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Thursday, May 10, 2012

Sometimes You Just Need Some Pampering (May 10, 2012)

I was hungry again today! It was almost lunchtime and I was getting ideas of eating off plan. I decided I could hold off, but made sure I was going to get my lunch right on time! So far, this really has been more about hunger than cravings. It is usually the cravings that kill me. The last couple of days, someone has left cookies in the break room. So far I haven’t been really tempted to partake. But that’s one reason I want to take care of hunger as soon as I can before cravings start to pile on.
I was struggling with a moderate headache today (and yesterday). My other pain was pretty good until, at about 2:00 p.m., it hit me and I felt like I had waited too long before I took any pain meds. I was so busy, it crept up on me . I do not take pain meds for a headache, but having a headache all the time can mess with your motivation (about everything). I find myself wanting to eat to comfort myself. I have to keep reminding myself that I will not get better unless I stay on plan and get this weight off. So far, it is working. And it is true. Food provides momentary comfort, but the problems it has created are definitely not worth it.
I am hopeful that when I lose weight and do not have to take any more pain meds, my chronic headaches will get better. I likely will still have them more than the average person, because when I am sick, that is where I feel it first a lot of times. I remember when I was a teenager I was having a headache all the time. My mom took me to the doctor and they were looking for all these reasons why I might be having a headache and finding nothing. The doctor even asked me if I had broken up with my boyfriend or something and that is why my head hurt. I kept telling him no, no, no. Finally, he decided to check for one more thing – a urinary tract infection. Turns out, that is what it was. I had no other symptoms other than a headache.
Back to my hopes that losing weight will eventually help – a part of me “knows” that I will probably always struggle with them, barring divine intervention. I definitely hope I am wrong. It is not that I want to expect the worst. But I want to learn how to handle them – what sets them off, what helps the most, what I should avoid doing. It has always seemed to be tension related – tight muscles in my neck and shoulders. I have this theory, though, that exercise seems to help them. I went for a year or so when I was not having them and that is the year I was working out two and three times a day a lot of the time. I thought I was able to work out because my head was not hurting. But maybe my head was not hurting because I was working out. It makes sense. It eases tension and stress, so perhaps the muscles were not so tense. Right now I feel like someone is stabbing me between the shoulder blades. Maybe I will take a long hot bath when I get home. And maybe it is time to get those chair massages once a week or so….
I was feeling the desire to pamper myself in some way tonight (non-food). That doesn’t happen very often.  I took a warm bubble bath.  I wish I had thought to turn out the lights and light the candles and have some soft classical music in the background.  Think I will do that this weekend when all the kids are gone. 

Anyway, the headache is gone.  Sometimes it just takes getting away from the computer (the one at work).  Going to go to bed now.  Took a muscle relaxant and am going to fall asleep on the heating pad.  Hopefully that will help to not have a repeat tomorrow.

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