I'm afraid I wasn't very successful the second half of yesterday. I worked until almost 12:30 last night. I was past the resentment by that time. It occurs to me that I should probably watch what I say. You never know who could read this blog. But hopefully I have made it clear that I think the world of my boss. He just has a blind spot at times (when he's overwhelmed with work). I wish we had more backup help at work. We have a skeleton staff, so when one person is gone, it means quite a load for the rest (depending on which person is gone; I would venture to guess I have the heaviest work load, except for my backup – she is admin and has to wear many hats; that’s one reason why I hate to be gone because it makes too much work for her). They did bring on a new girl this week (another one who refused to carry her load was fired). She is willing to help and once she learns about our cases, etc., I think she will be a much-needed help. It would be wonderful to have someone else to help carry things when things like this happen.
I was sitting at the desk last night and caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the window (in the high rise I work in). This is not the first time and I have to say this is a negative that provides a measure of motivation. I don’t usually like negative motivation – it usually does more harm than good – I will use this image to remind me that I don’t want to look like this anymore. I have to say, the image looks a LITTLE better than the last time. Maybe update pictures will be in order in the future.
I hope today will be a little easier because I don’t have to juggle responsibilities between work and my daughter. I slept pretty late. I bought some Tylenol PM last night and took it right before I got to the hospital. I went to sleep fairly quickly and didn’t wake up until after 10:00. I went downstairs and got a yogurt parfait and a banana and a bottle of water. That was good, but by a little after Noon, I was hungry again. They don’t have the full healthy fare on the weekend that they have at lunch, but it is such a hassle to leave the hospital, so I got one slice of cheese pizza. It was good and I feel satisfied.
I hadn’t been focused on this the last couple of days, but the good news is my pain level has been pretty good lately. I can walk with little pain at all. Hopefully that continues and I can start at least walking my dog and building from there. (I miss my doggie! The little ornery thing.)
One last picture. This is my beautiful Steph when she is feeling better.
I will close with this. I have struggled the last few days with all that is going on and the time spent in the hospital and trying to manage work and everything. I have tripped up. But that doesn’t mean I cannot pick right back up and continue my journey. This is temporary and these things will happen throughout life. This is a lifestyle, not a diet. I just need to do damage control and then get right back to what has been working for me. I will probably give myself a pass on weigh-in this week. This blog gives me a way to vent and also keeps my eye on where I want to go. So I will report back. Through the failures and the victories.