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Saturday, June 2, 2012

Happy Birthday A Day Early (June 2, 2012)

It's been a good day.  I slept late because I worked until 12:15 a.m. and got home a little before 1:00 a.m.  I sat up trying to watch a little TV -- I like to wind down a little before going to bed, if I can -- and I kept falling asleep, so I was in bed before 2:00.  Slept pretty good and got up around 10:00, I think.  Getting up means I moved to my chair in my room.  I turned on my TV and promptly fell back asleep and dozed for a while. 

My daughter came in after a while and we discussed our plans.  We were going out to eat for my birthday dinner.  Since it is near where my youngest daughter works and she had to work until 1:00, we decided it was best to go on and meet her there when she got off work.  That was about 11:00.  I still had not done a workout and I am determined I am going to get 4 done this weekend, so I knew I had better get a move-on.

For some reason, that Saturday morning workout is hard for me to get done.  I have pushed and pushed all week, and I am not in the mood to push on Saturday morning.  I had wanted to go walk on my trail this morning, but I had to hurry and get my workout done before we left for lunch, so I did a workout on my bike.  I didn't do any intervals, but my speed was better this time and I finished the 6 miles in 29 minutes, instead of 31 or 31.5.  After I hit 6 miles, I bumped my resistance down some and finished the last minute at a cool-down pace.

So I got a bath and got ready to get off for my birthday lunch.  We went to The Porch in Dallas.  My friend recommended it.  It was soooooo good.  We were ordering our drinks and I was thinking I would splurge for my birthday, and started to order lemonade.  Then I thought, no, I really do not want to drink my calories, so I changed it to water.  I am glad I did.  The lemonade would not have been worth all the added calories.  First, we shared an appetizer of brisket sliders.  There were 3 sliders on the plate, so we each got one.  (I wasn't able to get in touch with my son, so he wasn't with us.)  They were so good.  Smoked brisket with barbecue sauce, cole slaw and a horseradish pickle slice on a brioche roll.  Yum!  Just the right combination of flavors and textures.  For my entree I ordered smoked brisket enchiladas.  It comes with 2 enchiladas on a small bed of Spanish rice.  We also ordered a side of their smoked ham macaroni and cheese (OMG, soooo good!), which we shared between the three of us.  I only ate one of my enchiladas and had the other for dinner.  It was not a bad looking serving -- was not dripping in a bunch of cheese or anything.  For dessert, we ordered their gooey butter cake and shared it between the 3 of us.  It was not a big serving, so it was only a very small serving of dessert when divided by 3.  I was very satisfied and not too full.  Will definitely be going there again on splurge day!  So good!  And I didn't have to pay for it!!!

After that, we went to Sprouts to stock up on some fruits and vegetables.  My daughter is doing some kind of special cleansing diet for the next 9 days and most of what she gets to eat is fruits and vegetables.  I am glad to have them around for me too.  After that, they went to work out at their gym and I went on toward home, but stopped at Wal-Mart for things we needed.  When I got up from the table at the restaurant earlier, my pain level was definitely up from the last few days.  When I was walking around Wal-Mart, the thing where the pain goes down my left leg and explodes in the back of my calf was hitting me again.  I was moving very slow and with a very big limp.  Wal-Mart Supercenter is a huge place to walk around, and it was kind of tough.  I got that done and went home.  The girls were not home yet and we had all the fruits and vegetables from Sprouts in the car and the things I got from Wal-Mart, which included some frozen food, so I had to bring it all in myself.  I got that done, put away the frozen foods, and collapsed in the chair.  I didn't feel like I got much dessert for my birthday lunch, and I still wanted some, so I splurged a little more with some dulce de leche ice cream.  I ate that, and that had to be it!

I started typing this blog without my glasses (I need them for reading), and before long, I had a bad headache.  I took something for it and fell asleep.  It didn't seem like I ever went sound asleep, but when I woke up, it was 8:30 p.m.!  I got up and ate the rest of my enchilada.  That was enough and that should be all I eat today.  Tomorrow it is back on my regular plan.  (More about that in a bit.)

I have mentioned that I am very motivated by numbers.  I was thinking today how hard it is to get myself to do that Saturday morning workout.  But if I am determined to get 4 workouts done on a weekend, I have to get that one done or it not going to happen.  So I was thinking that first one is the most important one.  But, if I don't do the third one, I won't get 4 done either.  So which is the most important workout?  The NEXT one.

I got my second workout done.  My speed is increasing a bit.  I did not do any intervals again, but I finished the 6 miles in about 28 minutes and I cooled down for the last couple of minutes.  I rode a total of 6.58 miles.  Not too bad.  For some reason, my armband does not pick up my bike workout as my "physical activity."  It picks up the burned calories, but it seems to look for walking or something as my workout.  I still need to take more steps.  I am meeting my calorie burn, according to this, and that is what is important.  But I will be glad when I can pick it up a bit.  It finally logged that I had more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep.  It said I had about 7 between last night and my nap.  It says my resting heart rate is 69.  I looked that up, and that is in the "Above Average" range (that is good).  My heart rate measured 152 in my workout, if my bike was accurate.  That's pretty good.

