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Saturday, May 26, 2012

Some Thoughts About Gluttony, Among Other Things (May 26, 2012)

I slept until 10:30 this morning.  10:30!  I guess I was really tired.
My nephew, Jared, and his new bride’s (Kari) wedding was very sweet.  I am so glad I got to go and it was nice to see family.  I got to visit with one of my sisters (mother of the groom) and my brother for a little while.  But I had to leave before the festivities were completely over.  I was just worn out.  No way I felt I should do a workout when I got home.  9 workouts is good and I need to not be such a perfectionist.

Weddings have a strange effect on me since my divorce.  Listening to the vows, I sometimes feel guilty.  I am a committed Christian and I believe in the importance and sanctity of marriage.  I believe in “until death do you part.”  I wish the Bible had more (or something) to say about abuse in marriages.  When I hear the vows about “for better or worse” – vows I took – I sometimes feel guilty.  However, I do not believe God intended me to live in “hell” for the rest of my life.  The covenant of marriage was broken long before I decided to leave, and I was not the one who broke it.  I stayed in it as long as I could (probably longer than I should have), until it was becoming dangerous and detrimental to me and my children.  My ex will tell you a far different story, but that was part of the abuse.  He was delusional.  So, once again, I have to talk myself out of these feelings of guilt.  The fact that I have guilt proves that I believe in the covenant of marriage.  Perhaps if my husband had kept the vows he made, I would not have had to leave.  Being “faithful” means so much more than being monogamous.  I will stop there, but there is so much more to the story, and I suppose I will be dealing with the effects for the rest of my life.
This morning was weigh-in and my weight was 287.6, a loss of .8.  I have no explanation for that except that the body just does that sometimes.  I weighed less than that earlier in the week.  I did not vary from my plan.  And I am obviously smaller and clothes fitting looser.  So it will show up on the scale at some point.

I have not done a workout yet today.  I still might get two done, but may not do but one.  I was really tired and sometimes you have to listen to your body.  But sitting around too much is not helpful, so I will have to be careful.

I have a pretty moderate headache at the moment.  Sometimes it is all about neck position and keeping those muscles relaxed.  I put my neck collar on, and that will help, and also took a half of a muscle relaxant.  (The picture shows my neck collar that I have had since my neck surgery.  I do not have to wear it now, but I find it helps remind me to keep my neck in the right position.  So I put it on when the headache started getting worse.  Sorry, I look pretty rough in the picture, but hey, it’s Saturday at home!)
I went back to my chair after putting on my collar, and this is what I found.  The little devil.  This is what he did to my shoe last night.  It’s not his fault.  I should have put my shoes up where he could not get to them and he is not being walked like he should be to help drain his energy.  He was cooped up at home all by himself yesterday and it is no wonder he is looking for ways to amuse himself.  I will be so glad when I can get to where I can walk him – and rollerblade him and jog him!  Lol.  He will behave better then.  Maybe I can get to where at least I can take him around with a bicycle.  I am not sure if that will be harder or easier than walking.  It is a little less weight bearing than walking, but a little more strenuous.

My wedding anniversary is in 2 days.  Don’t really feel anything about that except so glad I am free from certain situations.  It would have been 29 years.  (I hope to find my soul mate one of these days and have a marriage like I always wanted.)  The other thing is, a week from Sunday is my 52nd birthday.  I’ve been thinking I might buy a few “splurgy” things for myself.  Some perfume, some costume jewelry, a little bit higher quality bubble bath than I have, etc.  Nothing terribly expensive, but fun.  I have worked hard and it’s my birthday.  So I can do that for myself.  (I was raised to be pretty frugal, so this is hard for me sometimes.)

My son is having a big concert with his band tonight.  I am going to try to go, because I know it is very important to him.  It will be very late tonight at a venue I am not entirely comfortable with (never been to bars, much), but I want to do this for my son.  At least it is a 3-day weekend and I can rest up.  My son is the one on the left in both pictures (bass guitar).  The other guy in the picture on the right and second from the right in the next picture was killed tragically on December 26, 2011.  The concert is a memorial concert for him.

The Last Romantica
I will wrap this up with one more thought. There was a program on television (one of those crime shows on ID) and the narrator was talking about gluttony, one of the seven deadly sins.  (In this case, it had nothing to do with food or eating.)  But it got me  to thinking.  When the Bible “condemns” gluttony, I have always had this picture of an angry God, demanding that you tow the line and “straighten up!”  But it hit me, gluttony is not one of the seven deadly sins because God condemns you for eating too much, it is because He knows the effect it will have on you and He loves you and wants better things for you.  He knows gluttony will lead to an unhealthy body, unhealthy emotions and be bad for you in almost every way.  He wants you to be happy and well and fit, because He knows that is what is best for you.  It is not that He does not want you to have fun and enjoy yourself.  I think so many people have that view of God about almost everything He says not to do.  It is not because He is this big disciplinarian in the sky who wants to keep you from having fun.  It’s because He is trying to protect you from things that will destroy you, just like you would do for your children.  I don’t remember what the other of the seven deadly sins are at the moment, but I bet if we looked at them, the same thing would be true for all of them.  They will destroy you if left unchecked.  Unfortunately, religion has given us that false concept of God.  I am thankful that He showed me yet another example where I have not known Him as He truly is.  He loves me and wants what is best for me.  That is why He doesn’t want sin – in this case, gluttony – to run rampant in my life.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend!  Thank you to all of the soldiers and military persons who have sacrificed for our country.  We can never repay the debt for the sacrifices you have made.  God Bless America!

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