it does motivate you to do more.
This morning, again, I was really tired and I did not want to work out. When I feel like that, I tell myself I don’t have to do a hard workout. I just need to get on the bike for 30 minutes and do an “easy pedal” while I am watching TV. Usually when I do that, I start feeling better as I get into the workout. And I did. Not enough to do a hard core workout, but I kept it up at a respectable speed throughout and I even did some “rolling hills” of my own by bumping up the resistance 1 each minute and then back down, for a couple of “sets.” I am satisfied enough with that. I know my motivation to do more will come back soon.
This morning, I had Greek yogurt/Kashi GoLean cereal/banana for breakfast again. It was a little tart yesterday and I would have liked it better with a little more cereal, but that adds quite a few calories. I decided this morning to add a touch of honey (a teaspoon or less) to the yogurt before putting in the cereal and banana. That was only 20 extra calories and added just enough sweetness to satisfy me. And the meal itself seems to be satisfying me more than yesterday. I was fine until lunch. (Yesterday I ended up eating a protein bar mid-morning).
Okay, I wanted to share some “new” products I picked up at Costco this weekend.
These are not over-the-top delicious – they are not very sweet – but they are good and satisfy a taste for a cold treat, while still giving you some good nutrition. Each bar has 70 calories, 6 grams of protein, and 0 grams of fat. I do not like these so much that I am in danger of consuming several at one sitting, like I have been known to do with other “diet” treats, but it does satisfy an urge for something cold and creamy (and a little bit sweet).
I just need to not sit down with a big bag of it, as I am very capable of finishing a good part of the whole thing in a certain mood.
I had the orange flavor this morning, and I swear it tasted almost like Orange Crush. I haven’t tried the pink lemonade flavor yet – I have heard that some people don’t care for it. I will see next time.
I was going through some of my bathroom cabinets, seeing what is there. I need to downsize before I move. Some of the stuff I had forgotten I had. I used to sell Avon and I had some skin care products down there I forgot about. I am going to make use of those. I also had lotions and Footworks products (partial bottles and tubes). I need to finish those up and pare down what I have. I was also going through my medicine cabinet. There were quite a few supplements, etc. I found a probiotic in there (which I actually need; pain medication can really slow you down! sorry for the TMI). I also found a menopause supplement. I might as well use that up. If it makes a difference, maybe I will buy some more.
In the loft I am moving to, there are two bathrooms, but only one bedroom. Storage will be an issue. But there is quite a bit of storage in the bathrooms. I probably will be storing some stuff in both bathrooms that are not traditionally stored in the bathroom. I opted for only one bedroom and a lot more living space, rather than vice versa. All of the kids will live very close, so I really don't need room for them to stay over, except possibly on Christmas Eve or something like that. And the living space will be big enough that we can throw down some air mattresses for extra sleeping (plus I have two sofas). The biggest reason I chose the floor plan I did was because it had a lot of kitchen for the price range I wanted. Living alone, I don't need that much bedroom space. It's not like now when I go to my bedroom to be alone. I can be alone in the whole apartment. I wanted plenty of space to store my kitchen tools, etc. And there will be more space for entertaining, which I hope to do more of.
It is evening now and I am having to work late. In fact, my boss went to an appointment and will be back at 7:15. I think it will be a late one. I have eaten my sandwich, et al. I think I have some more calories left. I am feeling a little dangerous. I have been tempted to eat to soothe something inside of me (I don't know what), but so far haven't acted on it other than to eat what I planned to. Let's hope I can make it through tonight. Now I am going to walk over to Subway to get my boss a sandwich for when he gets back. I brought my stuff from home and made mine. I am feeling pretty tired, so may have to drink another "round" of ZipFizz. It's okay to do that, but I wouldn't want to do it every day.
Praying that I make it through tonight....
I added up and I still had 318 calories left! So I was able to have something more to eat that hopefully will get me satisfied for the rest of the day. Thank the Lord.