I thought of one thing I can do to add to my workouts.  I can either do this at the same time I am on the bike (we will see how it works), or separately.  I have some elastic bands the physical therapist gave me.  I am going to put them on my doorknob and do some of the exercises with that (seated row, bicep curls, etc.).  I think I can do it while sitting on the bike.  I also bought a 5-pound weight (I only bought one -- will buy another next paycheck -- trying to spread out cost), and I can do some weight work while riding my bike.  I will do it one arm at a time until I get the other weight.  That should bump up my workout and do some toning at the same time.  I want to get some nice "guns".  (More about that in a minute, too.)

A few weeks ago, for some reason, I looked at my ex's Facebook page.  I won't say what I was looking for, but anyway, I did.  It stirred up a bunch of negative feelings in me and I felt depressed.  He is remarried, and for some reason it brought up these feelings of being unworthy or cast aside (even though I am the one who left the marriage).  I began to have those old feelings about myself -- that I am just an overweight, lazy woman, cowering inside of myself and afraid to take up for myself or to participate in life.  I can't explain it.  I then realized I was seeing myself through my ex's "glasses," so to speak.  Looking at myself, that is not who I am.  When I truly examine myself, I like who I am.  I have some things to work on, but I like who I am.  I do not like the person behind my ex's glasses.  That day, I typed up some affirmations of myself on an index card and I began to read it over to myself when I think about it, to reinforce positive thoughts about myself.  Something rose up in me yesterday, and I resolved that I would never feel that way again and I will never allow him to make me feel that way again.  I vowed that next time I see him, I will be the strong one.  I will be so settled in who I am and proud (in the right kind of way) of who I am and I will never again allow him to make me cower within myself or feel unworthy.  This doesn't have as much to do with him, as my attitude toward myself.  I am truly a strong woman, and when I finish the journey, I will be an even stronger woman.  (And next time he sees me, I plan to have killer "guns" and legs to go along with this inwardly strong woman.)  It is time I quit seeing myself through his filter or anyone else's filter.

My boss gave me a very sweet birthday card last night (along with a very nice amount of money for my birthday) and said I was doing a great job for him and a great job "holding my family together."  It meant a lot to me.  And my girls gave me a card today that brought tears to my eyes.  They also gave me a Rangers t-shirt (Hamilton, my favorite player) to wear to the game we got tickets to for my birthday (even though we are going on the 22nd).  It's kind of nice when your kids are growing up.

I think I am going to save the money my boss gave me to go toward things I might need when I move.  What I might need depends on what floor plan I end up getting.  If I get one that has less storage in the kitchen, I might need to buy a buffet so I have somewhere to store some of my kitchen stuff.  But if I get a floor plan with more kitchen, I might want some new endtables and coffee table for my living room.  3 more months and I am moving downtown!  I can't wait!!!  No more 35 minute drives home after a 16-hour workday.  I can walk a block down the street and be home.

Oh yeah!  I almost forgot to report!!!  I lost 4 pounds this week!  That makes almost 17 in all.  Not bad for a month.  I wish it could go that fast the entire journey, but I am realistic enough to know that is probably not going to happen.  But I have passed my first 10% goal.  My first intermediate goal is to lose 40 pounds by the time I move.  That will put me back to the weight I maintained for a while.  So I am almost halfway to my intermediate goal.  Yay!!!  Hopefully I will have no problem getting the other 23 pounds off by September 1.

I am changing my plan for June only in that if I want to eat something besides Subway and have the energy to cook, then I can substitute that for my Subway meals.  I will keep doing the Subway meals when I am busy and not feeling up to cooking.  It is a good, convenient plan where I don't have to spend a lot of time preparing meals.  And as much as I am working, I don't have much time to do that.  I can also get a meal out somewhere else, as long as I stay in my calorie range.  I am going to up my calories to 1500 per day, if I feel like I need it.  I have been averaging around 1350 before.

Okay, this blog has gone on long enough.  Good night all!

P.S.   I have been meaning to say.  I would welcome constructive comments.  My statistics show that my blog is being read, but I am not getting any comments.  I realized the other day my settings were set so that only those with gmail credentials (I think) could comment.  I changed that so everyone can comment (comments will be moderated).  But I would welcome feedback.  Thanks -- Sheryl

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I welcome your comments and read every one! However, if you are trying to sell me or my readers something, your comment will be deleted posthaste. Thanks for reading my blog and I hope you receive encouragement from it. --Sheryl